Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 125

Hi Team.

Sorry no exclamation point, it has been a rough day.  It started out well.  Coach Alex and I did get our walk, our butts have officially fallen off!  (Well, we can wish, can't we?)  We got to walk outside today! YAY US!!  I SO needed the sunshine and fresh air, it was great!  Sadly we had one small casualty though.  Coach's hubby, John joined us today and was rudely attacked by the curb which threw him to the ground, banging up his knee pretty well.  (OUCH!)  Kinda takes the reward out of walking, doesn't it? :(  We got him seated inside the mall with his knee elevated and rounded up a bag of ice for it as he insisted we continue our walk.  He seems to be moving around okay for now.  I bet tomorrow's gonna be pretty tough though.  Say a prayer for him, please.

Before I forget, I got plenty of sleep last night and I have had about 2 1/2 quarts of fluids today so I am 3 for three. 

It got a little rougher after that.  My stomach decided to revolt and I have been dealing wtih digestive issues all day.  Good thing I did not have to work today and could stay close to the necessary facilities.  I spent some time writing my "fan fiction" story which was good because I haven't written for a couple of weeks.  I had really bad writer's block.  I was glad to post another chapter.  And I discovered that my friend (that I met through the writing web site I go to) finally joined facebook so I can keep up with her a little better and she can see all my pictures now!  YAY!  She has been a tremendous encouragement on this journey but does not have regular internet access and therefore does not follow this blog.  She still ROCKS though!

It got even rougher this evening.  I was sitting at the computer getting ready to post my chapter when I got a text.  It was my brother's facebook status.  This is what it said:

"(my brother's name) lost his last grandfather today."

I was shocked and dumbfounded and horrified to read it.  Then I was angry to have read it.  THen I lost it and cried like a baby.  Then I called my mom because I didn't want her to find out from facebook.  Upon calling her I found out that she had called my brother and told him.  Not me.  She said she knew I came home from work late so she hadn't called me yet but was about to.  It was 7:23 when I talked to her.  I get home around 7 so that made sense.  Except I didn't work today.  And finding out from a text really sucked!  I am not mad at anyone, it was not intentional, it just happened and it really sucks.  I know my bro will be horrified when he finds out that I found out that way and I hope he will not think that I took it personally.  I hope he will not kick himself because he really thought I already knew.  While talking to my mom I made sure that she would call my sister in Omaha and I called our other sister in Portland and made sure her grown daughter knew too so that they would not find out through facebook.

I am deeply saddened by the loss of Grandpa.  He is the one I spoke of in an earlier post, the one I saw two weeks ago.  I never imagined he would go now.  I thought he was doing surprisingly well and had a few more years left in him.  I am thankful to have seen him and to have at least said goodbye, even if I didn't realize it was for good.  God is amazing and faithful and so loving.  Yesterday at church, a young woman came up to me and said, "Last night I could not sleep even though I was really tired.  I prayed and God told me to pray for you so I prayed that he would lift you up and show himself to be very real to you." (My tears just started flowing again).  He loves me so much he had me lifted in prayer before the news came!  That ais so special and so overwhelming!

15 years or more ago, my grandpa died.  He was revived miraculously but he remembered being dead.  He told us he went to hell and that he hadn't even believed in hell before that.  He said he went there and it was awful and he was frightened.  I do not know if Grandpa ever gave his life to the Lord after that, but I pray that he did.  He was a good, loving and compassionate man and I hope that he gets to spend eternity with our Lord and that I will see him again. Not knowing is hard, but I have to trust that God will not let me think about that and worry about it because it is too late to change it now.  I talked to Grandpa a few times about God and being saved but I just don't know what he finally decided.  I just hope he is in the big firehouse in the sky shooting the breeze with the firemen and family that have gone before him.

Please forgive me if the next week or so is sporadic as far as posting goes.  I will try to be on it because it is good for me but I don't know what this week holds and how strong I will be.  I am too sad right now to think about anything more than the moment I am in. 

Thanks for all the support you all have been to me and that I know you will continue to be.  I feel blessed to have such good friends.  Take care and stay safe.

Hotflash out.