March 28-April 3, 2010 Days 189-195
I have been giving this new and improved blog some thought and I realize, that under my current circumstances, it is going to be very difficult to get a good grade for myself here. I decided not to worry too much about it though and here is why: In class this week we learned about vital signs. The first set is called the baseline vitals. This set of vital signs is a basis for determining how well our patient is doing when compared to later readings. We can see through trending if the patient is staying stable or if the patient's condition is deteriorating. When I thought about that, I thought the same is true of my grade in this blog. Each week's grade is a baseline vital for the following week. Keeping that in mind and knowing that I am giving my all in this endeavor to become an EMT, I feel a lot better about the grade, even though it doesn't meet the standard of where I WANT it to be.
This week's report card:
PT Who has time to exercise? D
R&R What's That? C
Health B-
Study Hall A+ and Extra Credit
Total grade for the week C+
Monday was the first day of class for me. I hope that the weather was not a sign of things to come. All day there was nothing but a giant storm cloud following me around. One minute we had a brief glimpse of blue sky and sunshine then the angry black clouds would roll in and release their wrath of rain and hail upon us. When they were through, they would quietly disappear and the sunlight would show for another moment before the next regiment rolled in. The wind was relentless and unforgiving too. All in all, it was an ugly day outside. Great day for the first day of EMT school. SIGH
I had been nervous and anxious about the first class all day. One of my child care parents came in to pick up his son before I left for school and when he saw me he asked me if I was okay. I wondered why he would ask. I was smiling. I was engaged in activities with children. I told him I was fine and asked, "Why? Is my face red or something?" (I have Rosacea, a skin condition that causes blotchy redness, among other things) Sometimes when the Rosacea acts up people think I am sick or getting sick so I assumed this was why he had asked. He said that I looked fine it was just that God had really put it on his heart to pray for me. WOW! It is always so special to be loved and acknowledged by God.
When five o'clock rolled around, I waved goodbye to my staff and the kids and I did something I have not done in over twenty years... I went to school. I walked into my classroom about 35 minutes early. There were two young male students in their seats, no where near each other. I felt very shy and uncomfortable but, since I have been trying hard to overcome my shyness, I painted on a smile and walked in. I made eye contact with the nearest student to me and said brightly, "Hi!" I got absolutely no response whatsoever. Really. I glanced at the other student, across the room and he didn't look up at me. I sat down at the seat in front of the first student and began looking through my text book again, reviewing the material that was to be covered that evening. Rough start!
Shortly after that another young male student sat next to the one I had chosen to sit in front of, the one who had so blatantly ignored me. Their conversation was annoying at best and I realized I was sitting in front of two very immature boys who were going to annoy me to no end if I did not move. Several students later, one walked in who was female and roughly my age. She sat in the front row, which is where I really wanted to sit to begin with but didn't for some reason so I moved and introduced myself. Her name was Cindy and she was at least friendly. We chatted for a few minutes and presently, Adrian, a young man who had been in my CPR for the Professional Rescuer class spotted me and sat next to me on the other side. I was very glad to see that he had made it into the class!
Our instructor, Tom, is a fire chief and paramedic for a local county fire district. (We have a second instructor, Cliff, who is an Assistant Chief for another neighboring county fire district.) Tom told us that we were no longer going to have any friends, social life or time for family or anything else for the next three months. He gave us our course outline, walked us through the process of becoming an EMT Basic in Washington State and launched into the night's materials. He was kind and understanding about people's schedules and personal lives but firm about his policies and the DOT requirements for the course. At the end of the night I went home, expecting to be entering a dark house where everyone was asleep only to find out that my hubby waited up for me for my first day of school. As soon as he hugged me and asked how it was, I burst into tears! I was so overwhelmed. I don't know how I am going to go to school and work full time. I know God knows all about it, but I have to say, I am stressed out.
Tuesday morning I did something I have never done before. I attended the housing ceremony for our local fire department's new Engine 10. As anyone familiar with the fire service knows, traditions are an important part of any department's history. Some traditions universal to fire departments include bag pipes, red fire engines and dalmations. It is even a tradition that if one firefighter gets shown on television he or she must buy icecream for the rest of their crew. Another tradition is the housing ceremony.
Housing ceremonies date back to the 19th century when fire apparatus was usually a horse drawn wagon filled with water. Even back then, when a fire company bought a new fire wagon, they invited the community to come see it. After the community came to view it the fire crew would "push" the wagon back into the firehouse because horses don't easily go in reverse!
While we no longer use horse drawn wagons for fighting fires, the tradition of a housing ceremony still exists in varying forms today.
The program was about a half an hour long, maybe a little shorter. The prelude consisted of a lovely piece by a piper from our city's honor guard. It was followed by a short speech by the fire department's spokesperson. After that the Fire Chief spoke of the many runs that Engine 10 has made in her tenure with our department. Our station 10 is the busiest in our state and the chief spoke of what great care that her crews gave her to keep her in such good shape.
The COO of the Darley Company gave a short presentation about what remarkable shape the old Engine 10 was still in. He spoke of the demanding specs that the city required of his company when ordering apparatus and how Darley Company had worked so hard to meet those needs in great detail. His speech was followed by the Vice President of Spartan Motors who shared similar information from the Spartan Comany's perspective.
Then came the fun. "A" shift pulled out old Engine 10 onto the apron and the guests of the ceremony were given an opportunity to look her over one last time and take pictures before the crew "pushed" her off the apron for the last time. Then "B" Shift backed the new Engine 10 onto the apron. Again there was time given for pictures and admiration of the new rig before the invocation and Blessing were given by the Chaplain Emeritus (he retired after many decades of service with the department this past January). His prayer was beautiful asking that Engine 10 and her crews would be a blessing to the community in their service to it and praying for protection for the crews and citizens they serve. I was very touched by it.
Once that was done, the community was invited to assist in pushing Engine 10 into the bay to begin her career and service. I was first to take position on the front passenger corner and together we all "pushed" as the "B" Shift Chaffeur backed her into place.
It was a beautiful ceremony and not something I will forget for a long time. After it was over, fire fighters and their families, administrators, citizens and the like all visited and shared light refreshments. I made my rounds to the few that I knew and then went home to study.
Here are some facts about the retiring Engine 10 which was also a Darley Pumper on a Spartan Chassis:
Engine 10 has proudly served our city's South End neighborhood since 1996. In it's lifetime it went on nearly 60,000 calls and travelled an amazing 201,428 miles in serving our community.
Some facts I learned about the new Engine 10:
The new Engine 10 is a state of the art fire engine. E-10 has enhanced safety features and is compliant with EPA emission and fuel conservation standards. The electronic pump and valve controls (for regulating the water supply) have been improved and designed to increase dependability and efficiency. Engine 10 is 9 feet 5 inches tall and 31 feet 8 inches long. It has a 1,500 gallon per minute Darley pump and two booster line reels. The Engine carries 30 gallons of foam, 2,500 feet of hose and has a 500 gallon water tank. It also contains a Class A compressed air foam system.
***************
Tuesday after the ceremony I hit the books then went back to work. I came home and hit the books some more before going to bed. Just before going to bed, I did something I really didn't want to do. In fact, I hated to do it, but it was the right thing to do. I used my fire phone and put myself, "Canteen 7" out of service for the next 96 hours. It was not a choice really. Our code is family first, work second (including school) and Buffing third. I will not be able to respond to many fire calls until I finish school. I will be in service when it is appropriate to do so, but this class is definitely my priority. I want to live the dream!
The rest of the week consisted of getting up in the morning, going to work, coming home and studying, going back to work, then on Wednesday and Thursday I went back to school and finally came home to bed. I didn't make it to bed before 11:15 any night this week until Friday night when I came home from work and spent about two hours goofing off (catching up my email, mostly). Then it was back to the books until I went to bed about 11, but I didn't get up until 6. SEVEN WHOLE HOURS!!! WOO HOO! When I got up at six I went back to the books and finshed up preparing for today's class. Today we had lecture for four hours on lifting and moving patients and taking baseline vitals. Then after an hour lunch break we had three more hours of class to practice our skills. Monday will be our first test, both written and practicals. EEK! Class was over at 4:00 but I stayed after when Tom asked for a few volunteers. (I'm not a dummy! When the instuctor asks for volunteers, it is a learning opportunity and I was not about to pass it up!) He had a few of us stay after and participate in a test for a former student who had taken an incomplete last quarter due to some extenuating circumstances. One of us got to be his patient, the victim of a car accident, and the rest of us were part of the student's crew and were directed by him as he took charge of the scene as the EMT.
All in all it has been a very hard, challenging and trying week. I spent many hours studying, few sleeping and pretty much none recreating. I spent mostly driving time praying and did a fair amount of crying in private moments and while talking to God. I am feeling a little better right now and I am still glad I am doing this.
I don't know what I would have done with out all the support I have gotten from you, my team members, my friends, co-workers, family and the families that I serve at work. I am very blessed.
Stay safe, Team!
Hotflash out.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Report From Ladder Company 40 The New and Improved Blog Plan
March 21-27, 2010 Days 184-188
Hi Team!
This past week has been long yet went by quickly. I can’t really explain it except that it is finally over and I am very tired from it all and wishing to go back at the same time.
Friday morning at 2:45 am I was dispatched to a 2-11 (2 alarm structure fire) in a commercial building. It was a medical building and when I arrived it was spewing flames from the front of the building and the roof. Sadly it was arson. The fire chief released us just as my alarm went off (I use my cell phone for an alarm clock) to get up for work. Sigh.
Saturday my husband and I spent four hours at the Fire Training Center going through the practical exercises for CERT and received our certificates. It was a great class and I learned a lot there but I want more than that. I can hardly wait to finish school and get working!
Saturday my brother surprised me with a visit so in the evening the Fire Buff Battalion all went out to Shari’s to meet him and visit. After I dropped him off at his in-laws where he was staying I went home. He had asked that I call him to come play if we got anything and I didn’t expect it to happen. I’ve gone weeks without a call and never had more than one in a week before, but hot damn!… (no pun intended) at 22:30 a call came in. 1-11 in the north end. (Single alarm structure fire) and we got to play!
So, as you see, it has been a busy and constructive week for me. I only got two days of planned exercise in but went on two fire calls which I worked at so that sort of makes up for the one miss. I drank all my fluids for the week but my sleep was in the tank! I must figure out how to improve that and fast.
I have talked about redesigning this blog and now I think I know what to do. I think I will give my self a weekly letter grade. A,B,C or D. Sort of like a weekly report card.
The subjects will be Physical Training (PT), Study Hall (studying for school), Rest and Recuperation or R and R (Sleep), and Health (where I will report on my fluid intake and occasionally on my weight loss efforts).
The report card will have a section for Extra Curricular activities: Fire Buff Battalion stuff, Dream stuff, etc.
Here is how I will grade myself:
If I purposely exercise 3 times a week I will get an A for Physical Training
2 times a week will be a B
1 time will be a C
No times on purpose will be a D
Studying will be added to my list of things to be held accountable for. (We’ll say a minimum of one hour of study is a unit. I’m sure there will be much more than that.)
5 days of studying gives me an A
4 days will be a B
3 days will be a C
2 days will be a D
Each day I drink at least 2 quarts of fluids including skim milk, water, tea (hot or iced), 100 per cent juice, or sugar free drink mix I will give myself a point.
Seven points will be an A
Five or six points will be a B
Four points will be a C
Three points or below will be a D.
You might notice there are no E grades or Failing grades. I am doing it that way by design. If I am going to do this, failure is NOT an option! I am going to do this, one way or another.
Now, I am not unrealistic. I know I have a lot of challenges that could prevent me from getting to the top of the ladder I’m climbing. I may never be a firefighter/paramedic. Physically it is an extremely demanding job and my old, beat up body might never be able to hack it. But I’m not going to roll over right now and say, “I can’t.” It is not part of my vocabulary. I am going to shoot for the moon. If I become a paramedic and have to work for a private company, I’ll do it. If I don’t make it as far as paramedic, I can be an EMT for a private company. Or even in a hospital.
Either way, I am going to do this. I will be certified to make a difference. Even if I never save a life I can make a difference if one person feels like their emergency was a little more bearable because somebody cared or somebody allowed them some dignity. Even if I never hear “thank you,” I will know I have made a difference by seeing fear start to subside or by being able to reassure a frightened patient or family member. I want to be there. I want to help.
Last night I sat down to think for a moment and it suddenly hit me! The time between “I’m going to go to school” and “I AM going to school” has disappeared! This is it! No more talking. This is where the rubber meets the road. Bring it on!
Thanks for staying with me through this. I know I don’t always post interesting things and I ramble, etc. But you, my team, have remained faithful and give me more encouragement than you might ever imagine. Half of you came to my blog by invitation and half of you stumbled upon me one way or another all on your own. Either way, I am grateful to have you here.
I hope you like the new and improved Report From Ladder Company 40. It starts with the week of March 28-April 3rd.
Until then, stay safe!
Hotflash out.
Hi Team!
This past week has been long yet went by quickly. I can’t really explain it except that it is finally over and I am very tired from it all and wishing to go back at the same time.
Friday morning at 2:45 am I was dispatched to a 2-11 (2 alarm structure fire) in a commercial building. It was a medical building and when I arrived it was spewing flames from the front of the building and the roof. Sadly it was arson. The fire chief released us just as my alarm went off (I use my cell phone for an alarm clock) to get up for work. Sigh.
Saturday my husband and I spent four hours at the Fire Training Center going through the practical exercises for CERT and received our certificates. It was a great class and I learned a lot there but I want more than that. I can hardly wait to finish school and get working!
Saturday my brother surprised me with a visit so in the evening the Fire Buff Battalion all went out to Shari’s to meet him and visit. After I dropped him off at his in-laws where he was staying I went home. He had asked that I call him to come play if we got anything and I didn’t expect it to happen. I’ve gone weeks without a call and never had more than one in a week before, but hot damn!… (no pun intended) at 22:30 a call came in. 1-11 in the north end. (Single alarm structure fire) and we got to play!
So, as you see, it has been a busy and constructive week for me. I only got two days of planned exercise in but went on two fire calls which I worked at so that sort of makes up for the one miss. I drank all my fluids for the week but my sleep was in the tank! I must figure out how to improve that and fast.
I have talked about redesigning this blog and now I think I know what to do. I think I will give my self a weekly letter grade. A,B,C or D. Sort of like a weekly report card.
The subjects will be Physical Training (PT), Study Hall (studying for school), Rest and Recuperation or R and R (Sleep), and Health (where I will report on my fluid intake and occasionally on my weight loss efforts).
The report card will have a section for Extra Curricular activities: Fire Buff Battalion stuff, Dream stuff, etc.
Here is how I will grade myself:
If I purposely exercise 3 times a week I will get an A for Physical Training
2 times a week will be a B
1 time will be a C
No times on purpose will be a D
Studying will be added to my list of things to be held accountable for. (We’ll say a minimum of one hour of study is a unit. I’m sure there will be much more than that.)
5 days of studying gives me an A
4 days will be a B
3 days will be a C
2 days will be a D
Each day I drink at least 2 quarts of fluids including skim milk, water, tea (hot or iced), 100 per cent juice, or sugar free drink mix I will give myself a point.
Seven points will be an A
Five or six points will be a B
Four points will be a C
Three points or below will be a D.
You might notice there are no E grades or Failing grades. I am doing it that way by design. If I am going to do this, failure is NOT an option! I am going to do this, one way or another.
Now, I am not unrealistic. I know I have a lot of challenges that could prevent me from getting to the top of the ladder I’m climbing. I may never be a firefighter/paramedic. Physically it is an extremely demanding job and my old, beat up body might never be able to hack it. But I’m not going to roll over right now and say, “I can’t.” It is not part of my vocabulary. I am going to shoot for the moon. If I become a paramedic and have to work for a private company, I’ll do it. If I don’t make it as far as paramedic, I can be an EMT for a private company. Or even in a hospital.
Either way, I am going to do this. I will be certified to make a difference. Even if I never save a life I can make a difference if one person feels like their emergency was a little more bearable because somebody cared or somebody allowed them some dignity. Even if I never hear “thank you,” I will know I have made a difference by seeing fear start to subside or by being able to reassure a frightened patient or family member. I want to be there. I want to help.
Last night I sat down to think for a moment and it suddenly hit me! The time between “I’m going to go to school” and “I AM going to school” has disappeared! This is it! No more talking. This is where the rubber meets the road. Bring it on!
Thanks for staying with me through this. I know I don’t always post interesting things and I ramble, etc. But you, my team, have remained faithful and give me more encouragement than you might ever imagine. Half of you came to my blog by invitation and half of you stumbled upon me one way or another all on your own. Either way, I am grateful to have you here.
I hope you like the new and improved Report From Ladder Company 40. It starts with the week of March 28-April 3rd.
Until then, stay safe!
Hotflash out.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 178-183
Hi Team!
(March 17-22)
Wow, have I gotten behind or what?! My life is picking up speed and I am finding it harder and harder to sit down and get my blog done. And the sad thing is that it isn't because I'm avoiding it. I like my blog. I think personally that it can get to be on the boring side when it is all accountability report and no anecdotes to go with it, but I love the the feedback and encouragement I get from blogging. And when I do have stories to tell it is really fun to tell them. The problem is simply that there are not enough hours in a day or days in a week to do all the things I want to do.
Why am I rambling about all of this? Well, it is because it is high time that I find a solution to the problem.
I could, of course, just stop doing some of the things I do to make more time for others. Actually, I already have. I could blog less often. I've done that too. It isn't going so well because by the time I get to it, I have forgotten details of the very things I am hoping my team will hold me accountable for. I could stop blogging all together. I don't want to. I have made some nice friends here and, as I said before, I appreciate the comments and encouragement I find here.
Those are the only ideas I came up with, save for one. What is that, you ask? Okay, so maybe you didn't ask but I'm going to tell you anyway. The ony solution I can come up with is to revamp this blog. I don't have all the details yet, but I am thinking of blogging weekly, (on the weekends) reporting on my progress with keeping active, drinking enough fluids and getting enough sleep. (well, more sleep than I used to anyway. I am not sure I will EVER get to the point that I get enough sleep!) It would be a general weekly rating instead of my daily three for three. I give details of how much I drank, just the number of days I met or exceeded the goal. Same for exercise and sleep. Then I will try to tell something about my week in each blog. That should be easy now. I have this week to finish up my CERT training. I am sure there will be something interesting to talk about from that. Then next week on Monday EMT school starts.
OMG! I can't belive it is almost here! That sure creeped up on me fast! And CERT classes made me realize I am probably overdue for my second hepB shot. I wonder if that means I have to start over? UGH! I hope not! Oops, that wasn't what I intended to write about. Back at the ranch....
I hope that I will have the basic format figured out in my head by this weekend. I probably will not blog again until then. I hope that isn't too disappointing for you, my loyal team. I need your support and encouragement as much as ever and I want you to know I truly appreciate it. You have been faithful followers and I doubt I would be where I am without you all gently kicking me in the backside from time to time.
Feel free to leave input as to what you would like to see here. I don't want to make this a chore for you to read as I fear it has been too often already. If you like seeing certain things here or have questions, please let me know. I do like to talk. I just don't always know what to say!
I will write at you all later!
Stay safe!
Hotflash out.
(March 17-22)
Wow, have I gotten behind or what?! My life is picking up speed and I am finding it harder and harder to sit down and get my blog done. And the sad thing is that it isn't because I'm avoiding it. I like my blog. I think personally that it can get to be on the boring side when it is all accountability report and no anecdotes to go with it, but I love the the feedback and encouragement I get from blogging. And when I do have stories to tell it is really fun to tell them. The problem is simply that there are not enough hours in a day or days in a week to do all the things I want to do.
Why am I rambling about all of this? Well, it is because it is high time that I find a solution to the problem.
I could, of course, just stop doing some of the things I do to make more time for others. Actually, I already have. I could blog less often. I've done that too. It isn't going so well because by the time I get to it, I have forgotten details of the very things I am hoping my team will hold me accountable for. I could stop blogging all together. I don't want to. I have made some nice friends here and, as I said before, I appreciate the comments and encouragement I find here.
Those are the only ideas I came up with, save for one. What is that, you ask? Okay, so maybe you didn't ask but I'm going to tell you anyway. The ony solution I can come up with is to revamp this blog. I don't have all the details yet, but I am thinking of blogging weekly, (on the weekends) reporting on my progress with keeping active, drinking enough fluids and getting enough sleep. (well, more sleep than I used to anyway. I am not sure I will EVER get to the point that I get enough sleep!) It would be a general weekly rating instead of my daily three for three. I give details of how much I drank, just the number of days I met or exceeded the goal. Same for exercise and sleep. Then I will try to tell something about my week in each blog. That should be easy now. I have this week to finish up my CERT training. I am sure there will be something interesting to talk about from that. Then next week on Monday EMT school starts.
OMG! I can't belive it is almost here! That sure creeped up on me fast! And CERT classes made me realize I am probably overdue for my second hepB shot. I wonder if that means I have to start over? UGH! I hope not! Oops, that wasn't what I intended to write about. Back at the ranch....
I hope that I will have the basic format figured out in my head by this weekend. I probably will not blog again until then. I hope that isn't too disappointing for you, my loyal team. I need your support and encouragement as much as ever and I want you to know I truly appreciate it. You have been faithful followers and I doubt I would be where I am without you all gently kicking me in the backside from time to time.
Feel free to leave input as to what you would like to see here. I don't want to make this a chore for you to read as I fear it has been too often already. If you like seeing certain things here or have questions, please let me know. I do like to talk. I just don't always know what to say!
I will write at you all later!
Stay safe!
Hotflash out.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 176 and 177
Hi Team!
As you saw by my pre-post, I am very happy to announce that I am NOT pregnant! The thought of being pregnant at 41, having a kid graduating high school when I'm 60 and kissing my last shot at my dream goodbye had stressed me greatly. Although, after I laid it on the alter, I really started to feel at peace with the possibility. I knew I would be sad to let go of the dream yet, I started to think it wouldn't be so bad. And then when I found out for sure I was not, and I told my husband, I really had a flood of mixed emotions. He said to me, "Well, you were the only one who was worried. I wouldn't have minded."
o_0
For years I wanted another, and he never seemed concerned when we didn't get pregnant. Now he's the one feeling sad? Wow. I never knew he felt that way. And now I just want to hug him non-stop and tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am for the disappointment. Not that I personally disappointed him, but I am feeling sad for the loss of what could have been for him. Does that make any sense?
Well, thanks for letting me just ramble about it a bit. I feel a little better.
Monday I did not want to go, again, to work out. I have been having real issues about just getting there lately. I felt very tired and ill. I went any way. (Because Coach Alex doesn't like it very much when I cancel!) Although I only walked two of the three miles we planned to walk, I was glad that I went. Alex just happily chatters away while we walk and I occasionally throw a word or two in of my own. This time she was talking about a lesson she learned when she went to see TD Jakes on Friday night. And the message was very uplifting to her. It was uplifting to me in her re-telling. God is so good. He always sends the encouragement I need just when I need it. Sometimes it is something from His word. Sometimes it is a call from a friend I haven't seen in a while. Or a new team member for my blog. Or any number of things. Every day I feel His blessings upon me and I am very thankful.
Not only did I work out, but I drank all the fluids I set out to drink for the day. 2 1/2 quarts of water and iced tea. Lately, it has been an effort to get the fluids down too. Maybe the stress of my busy schedule and anxiety about school is affecting me worse than I thought. No matter, I have a strong desire to succeed and a good support system.
I also slept well last night. I don't remember waking up at all. But even though I slept through the night, I am very tired. That is probably due to trying to adjust to daylight savings time more than anything else. In any case, I had a three for three kind of day. Yay me!
All in all, it was a really good day.
Tuesday
Report first: Slept well, drank 3 quarts today and was as active as possible at work. It was not a scheduled work out day so I score three for three. Yay me!
In CERT class tonight, we started Disaster Medical Operations. Our class tonight was taught by a 25 year veteran paramedic from our town's fire department. She was funny and fun to learn from. We had been warned ahead of time not to volunteer for anything. We didn't have to. She never asked for volunteers, she chose victims. And I got to be the one she demonstrated pressure bandaging on. She was built as solidly as they come but definitely the size of a woman. Except for her hands! They were giant MAN sized hands and that woman could grip! Somehow she gripped the gaping arterial wound in my arm with one hand as she showed how to wrap it and apply pressure at the same time. Even before she wrapped my arm, I felt my hand start to throb. Then she wrapped it expertly and tied it in a tight little bow, on the first try without catching her fingers in the bow, with two pairs of nitrile gloves on. And she made it look simple. And for her, it WAS simple. Then she continues holding my hand up showing off her handy work and talking about the technique. She looked like she might untie it at one point but then I swear I saw an evil grin cross her lips as she stepped away from me and continued to lecture the class. Then she'd step back and look and talk some more. She was pleased to see a good vein in my arm and announced she could easily get a 14 guage in there. NO THANKS! I didn't sign up for that. She let out an evil laugh when I declined. Then she walked away and continued talking again. My hand started to look a little ashen in color. My hand and fingers were throbbing. I swore anyone could see it if they glanced my way. She kept stealing glances at me. I was waiting her out knowing it was a test and she was waiting me out, knowing she would win. Finally I could stand it no longer and tried to non-chalantly untie it. She stopped talking mid-sentence to ask me why I was taking it off so soon. And then gave that evil smile again. I think she likes me.
Later, when we had learned how to triage, she sent a third of the class out while the rest of us were given assignments as vicitms. Oddly I had another arterial bleed. This time in my other arm on the upper part. I was propped up agains the legs of a table, underneath the table for cover. We had just had a terrible earthquake. I was in the center of the room. As I screamed about the spurting bright red blood I waited for somebody to help me. I freaked out because it was shooting across the room and I knew I was going to die and I just couldn't stop the blood. Still it was five minutes before anyone looked at me. She was very nervous and she tied my pressure bandage on me as she talked trying to calm me down. She was so nervous that she tied it underneath the wound. And she asked me if I had children to distract me from asking questions about the blood. I told her I had a 17 year old son then started to freak out because I didnt' know where he was. She didn't know what to do. I felt sorry for her. I wasn't a nice victim. Finally I felt sorry for her (really I was just feeling glad to be a victim rather than a rescuer!) and I pretended she calmed me down. I should have been dead by then anyway, right?
My turn is coming. Next time I will be the nervous rescuer. I can't wait to find out what I won't remember. In fact, with all we covered last night, all I could think about on the way home was how much there is to learn and how little capacity my brain seems to have available. And this is the tip of the iceberg. EMT school is less than two weeks away. Oh BOY!
Thursday night we will cover Disaster Medical Operations, part two. I'm nervous but looking forward to it. If nothing else, when I graduate from CERT I will have learned a few skills and will have had some wonderful networking opportunities at the very least. I am hoping for more than that. I am hoping to feel comfortable practicing my new skills and I hope to feel more confident that I am ready for a true emergency and ready to help. God help me. Even though this is strictly voluntary, it is a big responsibility. I want to rise to it and do it right.
Stay safe, team!
Hotflash out.
As you saw by my pre-post, I am very happy to announce that I am NOT pregnant! The thought of being pregnant at 41, having a kid graduating high school when I'm 60 and kissing my last shot at my dream goodbye had stressed me greatly. Although, after I laid it on the alter, I really started to feel at peace with the possibility. I knew I would be sad to let go of the dream yet, I started to think it wouldn't be so bad. And then when I found out for sure I was not, and I told my husband, I really had a flood of mixed emotions. He said to me, "Well, you were the only one who was worried. I wouldn't have minded."
o_0
For years I wanted another, and he never seemed concerned when we didn't get pregnant. Now he's the one feeling sad? Wow. I never knew he felt that way. And now I just want to hug him non-stop and tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am for the disappointment. Not that I personally disappointed him, but I am feeling sad for the loss of what could have been for him. Does that make any sense?
Well, thanks for letting me just ramble about it a bit. I feel a little better.
Monday I did not want to go, again, to work out. I have been having real issues about just getting there lately. I felt very tired and ill. I went any way. (Because Coach Alex doesn't like it very much when I cancel!) Although I only walked two of the three miles we planned to walk, I was glad that I went. Alex just happily chatters away while we walk and I occasionally throw a word or two in of my own. This time she was talking about a lesson she learned when she went to see TD Jakes on Friday night. And the message was very uplifting to her. It was uplifting to me in her re-telling. God is so good. He always sends the encouragement I need just when I need it. Sometimes it is something from His word. Sometimes it is a call from a friend I haven't seen in a while. Or a new team member for my blog. Or any number of things. Every day I feel His blessings upon me and I am very thankful.
Not only did I work out, but I drank all the fluids I set out to drink for the day. 2 1/2 quarts of water and iced tea. Lately, it has been an effort to get the fluids down too. Maybe the stress of my busy schedule and anxiety about school is affecting me worse than I thought. No matter, I have a strong desire to succeed and a good support system.
I also slept well last night. I don't remember waking up at all. But even though I slept through the night, I am very tired. That is probably due to trying to adjust to daylight savings time more than anything else. In any case, I had a three for three kind of day. Yay me!
All in all, it was a really good day.
Tuesday
Report first: Slept well, drank 3 quarts today and was as active as possible at work. It was not a scheduled work out day so I score three for three. Yay me!
In CERT class tonight, we started Disaster Medical Operations. Our class tonight was taught by a 25 year veteran paramedic from our town's fire department. She was funny and fun to learn from. We had been warned ahead of time not to volunteer for anything. We didn't have to. She never asked for volunteers, she chose victims. And I got to be the one she demonstrated pressure bandaging on. She was built as solidly as they come but definitely the size of a woman. Except for her hands! They were giant MAN sized hands and that woman could grip! Somehow she gripped the gaping arterial wound in my arm with one hand as she showed how to wrap it and apply pressure at the same time. Even before she wrapped my arm, I felt my hand start to throb. Then she wrapped it expertly and tied it in a tight little bow, on the first try without catching her fingers in the bow, with two pairs of nitrile gloves on. And she made it look simple. And for her, it WAS simple. Then she continues holding my hand up showing off her handy work and talking about the technique. She looked like she might untie it at one point but then I swear I saw an evil grin cross her lips as she stepped away from me and continued to lecture the class. Then she'd step back and look and talk some more. She was pleased to see a good vein in my arm and announced she could easily get a 14 guage in there. NO THANKS! I didn't sign up for that. She let out an evil laugh when I declined. Then she walked away and continued talking again. My hand started to look a little ashen in color. My hand and fingers were throbbing. I swore anyone could see it if they glanced my way. She kept stealing glances at me. I was waiting her out knowing it was a test and she was waiting me out, knowing she would win. Finally I could stand it no longer and tried to non-chalantly untie it. She stopped talking mid-sentence to ask me why I was taking it off so soon. And then gave that evil smile again. I think she likes me.
Later, when we had learned how to triage, she sent a third of the class out while the rest of us were given assignments as vicitms. Oddly I had another arterial bleed. This time in my other arm on the upper part. I was propped up agains the legs of a table, underneath the table for cover. We had just had a terrible earthquake. I was in the center of the room. As I screamed about the spurting bright red blood I waited for somebody to help me. I freaked out because it was shooting across the room and I knew I was going to die and I just couldn't stop the blood. Still it was five minutes before anyone looked at me. She was very nervous and she tied my pressure bandage on me as she talked trying to calm me down. She was so nervous that she tied it underneath the wound. And she asked me if I had children to distract me from asking questions about the blood. I told her I had a 17 year old son then started to freak out because I didnt' know where he was. She didn't know what to do. I felt sorry for her. I wasn't a nice victim. Finally I felt sorry for her (really I was just feeling glad to be a victim rather than a rescuer!) and I pretended she calmed me down. I should have been dead by then anyway, right?
My turn is coming. Next time I will be the nervous rescuer. I can't wait to find out what I won't remember. In fact, with all we covered last night, all I could think about on the way home was how much there is to learn and how little capacity my brain seems to have available. And this is the tip of the iceberg. EMT school is less than two weeks away. Oh BOY!
Thursday night we will cover Disaster Medical Operations, part two. I'm nervous but looking forward to it. If nothing else, when I graduate from CERT I will have learned a few skills and will have had some wonderful networking opportunities at the very least. I am hoping for more than that. I am hoping to feel comfortable practicing my new skills and I hope to feel more confident that I am ready for a true emergency and ready to help. God help me. Even though this is strictly voluntary, it is a big responsibility. I want to rise to it and do it right.
Stay safe, team!
Hotflash out.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 176 (Pre-post)
Hi Team!
Guess what???
. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:) :) :) :) :) :)
Now I am a happy camper!
Stay safe!
Hotflash out.
Guess what???
. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:) :) :) :) :) :)
Now I am a happy camper!
Stay safe!
Hotflash out.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 174 and 175
Hi Team!
Friday
I am feeling much less freaked out and more calm today. On my way to work this morning I laid everything on the alter. I told God how I felt about this whole thing. I admitted selfishness in that I really want to pursue this dream of mine and I am not eager to give it up. But I love God and I know He loves me and wants what is best for me. I realize what amazing obstacles have already been overcome to get as far as I have and I still feel in my heart that He has directed every step of the way. Then I thought about some of my recent words.
"Nothing is going to stop me." "I'm not going to give this up for anything." "I'm going to have my cake and eat it too." And the list goes on. Things I said to keep myself motivated, but also prideful things. I realized that living this dream is my Isaac. And I prayed God would forgive me for putting it first above all else. I had been cautioned against this by my friend Gigahertz and still I let it happen. I prayed that God would take my life and use it for His will. That he would use it to glorify Him. I told him I would give it all up if that is what He asked of me and I prayed that if I should have to He would fill my heart with gladness and fulfillment in His will. I prayed many more things on the way to work that morning. Finally, I find I am at peace.
I still don't know if I am pregnant or not, though I suspect not. I have taken two tests and both have come back negative. However, I have not had any corroborating evidence. I still don't like not knowing. But I am not freaking out.
To those of you who have been sending me well wishes and offering prayers on my behalf, I thank you so much.
OKAY, report time!
I slept fairly well last night, surprisingly. I guess when one gets tired enough that will happen. By the time my morning shift ended however, I was feeling pretty tired and run down. Again, I only showed up for my walk with Coach Alex because I didn't want to be "disciplined" for not doing so. LOL (Because Coach Alex is SOOOOO scary!) Seriously though, I was glad I went, as I always am. And Coach rewarded me with a white chocolate dark cherry mocha. Mmmmmmm! Besides the coffee, I had two quarts and 12 oz. of watered down juice today. That puts me at three for three! YAY ME!
Saturday
I slept VERY well last night. :) =D =) Today I drank well over three quarts of fluids but they were not all good ones. There was about one quart of water, one and a half quarts of iced tea, 8 oz. of dark beer (left over from cooking for my potluck), some juice and lots of punch (consisiting of lime juice, 7-up and strawberry-kiwi sherbet) at the potluck. I was as acive as I usually am for a Saturday which isn't terribly, but I have done everything I am supposed to do so I am saying three for three today.
It was a day of running for me. First I took my mom and step dad to the train station so they could go to band camp. Mom plays tenor sax and Pop plays barry. Mr Flash and I got them all settled at the train station and then went to take my Explorer in for a recall issue. (of course they called it a courtesy repair, not a recall). As we pulled out of the dealership in my husband's truck my cell phone rang. It was my mom all upset that they had forgotten her walker. My mom needed the walker to be able to move around on the train and she even uses it most of the time at home. Luckily she has made an excellent choice and had arrived at the train station nearly an hour early. My husband and I scrambled to get to the train station, pick up Pop, take him back to the house for the walker and a few other things he wanted to look for and we got him back just in time to board.
Next we drove to the fire training center so I could show my husband where it is. Our next CERT class is being held there and we both will be arriving in separated vehicles straight from work. After that we had to do some grocery shopping. UHG!
By the time we finished all of the running around, we had barely time enought to change clothes and run out again to go to a party! the Fire Buff Battalion St. Patty's Potluck. We got home around 9:30 pm but since we lost an hour, we counted it as 10:30 and hit the sack.
Stay safe, my friends!
Hotflash out.
Friday
I am feeling much less freaked out and more calm today. On my way to work this morning I laid everything on the alter. I told God how I felt about this whole thing. I admitted selfishness in that I really want to pursue this dream of mine and I am not eager to give it up. But I love God and I know He loves me and wants what is best for me. I realize what amazing obstacles have already been overcome to get as far as I have and I still feel in my heart that He has directed every step of the way. Then I thought about some of my recent words.
"Nothing is going to stop me." "I'm not going to give this up for anything." "I'm going to have my cake and eat it too." And the list goes on. Things I said to keep myself motivated, but also prideful things. I realized that living this dream is my Isaac. And I prayed God would forgive me for putting it first above all else. I had been cautioned against this by my friend Gigahertz and still I let it happen. I prayed that God would take my life and use it for His will. That he would use it to glorify Him. I told him I would give it all up if that is what He asked of me and I prayed that if I should have to He would fill my heart with gladness and fulfillment in His will. I prayed many more things on the way to work that morning. Finally, I find I am at peace.
I still don't know if I am pregnant or not, though I suspect not. I have taken two tests and both have come back negative. However, I have not had any corroborating evidence. I still don't like not knowing. But I am not freaking out.
To those of you who have been sending me well wishes and offering prayers on my behalf, I thank you so much.
OKAY, report time!
I slept fairly well last night, surprisingly. I guess when one gets tired enough that will happen. By the time my morning shift ended however, I was feeling pretty tired and run down. Again, I only showed up for my walk with Coach Alex because I didn't want to be "disciplined" for not doing so. LOL (Because Coach Alex is SOOOOO scary!) Seriously though, I was glad I went, as I always am. And Coach rewarded me with a white chocolate dark cherry mocha. Mmmmmmm! Besides the coffee, I had two quarts and 12 oz. of watered down juice today. That puts me at three for three! YAY ME!
Saturday
I slept VERY well last night. :) =D =) Today I drank well over three quarts of fluids but they were not all good ones. There was about one quart of water, one and a half quarts of iced tea, 8 oz. of dark beer (left over from cooking for my potluck), some juice and lots of punch (consisiting of lime juice, 7-up and strawberry-kiwi sherbet) at the potluck. I was as acive as I usually am for a Saturday which isn't terribly, but I have done everything I am supposed to do so I am saying three for three today.
It was a day of running for me. First I took my mom and step dad to the train station so they could go to band camp. Mom plays tenor sax and Pop plays barry. Mr Flash and I got them all settled at the train station and then went to take my Explorer in for a recall issue. (of course they called it a courtesy repair, not a recall). As we pulled out of the dealership in my husband's truck my cell phone rang. It was my mom all upset that they had forgotten her walker. My mom needed the walker to be able to move around on the train and she even uses it most of the time at home. Luckily she has made an excellent choice and had arrived at the train station nearly an hour early. My husband and I scrambled to get to the train station, pick up Pop, take him back to the house for the walker and a few other things he wanted to look for and we got him back just in time to board.
Next we drove to the fire training center so I could show my husband where it is. Our next CERT class is being held there and we both will be arriving in separated vehicles straight from work. After that we had to do some grocery shopping. UHG!
By the time we finished all of the running around, we had barely time enought to change clothes and run out again to go to a party! the Fire Buff Battalion St. Patty's Potluck. We got home around 9:30 pm but since we lost an hour, we counted it as 10:30 and hit the sack.
Stay safe, my friends!
Hotflash out.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Report from Ladder Company 40 Day 173
Hi Team. (No explanation point, sorry)
I am still very freaked out. A little more calm but still freaked out. I know I should not be when I don't have any evidence one way or the other, but it's easier to know that than to practice it. I keep thinking about it. My kids would be 18 years apart. I'd be sixty when my kiddo was ready to graduate. I guess that is one way to ward of empty nest syndrome. Sigh. I just feel like if that happens, I'll have to kiss my dream goodbye again. And it won't be revived after that. I'm pushing it now. I think I've gone from panicky to feeling very low.
I told my husband. He took it like I knew he would. He stayed very calm and didn't appear the least bit concerned. He said I shouldn't stress it until I knew something. I said that I knew that. Then he started to get on my case about "why are you stressing then?" I had to explain to him what I just said in the first paragraph of this post. It's easy to know when you're being irrational. It's not so easy to change the feelings that go with it.
Those closest to me who know what I am going through are having a wonderful time of it. The evil laugh of my assistant when I told her was almost unbelievable. Then later she came to me out of the blue and said to me, "Mrs, Hotlash, I'M NOT!" and jumped up in the air and clicked her heels together.
At first, being out of context of our work, I didn't know what she was talking about and I said, "Not what?"
But the big gleeful smile and the evil laugh that followed made me realize what she was talking about. She is having WAY too much fun at my expense.
I told my mom tonight and now she's freaked out FOR me. Even she commented on how ironic it is though. Another time would have been fantastic! Now, not so much.
OKAY: Report time.
I didn't sleep much at all. :( I did drink plenty of fluids... Nearly three quarts. Most of it was sugar free iced tea drink mix, though I did allow myself a glass of Cherry Pepsi at lumch out with my staff today, but only one 12 oz. glass! That's a habit that could re-form WAY too easily. Since lunch was also a staff meeting and I ran errands for work during my entire split today, I worked 12 hours straight today. I didn't go out of my way to exercise but it was not an exercise day for me either. I can fairly claim two for three for the day.
In Ladder Climbing news:
My second CERT class was tonight. The topic was "small fire suppression". Our fire departments inspector taught our class tonight. We covered all kinds of prevention stuff, more in depth than most talks and lectures I have heard in the past. We talked about how fast fire grows and about the kinds of conditions that can change rapidly during a fire. We covered the importance of the buddy system and that reverting to "Plan A" was always a good option to take. (Plan A is RUN AWAY!) After lots of lecture, lengthy question and answer periods, and a few videos, we were ready to put on our green CERT helmets, goggles and gloves and go practice with the fire extinguishers.
My CERT issued gloves were a joke! I think they would have been too big for my feet, with my shoes ON! When I saw them on Tuesday night I made it a point to make time to go buy gloves that would work better for me. I had a hard time finding leather gloves small enough. I found some that were close but on some parts of the back of the hands there was some kind of "polysomething" fabric. I didn't know if the CERT class instructors would accept them as a substitue for the standard issue "one size fits all" (that doesn't really) gloves. I needent have worried. When my partner and I stepped up to take our turn putting out the fire, the Fire Inspector looked at my gloves as I took the extinguisher from him.
"I see you got some practical gloves! Nice going," he said.
Sadly, we did not get to put out any real fires, though it had been planned that we would at least have flames! They use a computer operated fire machine, for lack of anything better to call it. It creates controlled flames and you spray the extinguisher at the sensors on the side panel of the machine that the flames come out of to simulate sweeping across the base of the fire with the blast from the extinguisher. Unfortunately, while we were inside the classroom, the rain messed with the machine and then the Inspector was not able to ignite the fire. So we put out invisible ones. BORING but probably not any more boring than putting out "fake" fires. Still, I guess it's better to have fake fires than to be called on to put out real ones. I guess! Seems logical anyway. Unless you're a goofball like me who has dreamed of doing just that her whole life. Sigh. (At least my bro lives my dream! -well... Part of it anyway. He isn't a paramedic.)
Last but DEFINITELY not least, I want to wish a BIG WARM WELCOME and THANK YOU to Brian for joining my team and following my blog! I have been enjoying his blog: Switch 2 Plan B: Misadventures of a Firefighter http://www.switch2planb.com/
*Note to Brian: I have to admit I was a little embarrassed at the thought that you joined when my "freaking out" post was the post of the day! But you have a wife. I'm sure you understand. LOL And it really made my day to see you as my new blog follower!
I cannot tell you all enough how much it means to me that you stick with me even through the most boring posts and continue to encourage me and lift me up in prayer the way you do. I feel so blessed to have friends like all of you. Even the ones I have not met. I hope some day to have the pleasure of meeting all of you. I'd give you a great big hug of appreciation, that's for sure!
Stay safe everyone!
Hotflash out.
I am still very freaked out. A little more calm but still freaked out. I know I should not be when I don't have any evidence one way or the other, but it's easier to know that than to practice it. I keep thinking about it. My kids would be 18 years apart. I'd be sixty when my kiddo was ready to graduate. I guess that is one way to ward of empty nest syndrome. Sigh. I just feel like if that happens, I'll have to kiss my dream goodbye again. And it won't be revived after that. I'm pushing it now. I think I've gone from panicky to feeling very low.
I told my husband. He took it like I knew he would. He stayed very calm and didn't appear the least bit concerned. He said I shouldn't stress it until I knew something. I said that I knew that. Then he started to get on my case about "why are you stressing then?" I had to explain to him what I just said in the first paragraph of this post. It's easy to know when you're being irrational. It's not so easy to change the feelings that go with it.
Those closest to me who know what I am going through are having a wonderful time of it. The evil laugh of my assistant when I told her was almost unbelievable. Then later she came to me out of the blue and said to me, "Mrs, Hotlash, I'M NOT!" and jumped up in the air and clicked her heels together.
At first, being out of context of our work, I didn't know what she was talking about and I said, "Not what?"
But the big gleeful smile and the evil laugh that followed made me realize what she was talking about. She is having WAY too much fun at my expense.
I told my mom tonight and now she's freaked out FOR me. Even she commented on how ironic it is though. Another time would have been fantastic! Now, not so much.
OKAY: Report time.
I didn't sleep much at all. :( I did drink plenty of fluids... Nearly three quarts. Most of it was sugar free iced tea drink mix, though I did allow myself a glass of Cherry Pepsi at lumch out with my staff today, but only one 12 oz. glass! That's a habit that could re-form WAY too easily. Since lunch was also a staff meeting and I ran errands for work during my entire split today, I worked 12 hours straight today. I didn't go out of my way to exercise but it was not an exercise day for me either. I can fairly claim two for three for the day.
In Ladder Climbing news:
My second CERT class was tonight. The topic was "small fire suppression". Our fire departments inspector taught our class tonight. We covered all kinds of prevention stuff, more in depth than most talks and lectures I have heard in the past. We talked about how fast fire grows and about the kinds of conditions that can change rapidly during a fire. We covered the importance of the buddy system and that reverting to "Plan A" was always a good option to take. (Plan A is RUN AWAY!) After lots of lecture, lengthy question and answer periods, and a few videos, we were ready to put on our green CERT helmets, goggles and gloves and go practice with the fire extinguishers.
My CERT issued gloves were a joke! I think they would have been too big for my feet, with my shoes ON! When I saw them on Tuesday night I made it a point to make time to go buy gloves that would work better for me. I had a hard time finding leather gloves small enough. I found some that were close but on some parts of the back of the hands there was some kind of "polysomething" fabric. I didn't know if the CERT class instructors would accept them as a substitue for the standard issue "one size fits all" (that doesn't really) gloves. I needent have worried. When my partner and I stepped up to take our turn putting out the fire, the Fire Inspector looked at my gloves as I took the extinguisher from him.
"I see you got some practical gloves! Nice going," he said.
Sadly, we did not get to put out any real fires, though it had been planned that we would at least have flames! They use a computer operated fire machine, for lack of anything better to call it. It creates controlled flames and you spray the extinguisher at the sensors on the side panel of the machine that the flames come out of to simulate sweeping across the base of the fire with the blast from the extinguisher. Unfortunately, while we were inside the classroom, the rain messed with the machine and then the Inspector was not able to ignite the fire. So we put out invisible ones. BORING but probably not any more boring than putting out "fake" fires. Still, I guess it's better to have fake fires than to be called on to put out real ones. I guess! Seems logical anyway. Unless you're a goofball like me who has dreamed of doing just that her whole life. Sigh. (At least my bro lives my dream! -well... Part of it anyway. He isn't a paramedic.)
Last but DEFINITELY not least, I want to wish a BIG WARM WELCOME and THANK YOU to Brian for joining my team and following my blog! I have been enjoying his blog: Switch 2 Plan B: Misadventures of a Firefighter http://www.switch2planb.com/
*Note to Brian: I have to admit I was a little embarrassed at the thought that you joined when my "freaking out" post was the post of the day! But you have a wife. I'm sure you understand. LOL And it really made my day to see you as my new blog follower!
I cannot tell you all enough how much it means to me that you stick with me even through the most boring posts and continue to encourage me and lift me up in prayer the way you do. I feel so blessed to have friends like all of you. Even the ones I have not met. I hope some day to have the pleasure of meeting all of you. I'd give you a great big hug of appreciation, that's for sure!
Stay safe everyone!
Hotflash out.
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