Sunday, March 14, 2010

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 174 and 175

Hi Team!


I am feeling much less freaked out and more calm today.  On my way to work this morning I laid everything on the alter.  I told God how I felt about this whole thing.  I admitted selfishness in that I really want to pursue this dream of mine and I am not eager to give it up.  But I love God and I know He loves me and wants what is best for me.  I realize what amazing obstacles have already been overcome to get as far as I have and I still feel in my heart that He has directed every step of the way.  Then I thought about some of my recent words.
"Nothing is going to stop me."  "I'm not going to give this up for anything."  "I'm going to have my cake and eat it too." And the list goes on.  Things I said to keep myself motivated, but also prideful things.  I realized that living this dream is my Isaac.    And I prayed God would forgive me for putting it first above all else.  I had been cautioned against this by my friend Gigahertz and still I let it happen.  I prayed that God would take my life and use it for His will.  That he would use it to glorify Him.  I told him I would give it all up if that is what He asked of me and I prayed that if I should have to He would fill my heart with gladness and fulfillment in His will.  I prayed many more things on the way to work that morning.  Finally, I find I am at peace. 

I still don't know if I am pregnant or not, though I suspect not.  I have taken two tests and both have come back negative.  However, I have not had any corroborating evidence.  I still don't like not knowing.  But I am not freaking out. 

To those of you who have been sending me well wishes and offering prayers on my behalf, I thank you so much. 

OKAY, report time!

I slept fairly well last night, surprisingly.  I guess when one gets tired enough that will happen.  By the time my morning shift ended however, I was feeling pretty tired and run down.  Again, I only showed up for my walk with Coach Alex because I didn't want to be "disciplined" for not doing so.  LOL  (Because Coach Alex is SOOOOO scary!)  Seriously though, I was glad I went, as I always am.  And Coach rewarded me with a white chocolate dark cherry mocha.  Mmmmmmm!  Besides the coffee, I had two quarts and 12 oz. of watered down juice today.  That puts me at three for three!  YAY ME!


I slept VERY well last night.  :) =D  =)    Today I drank well over three quarts of fluids but they were not all good ones.  There was about one quart of water, one and a half quarts of iced tea, 8 oz. of dark beer (left over from cooking for my potluck), some juice and lots of punch (consisiting of lime juice, 7-up and strawberry-kiwi sherbet) at the potluck.  I was as acive as I usually am for a Saturday which isn't terribly, but I have done everything I am supposed to do so I am saying three for three today.

It was a day of running for me.  First I took my mom and step dad to the train station so they could go to band camp.  Mom plays tenor sax and Pop plays barry.  Mr Flash and I got them all settled at the train station and then went to take my Explorer in for a recall issue.  (of course they called it a courtesy repair, not a recall).  As we pulled out of the dealership in my husband's truck my cell phone rang.  It was my mom all upset that they had forgotten her walker.  My mom needed the walker to be able to move around on the train and she even uses it most of the time at home.  Luckily she has made an excellent choice and had arrived at the train station nearly an hour early.  My husband and I scrambled to get to the train station, pick up Pop, take him back to the house for the walker and a few other things he wanted to look for and we got him back just in time to board.

Next we drove to the fire training center so I could show my husband where it is.  Our next CERT class is being held there and we both will be arriving in separated vehicles straight  from work.  After that we had to do some grocery shopping.  UHG!

By the time we finished all of the running around, we had barely time enought to change clothes and run out again to go to a party!  the Fire Buff Battalion St. Patty's Potluck.  We got home around 9:30 pm but since we lost an hour, we counted it as 10:30 and hit the sack.

Stay safe, my friends!

Hotflash out.