Saturday, October 2, 2010

The long delinquent Hotflash speaks

Hi Team!!

And welcome to my newest team member, Dorothy Williamson! 

I know I have been delinquent a long time.  I have to admit, part of it was laziness, part of it was just busying myself with other stuff and part of it is this funk I've been in since I finished school.  But I don't intend to dwell on any of that here so enough said on it.

Thanks 911R for the nudge to get back in here and update everyone.  This blog was meant to be an accountability tool to keep me reaching for the goal so your nudge is just the right thing for me.  I am not promising weekly posts again for a while though.  There just isn't that much going on to post about.  I do have a few things to talk about now though.

I am way over due to tell you about the National Registry Exam.  I took it on July 16th along with two of my fellow classmates.  We all met at a point along the way then carpooled to the test site.  We were scheduled within 15 minutes of each other to take the exam.  We stopped on the way to have breakfast.  A nice little sit down place near the test site served excellent food for a reasonable price and we ate togther while bantering back and forth nervously wishing to get the exam overwith.

Finally it came time for the exam.  It is done on a computer.  If you answer a question correctly, it gives you a harder one.  If you answer a question incorrectly it will give you an easier one.  There are up to 150 questions but the better you do on the exam the fewer questions you will have to answer.  I had heard the minimum cut off was 70 questions.  And I got cut off at 70!!! :)  And I felt really good about it too.  The test seemed SO much easier that Chief McC's tests!!!  Chief McC and Chief L did a fantastic job preparing us!

Now, knowing I had gotten cut off at the minimum and that I felt good about it still didn't make me confident I had passed.  We called Chief McC. when we were all finished and when he asked us what number we had gotten cut off at we each told him.  When I told him 70 he said, "Well, either you did REALLY, really well or you did really, REALLY poorly."   Inside I knew I had done well but I couldn't buy it until I saw the official results. 

I had been told that in most cases, it took only a day to get results online, but that it could take up to two weeks.  And remember, as I have said before, I am NOT a waiter.  Unfortunately I took the exam on a friday.  But I was also told that the results could post by as early as 4:30 that day.  I left excited and hopeful.
But 4:30 rolled around and the results were not posted.  I remember being very disappointed even though I know it was a long shot.  I checked again before I went to bed, LOL, even though I knew if they were not there at 4:30 they would not be there until, at the very least, the next business day.  To be honest, I checked several times a day throughout the weekend too.  And Monday morning, by which time I was frustrated and having doubts.  I'm such a stewer over things and I don't tend to trust my own abilities when I can't see rapid results, even though I really do know better.  I'm trying not to say I have low self esteem but at times, that is what it is... or maybe it's even less complicated than that... more straight forward... I am afraid to fail!  To me it is like failure (in any way) means the end of the world!    But I really am working on it, so please don't worry about me.   If that was not true about me, I never would have followed through with applying for the EMT program to begin with.

By Monday night I was as anxious as could be.  I was out shopping when I got a call from one of my fellow students about their scores.  Sadly, it was not good news.  And I honestly didn't think the other student had passed either.   (I later found out I was right.)  Finally I got home and settled for the evening and walked over to the computer to check again.  And I passed!!!!!!  Now I am an officially Nationally Registered EMT-B meaning I can sign my name  "Hotflash, NREMT-B"

The next step is to find a sponsor.  I need to find someone who will sign paperwork to lay claim to me and my skills.  Without a sponsor I can not apply with the state to practice what I can do.  As I no doubtably have said before, I want to work for a specific ambulance company. (The fire department would be my dream employer, but I can make some compromises).  The ambulance company I want to work for has the municipal contract and that means that if the call is BLS (basic life support -meaning the ambulance needs only EMT-B level providers), often times the fire department will have them do the transport of patients.  If the call is ALS (advanced life support -for more threatening cases meaning at least one paramedic, aka EMT-P will be providers), but in that case, only if the City Fire Department doesn't feel they have the resources or time to do it, or so it seems.


I am sorry I never sent it out and never finished it.   I am still in quite the funk.. personal / marriage problems have confounded my depression.. YES I've said it finally.. my depression is back :(  with a vengeance. but I have not lost hope that i can beat it again.

I want to thank 911r for never giving up on me.... she messages me occasionally to say she misses me and to see if I am okay.  What an AWESOME friend I have!

I started this blog as an accountability thing.. to keep myself working towards the goals....

It helped me for a long time to do just that but a tool is only as good as the skill of the person yielding it. and I have not used my skills at making this work for a while now.  I am not promising to be here often yet.. I don't have the energy or desire to write much lately.. but I will try to check in sometimes and let you know how I'm doing.   

Thanks to all my wonderful friends and my family for the love they show me... Coach Alex is the bestest friend I ever had and I love her very much!   And 911r you are absolutely AMAZING to me.  And all of you have been good to me.  Thanks.

Love and hugs from me... stay safe!

Hotflash out.. but only until next time! :)
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