Hi Team!
(March 17-22)
Wow, have I gotten behind or what?! My life is picking up speed and I am finding it harder and harder to sit down and get my blog done. And the sad thing is that it isn't because I'm avoiding it. I like my blog. I think personally that it can get to be on the boring side when it is all accountability report and no anecdotes to go with it, but I love the the feedback and encouragement I get from blogging. And when I do have stories to tell it is really fun to tell them. The problem is simply that there are not enough hours in a day or days in a week to do all the things I want to do.
Why am I rambling about all of this? Well, it is because it is high time that I find a solution to the problem.
I could, of course, just stop doing some of the things I do to make more time for others. Actually, I already have. I could blog less often. I've done that too. It isn't going so well because by the time I get to it, I have forgotten details of the very things I am hoping my team will hold me accountable for. I could stop blogging all together. I don't want to. I have made some nice friends here and, as I said before, I appreciate the comments and encouragement I find here.
Those are the only ideas I came up with, save for one. What is that, you ask? Okay, so maybe you didn't ask but I'm going to tell you anyway. The ony solution I can come up with is to revamp this blog. I don't have all the details yet, but I am thinking of blogging weekly, (on the weekends) reporting on my progress with keeping active, drinking enough fluids and getting enough sleep. (well, more sleep than I used to anyway. I am not sure I will EVER get to the point that I get enough sleep!) It would be a general weekly rating instead of my daily three for three. I give details of how much I drank, just the number of days I met or exceeded the goal. Same for exercise and sleep. Then I will try to tell something about my week in each blog. That should be easy now. I have this week to finish up my CERT training. I am sure there will be something interesting to talk about from that. Then next week on Monday EMT school starts.
OMG! I can't belive it is almost here! That sure creeped up on me fast! And CERT classes made me realize I am probably overdue for my second hepB shot. I wonder if that means I have to start over? UGH! I hope not! Oops, that wasn't what I intended to write about. Back at the ranch....
I hope that I will have the basic format figured out in my head by this weekend. I probably will not blog again until then. I hope that isn't too disappointing for you, my loyal team. I need your support and encouragement as much as ever and I want you to know I truly appreciate it. You have been faithful followers and I doubt I would be where I am without you all gently kicking me in the backside from time to time.
Feel free to leave input as to what you would like to see here. I don't want to make this a chore for you to read as I fear it has been too often already. If you like seeing certain things here or have questions, please let me know. I do like to talk. I just don't always know what to say!
I will write at you all later!
Stay safe!
Hotflash out.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 176 and 177
Hi Team!
As you saw by my pre-post, I am very happy to announce that I am NOT pregnant! The thought of being pregnant at 41, having a kid graduating high school when I'm 60 and kissing my last shot at my dream goodbye had stressed me greatly. Although, after I laid it on the alter, I really started to feel at peace with the possibility. I knew I would be sad to let go of the dream yet, I started to think it wouldn't be so bad. And then when I found out for sure I was not, and I told my husband, I really had a flood of mixed emotions. He said to me, "Well, you were the only one who was worried. I wouldn't have minded."
o_0
For years I wanted another, and he never seemed concerned when we didn't get pregnant. Now he's the one feeling sad? Wow. I never knew he felt that way. And now I just want to hug him non-stop and tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am for the disappointment. Not that I personally disappointed him, but I am feeling sad for the loss of what could have been for him. Does that make any sense?
Well, thanks for letting me just ramble about it a bit. I feel a little better.
Monday I did not want to go, again, to work out. I have been having real issues about just getting there lately. I felt very tired and ill. I went any way. (Because Coach Alex doesn't like it very much when I cancel!) Although I only walked two of the three miles we planned to walk, I was glad that I went. Alex just happily chatters away while we walk and I occasionally throw a word or two in of my own. This time she was talking about a lesson she learned when she went to see TD Jakes on Friday night. And the message was very uplifting to her. It was uplifting to me in her re-telling. God is so good. He always sends the encouragement I need just when I need it. Sometimes it is something from His word. Sometimes it is a call from a friend I haven't seen in a while. Or a new team member for my blog. Or any number of things. Every day I feel His blessings upon me and I am very thankful.
Not only did I work out, but I drank all the fluids I set out to drink for the day. 2 1/2 quarts of water and iced tea. Lately, it has been an effort to get the fluids down too. Maybe the stress of my busy schedule and anxiety about school is affecting me worse than I thought. No matter, I have a strong desire to succeed and a good support system.
I also slept well last night. I don't remember waking up at all. But even though I slept through the night, I am very tired. That is probably due to trying to adjust to daylight savings time more than anything else. In any case, I had a three for three kind of day. Yay me!
All in all, it was a really good day.
Tuesday
Report first: Slept well, drank 3 quarts today and was as active as possible at work. It was not a scheduled work out day so I score three for three. Yay me!
In CERT class tonight, we started Disaster Medical Operations. Our class tonight was taught by a 25 year veteran paramedic from our town's fire department. She was funny and fun to learn from. We had been warned ahead of time not to volunteer for anything. We didn't have to. She never asked for volunteers, she chose victims. And I got to be the one she demonstrated pressure bandaging on. She was built as solidly as they come but definitely the size of a woman. Except for her hands! They were giant MAN sized hands and that woman could grip! Somehow she gripped the gaping arterial wound in my arm with one hand as she showed how to wrap it and apply pressure at the same time. Even before she wrapped my arm, I felt my hand start to throb. Then she wrapped it expertly and tied it in a tight little bow, on the first try without catching her fingers in the bow, with two pairs of nitrile gloves on. And she made it look simple. And for her, it WAS simple. Then she continues holding my hand up showing off her handy work and talking about the technique. She looked like she might untie it at one point but then I swear I saw an evil grin cross her lips as she stepped away from me and continued to lecture the class. Then she'd step back and look and talk some more. She was pleased to see a good vein in my arm and announced she could easily get a 14 guage in there. NO THANKS! I didn't sign up for that. She let out an evil laugh when I declined. Then she walked away and continued talking again. My hand started to look a little ashen in color. My hand and fingers were throbbing. I swore anyone could see it if they glanced my way. She kept stealing glances at me. I was waiting her out knowing it was a test and she was waiting me out, knowing she would win. Finally I could stand it no longer and tried to non-chalantly untie it. She stopped talking mid-sentence to ask me why I was taking it off so soon. And then gave that evil smile again. I think she likes me.
Later, when we had learned how to triage, she sent a third of the class out while the rest of us were given assignments as vicitms. Oddly I had another arterial bleed. This time in my other arm on the upper part. I was propped up agains the legs of a table, underneath the table for cover. We had just had a terrible earthquake. I was in the center of the room. As I screamed about the spurting bright red blood I waited for somebody to help me. I freaked out because it was shooting across the room and I knew I was going to die and I just couldn't stop the blood. Still it was five minutes before anyone looked at me. She was very nervous and she tied my pressure bandage on me as she talked trying to calm me down. She was so nervous that she tied it underneath the wound. And she asked me if I had children to distract me from asking questions about the blood. I told her I had a 17 year old son then started to freak out because I didnt' know where he was. She didn't know what to do. I felt sorry for her. I wasn't a nice victim. Finally I felt sorry for her (really I was just feeling glad to be a victim rather than a rescuer!) and I pretended she calmed me down. I should have been dead by then anyway, right?
My turn is coming. Next time I will be the nervous rescuer. I can't wait to find out what I won't remember. In fact, with all we covered last night, all I could think about on the way home was how much there is to learn and how little capacity my brain seems to have available. And this is the tip of the iceberg. EMT school is less than two weeks away. Oh BOY!
Thursday night we will cover Disaster Medical Operations, part two. I'm nervous but looking forward to it. If nothing else, when I graduate from CERT I will have learned a few skills and will have had some wonderful networking opportunities at the very least. I am hoping for more than that. I am hoping to feel comfortable practicing my new skills and I hope to feel more confident that I am ready for a true emergency and ready to help. God help me. Even though this is strictly voluntary, it is a big responsibility. I want to rise to it and do it right.
Stay safe, team!
Hotflash out.
As you saw by my pre-post, I am very happy to announce that I am NOT pregnant! The thought of being pregnant at 41, having a kid graduating high school when I'm 60 and kissing my last shot at my dream goodbye had stressed me greatly. Although, after I laid it on the alter, I really started to feel at peace with the possibility. I knew I would be sad to let go of the dream yet, I started to think it wouldn't be so bad. And then when I found out for sure I was not, and I told my husband, I really had a flood of mixed emotions. He said to me, "Well, you were the only one who was worried. I wouldn't have minded."
o_0
For years I wanted another, and he never seemed concerned when we didn't get pregnant. Now he's the one feeling sad? Wow. I never knew he felt that way. And now I just want to hug him non-stop and tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am for the disappointment. Not that I personally disappointed him, but I am feeling sad for the loss of what could have been for him. Does that make any sense?
Well, thanks for letting me just ramble about it a bit. I feel a little better.
Monday I did not want to go, again, to work out. I have been having real issues about just getting there lately. I felt very tired and ill. I went any way. (Because Coach Alex doesn't like it very much when I cancel!) Although I only walked two of the three miles we planned to walk, I was glad that I went. Alex just happily chatters away while we walk and I occasionally throw a word or two in of my own. This time she was talking about a lesson she learned when she went to see TD Jakes on Friday night. And the message was very uplifting to her. It was uplifting to me in her re-telling. God is so good. He always sends the encouragement I need just when I need it. Sometimes it is something from His word. Sometimes it is a call from a friend I haven't seen in a while. Or a new team member for my blog. Or any number of things. Every day I feel His blessings upon me and I am very thankful.
Not only did I work out, but I drank all the fluids I set out to drink for the day. 2 1/2 quarts of water and iced tea. Lately, it has been an effort to get the fluids down too. Maybe the stress of my busy schedule and anxiety about school is affecting me worse than I thought. No matter, I have a strong desire to succeed and a good support system.
I also slept well last night. I don't remember waking up at all. But even though I slept through the night, I am very tired. That is probably due to trying to adjust to daylight savings time more than anything else. In any case, I had a three for three kind of day. Yay me!
All in all, it was a really good day.
Tuesday
Report first: Slept well, drank 3 quarts today and was as active as possible at work. It was not a scheduled work out day so I score three for three. Yay me!
In CERT class tonight, we started Disaster Medical Operations. Our class tonight was taught by a 25 year veteran paramedic from our town's fire department. She was funny and fun to learn from. We had been warned ahead of time not to volunteer for anything. We didn't have to. She never asked for volunteers, she chose victims. And I got to be the one she demonstrated pressure bandaging on. She was built as solidly as they come but definitely the size of a woman. Except for her hands! They were giant MAN sized hands and that woman could grip! Somehow she gripped the gaping arterial wound in my arm with one hand as she showed how to wrap it and apply pressure at the same time. Even before she wrapped my arm, I felt my hand start to throb. Then she wrapped it expertly and tied it in a tight little bow, on the first try without catching her fingers in the bow, with two pairs of nitrile gloves on. And she made it look simple. And for her, it WAS simple. Then she continues holding my hand up showing off her handy work and talking about the technique. She looked like she might untie it at one point but then I swear I saw an evil grin cross her lips as she stepped away from me and continued to lecture the class. Then she'd step back and look and talk some more. She was pleased to see a good vein in my arm and announced she could easily get a 14 guage in there. NO THANKS! I didn't sign up for that. She let out an evil laugh when I declined. Then she walked away and continued talking again. My hand started to look a little ashen in color. My hand and fingers were throbbing. I swore anyone could see it if they glanced my way. She kept stealing glances at me. I was waiting her out knowing it was a test and she was waiting me out, knowing she would win. Finally I could stand it no longer and tried to non-chalantly untie it. She stopped talking mid-sentence to ask me why I was taking it off so soon. And then gave that evil smile again. I think she likes me.
Later, when we had learned how to triage, she sent a third of the class out while the rest of us were given assignments as vicitms. Oddly I had another arterial bleed. This time in my other arm on the upper part. I was propped up agains the legs of a table, underneath the table for cover. We had just had a terrible earthquake. I was in the center of the room. As I screamed about the spurting bright red blood I waited for somebody to help me. I freaked out because it was shooting across the room and I knew I was going to die and I just couldn't stop the blood. Still it was five minutes before anyone looked at me. She was very nervous and she tied my pressure bandage on me as she talked trying to calm me down. She was so nervous that she tied it underneath the wound. And she asked me if I had children to distract me from asking questions about the blood. I told her I had a 17 year old son then started to freak out because I didnt' know where he was. She didn't know what to do. I felt sorry for her. I wasn't a nice victim. Finally I felt sorry for her (really I was just feeling glad to be a victim rather than a rescuer!) and I pretended she calmed me down. I should have been dead by then anyway, right?
My turn is coming. Next time I will be the nervous rescuer. I can't wait to find out what I won't remember. In fact, with all we covered last night, all I could think about on the way home was how much there is to learn and how little capacity my brain seems to have available. And this is the tip of the iceberg. EMT school is less than two weeks away. Oh BOY!
Thursday night we will cover Disaster Medical Operations, part two. I'm nervous but looking forward to it. If nothing else, when I graduate from CERT I will have learned a few skills and will have had some wonderful networking opportunities at the very least. I am hoping for more than that. I am hoping to feel comfortable practicing my new skills and I hope to feel more confident that I am ready for a true emergency and ready to help. God help me. Even though this is strictly voluntary, it is a big responsibility. I want to rise to it and do it right.
Stay safe, team!
Hotflash out.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 176 (Pre-post)
Hi Team!
Guess what???
. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:) :) :) :) :) :)
Now I am a happy camper!
Stay safe!
Hotflash out.
Guess what???
. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:) :) :) :) :) :)
Now I am a happy camper!
Stay safe!
Hotflash out.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 174 and 175
Hi Team!
Friday
I am feeling much less freaked out and more calm today. On my way to work this morning I laid everything on the alter. I told God how I felt about this whole thing. I admitted selfishness in that I really want to pursue this dream of mine and I am not eager to give it up. But I love God and I know He loves me and wants what is best for me. I realize what amazing obstacles have already been overcome to get as far as I have and I still feel in my heart that He has directed every step of the way. Then I thought about some of my recent words.
"Nothing is going to stop me." "I'm not going to give this up for anything." "I'm going to have my cake and eat it too." And the list goes on. Things I said to keep myself motivated, but also prideful things. I realized that living this dream is my Isaac. And I prayed God would forgive me for putting it first above all else. I had been cautioned against this by my friend Gigahertz and still I let it happen. I prayed that God would take my life and use it for His will. That he would use it to glorify Him. I told him I would give it all up if that is what He asked of me and I prayed that if I should have to He would fill my heart with gladness and fulfillment in His will. I prayed many more things on the way to work that morning. Finally, I find I am at peace.
I still don't know if I am pregnant or not, though I suspect not. I have taken two tests and both have come back negative. However, I have not had any corroborating evidence. I still don't like not knowing. But I am not freaking out.
To those of you who have been sending me well wishes and offering prayers on my behalf, I thank you so much.
OKAY, report time!
I slept fairly well last night, surprisingly. I guess when one gets tired enough that will happen. By the time my morning shift ended however, I was feeling pretty tired and run down. Again, I only showed up for my walk with Coach Alex because I didn't want to be "disciplined" for not doing so. LOL (Because Coach Alex is SOOOOO scary!) Seriously though, I was glad I went, as I always am. And Coach rewarded me with a white chocolate dark cherry mocha. Mmmmmmm! Besides the coffee, I had two quarts and 12 oz. of watered down juice today. That puts me at three for three! YAY ME!
Saturday
I slept VERY well last night. :) =D =) Today I drank well over three quarts of fluids but they were not all good ones. There was about one quart of water, one and a half quarts of iced tea, 8 oz. of dark beer (left over from cooking for my potluck), some juice and lots of punch (consisiting of lime juice, 7-up and strawberry-kiwi sherbet) at the potluck. I was as acive as I usually am for a Saturday which isn't terribly, but I have done everything I am supposed to do so I am saying three for three today.
It was a day of running for me. First I took my mom and step dad to the train station so they could go to band camp. Mom plays tenor sax and Pop plays barry. Mr Flash and I got them all settled at the train station and then went to take my Explorer in for a recall issue. (of course they called it a courtesy repair, not a recall). As we pulled out of the dealership in my husband's truck my cell phone rang. It was my mom all upset that they had forgotten her walker. My mom needed the walker to be able to move around on the train and she even uses it most of the time at home. Luckily she has made an excellent choice and had arrived at the train station nearly an hour early. My husband and I scrambled to get to the train station, pick up Pop, take him back to the house for the walker and a few other things he wanted to look for and we got him back just in time to board.
Next we drove to the fire training center so I could show my husband where it is. Our next CERT class is being held there and we both will be arriving in separated vehicles straight from work. After that we had to do some grocery shopping. UHG!
By the time we finished all of the running around, we had barely time enought to change clothes and run out again to go to a party! the Fire Buff Battalion St. Patty's Potluck. We got home around 9:30 pm but since we lost an hour, we counted it as 10:30 and hit the sack.
Stay safe, my friends!
Hotflash out.
Friday
I am feeling much less freaked out and more calm today. On my way to work this morning I laid everything on the alter. I told God how I felt about this whole thing. I admitted selfishness in that I really want to pursue this dream of mine and I am not eager to give it up. But I love God and I know He loves me and wants what is best for me. I realize what amazing obstacles have already been overcome to get as far as I have and I still feel in my heart that He has directed every step of the way. Then I thought about some of my recent words.
"Nothing is going to stop me." "I'm not going to give this up for anything." "I'm going to have my cake and eat it too." And the list goes on. Things I said to keep myself motivated, but also prideful things. I realized that living this dream is my Isaac. And I prayed God would forgive me for putting it first above all else. I had been cautioned against this by my friend Gigahertz and still I let it happen. I prayed that God would take my life and use it for His will. That he would use it to glorify Him. I told him I would give it all up if that is what He asked of me and I prayed that if I should have to He would fill my heart with gladness and fulfillment in His will. I prayed many more things on the way to work that morning. Finally, I find I am at peace.
I still don't know if I am pregnant or not, though I suspect not. I have taken two tests and both have come back negative. However, I have not had any corroborating evidence. I still don't like not knowing. But I am not freaking out.
To those of you who have been sending me well wishes and offering prayers on my behalf, I thank you so much.
OKAY, report time!
I slept fairly well last night, surprisingly. I guess when one gets tired enough that will happen. By the time my morning shift ended however, I was feeling pretty tired and run down. Again, I only showed up for my walk with Coach Alex because I didn't want to be "disciplined" for not doing so. LOL (Because Coach Alex is SOOOOO scary!) Seriously though, I was glad I went, as I always am. And Coach rewarded me with a white chocolate dark cherry mocha. Mmmmmmm! Besides the coffee, I had two quarts and 12 oz. of watered down juice today. That puts me at three for three! YAY ME!
Saturday
I slept VERY well last night. :) =D =) Today I drank well over three quarts of fluids but they were not all good ones. There was about one quart of water, one and a half quarts of iced tea, 8 oz. of dark beer (left over from cooking for my potluck), some juice and lots of punch (consisiting of lime juice, 7-up and strawberry-kiwi sherbet) at the potluck. I was as acive as I usually am for a Saturday which isn't terribly, but I have done everything I am supposed to do so I am saying three for three today.
It was a day of running for me. First I took my mom and step dad to the train station so they could go to band camp. Mom plays tenor sax and Pop plays barry. Mr Flash and I got them all settled at the train station and then went to take my Explorer in for a recall issue. (of course they called it a courtesy repair, not a recall). As we pulled out of the dealership in my husband's truck my cell phone rang. It was my mom all upset that they had forgotten her walker. My mom needed the walker to be able to move around on the train and she even uses it most of the time at home. Luckily she has made an excellent choice and had arrived at the train station nearly an hour early. My husband and I scrambled to get to the train station, pick up Pop, take him back to the house for the walker and a few other things he wanted to look for and we got him back just in time to board.
Next we drove to the fire training center so I could show my husband where it is. Our next CERT class is being held there and we both will be arriving in separated vehicles straight from work. After that we had to do some grocery shopping. UHG!
By the time we finished all of the running around, we had barely time enought to change clothes and run out again to go to a party! the Fire Buff Battalion St. Patty's Potluck. We got home around 9:30 pm but since we lost an hour, we counted it as 10:30 and hit the sack.
Stay safe, my friends!
Hotflash out.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Report from Ladder Company 40 Day 173
Hi Team. (No explanation point, sorry)
I am still very freaked out. A little more calm but still freaked out. I know I should not be when I don't have any evidence one way or the other, but it's easier to know that than to practice it. I keep thinking about it. My kids would be 18 years apart. I'd be sixty when my kiddo was ready to graduate. I guess that is one way to ward of empty nest syndrome. Sigh. I just feel like if that happens, I'll have to kiss my dream goodbye again. And it won't be revived after that. I'm pushing it now. I think I've gone from panicky to feeling very low.
I told my husband. He took it like I knew he would. He stayed very calm and didn't appear the least bit concerned. He said I shouldn't stress it until I knew something. I said that I knew that. Then he started to get on my case about "why are you stressing then?" I had to explain to him what I just said in the first paragraph of this post. It's easy to know when you're being irrational. It's not so easy to change the feelings that go with it.
Those closest to me who know what I am going through are having a wonderful time of it. The evil laugh of my assistant when I told her was almost unbelievable. Then later she came to me out of the blue and said to me, "Mrs, Hotlash, I'M NOT!" and jumped up in the air and clicked her heels together.
At first, being out of context of our work, I didn't know what she was talking about and I said, "Not what?"
But the big gleeful smile and the evil laugh that followed made me realize what she was talking about. She is having WAY too much fun at my expense.
I told my mom tonight and now she's freaked out FOR me. Even she commented on how ironic it is though. Another time would have been fantastic! Now, not so much.
OKAY: Report time.
I didn't sleep much at all. :( I did drink plenty of fluids... Nearly three quarts. Most of it was sugar free iced tea drink mix, though I did allow myself a glass of Cherry Pepsi at lumch out with my staff today, but only one 12 oz. glass! That's a habit that could re-form WAY too easily. Since lunch was also a staff meeting and I ran errands for work during my entire split today, I worked 12 hours straight today. I didn't go out of my way to exercise but it was not an exercise day for me either. I can fairly claim two for three for the day.
In Ladder Climbing news:
My second CERT class was tonight. The topic was "small fire suppression". Our fire departments inspector taught our class tonight. We covered all kinds of prevention stuff, more in depth than most talks and lectures I have heard in the past. We talked about how fast fire grows and about the kinds of conditions that can change rapidly during a fire. We covered the importance of the buddy system and that reverting to "Plan A" was always a good option to take. (Plan A is RUN AWAY!) After lots of lecture, lengthy question and answer periods, and a few videos, we were ready to put on our green CERT helmets, goggles and gloves and go practice with the fire extinguishers.
My CERT issued gloves were a joke! I think they would have been too big for my feet, with my shoes ON! When I saw them on Tuesday night I made it a point to make time to go buy gloves that would work better for me. I had a hard time finding leather gloves small enough. I found some that were close but on some parts of the back of the hands there was some kind of "polysomething" fabric. I didn't know if the CERT class instructors would accept them as a substitue for the standard issue "one size fits all" (that doesn't really) gloves. I needent have worried. When my partner and I stepped up to take our turn putting out the fire, the Fire Inspector looked at my gloves as I took the extinguisher from him.
"I see you got some practical gloves! Nice going," he said.
Sadly, we did not get to put out any real fires, though it had been planned that we would at least have flames! They use a computer operated fire machine, for lack of anything better to call it. It creates controlled flames and you spray the extinguisher at the sensors on the side panel of the machine that the flames come out of to simulate sweeping across the base of the fire with the blast from the extinguisher. Unfortunately, while we were inside the classroom, the rain messed with the machine and then the Inspector was not able to ignite the fire. So we put out invisible ones. BORING but probably not any more boring than putting out "fake" fires. Still, I guess it's better to have fake fires than to be called on to put out real ones. I guess! Seems logical anyway. Unless you're a goofball like me who has dreamed of doing just that her whole life. Sigh. (At least my bro lives my dream! -well... Part of it anyway. He isn't a paramedic.)
Last but DEFINITELY not least, I want to wish a BIG WARM WELCOME and THANK YOU to Brian for joining my team and following my blog! I have been enjoying his blog: Switch 2 Plan B: Misadventures of a Firefighter http://www.switch2planb.com/
*Note to Brian: I have to admit I was a little embarrassed at the thought that you joined when my "freaking out" post was the post of the day! But you have a wife. I'm sure you understand. LOL And it really made my day to see you as my new blog follower!
I cannot tell you all enough how much it means to me that you stick with me even through the most boring posts and continue to encourage me and lift me up in prayer the way you do. I feel so blessed to have friends like all of you. Even the ones I have not met. I hope some day to have the pleasure of meeting all of you. I'd give you a great big hug of appreciation, that's for sure!
Stay safe everyone!
Hotflash out.
I am still very freaked out. A little more calm but still freaked out. I know I should not be when I don't have any evidence one way or the other, but it's easier to know that than to practice it. I keep thinking about it. My kids would be 18 years apart. I'd be sixty when my kiddo was ready to graduate. I guess that is one way to ward of empty nest syndrome. Sigh. I just feel like if that happens, I'll have to kiss my dream goodbye again. And it won't be revived after that. I'm pushing it now. I think I've gone from panicky to feeling very low.
I told my husband. He took it like I knew he would. He stayed very calm and didn't appear the least bit concerned. He said I shouldn't stress it until I knew something. I said that I knew that. Then he started to get on my case about "why are you stressing then?" I had to explain to him what I just said in the first paragraph of this post. It's easy to know when you're being irrational. It's not so easy to change the feelings that go with it.
Those closest to me who know what I am going through are having a wonderful time of it. The evil laugh of my assistant when I told her was almost unbelievable. Then later she came to me out of the blue and said to me, "Mrs, Hotlash, I'M NOT!" and jumped up in the air and clicked her heels together.
At first, being out of context of our work, I didn't know what she was talking about and I said, "Not what?"
But the big gleeful smile and the evil laugh that followed made me realize what she was talking about. She is having WAY too much fun at my expense.
I told my mom tonight and now she's freaked out FOR me. Even she commented on how ironic it is though. Another time would have been fantastic! Now, not so much.
OKAY: Report time.
I didn't sleep much at all. :( I did drink plenty of fluids... Nearly three quarts. Most of it was sugar free iced tea drink mix, though I did allow myself a glass of Cherry Pepsi at lumch out with my staff today, but only one 12 oz. glass! That's a habit that could re-form WAY too easily. Since lunch was also a staff meeting and I ran errands for work during my entire split today, I worked 12 hours straight today. I didn't go out of my way to exercise but it was not an exercise day for me either. I can fairly claim two for three for the day.
In Ladder Climbing news:
My second CERT class was tonight. The topic was "small fire suppression". Our fire departments inspector taught our class tonight. We covered all kinds of prevention stuff, more in depth than most talks and lectures I have heard in the past. We talked about how fast fire grows and about the kinds of conditions that can change rapidly during a fire. We covered the importance of the buddy system and that reverting to "Plan A" was always a good option to take. (Plan A is RUN AWAY!) After lots of lecture, lengthy question and answer periods, and a few videos, we were ready to put on our green CERT helmets, goggles and gloves and go practice with the fire extinguishers.
My CERT issued gloves were a joke! I think they would have been too big for my feet, with my shoes ON! When I saw them on Tuesday night I made it a point to make time to go buy gloves that would work better for me. I had a hard time finding leather gloves small enough. I found some that were close but on some parts of the back of the hands there was some kind of "polysomething" fabric. I didn't know if the CERT class instructors would accept them as a substitue for the standard issue "one size fits all" (that doesn't really) gloves. I needent have worried. When my partner and I stepped up to take our turn putting out the fire, the Fire Inspector looked at my gloves as I took the extinguisher from him.
"I see you got some practical gloves! Nice going," he said.
Sadly, we did not get to put out any real fires, though it had been planned that we would at least have flames! They use a computer operated fire machine, for lack of anything better to call it. It creates controlled flames and you spray the extinguisher at the sensors on the side panel of the machine that the flames come out of to simulate sweeping across the base of the fire with the blast from the extinguisher. Unfortunately, while we were inside the classroom, the rain messed with the machine and then the Inspector was not able to ignite the fire. So we put out invisible ones. BORING but probably not any more boring than putting out "fake" fires. Still, I guess it's better to have fake fires than to be called on to put out real ones. I guess! Seems logical anyway. Unless you're a goofball like me who has dreamed of doing just that her whole life. Sigh. (At least my bro lives my dream! -well... Part of it anyway. He isn't a paramedic.)
Last but DEFINITELY not least, I want to wish a BIG WARM WELCOME and THANK YOU to Brian for joining my team and following my blog! I have been enjoying his blog: Switch 2 Plan B: Misadventures of a Firefighter http://www.switch2planb.com/
*Note to Brian: I have to admit I was a little embarrassed at the thought that you joined when my "freaking out" post was the post of the day! But you have a wife. I'm sure you understand. LOL And it really made my day to see you as my new blog follower!
I cannot tell you all enough how much it means to me that you stick with me even through the most boring posts and continue to encourage me and lift me up in prayer the way you do. I feel so blessed to have friends like all of you. Even the ones I have not met. I hope some day to have the pleasure of meeting all of you. I'd give you a great big hug of appreciation, that's for sure!
Stay safe everyone!
Hotflash out.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 172
Hi Team!
Wednesday
I am feeling crappy still though the nausea seems to have passed. OMG!! as I write this I realize that many of my recent symptoms are reminiscent of... AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! NO it CAN't BE>>> I am NOT pregnant! But I have been way tired lately. And I am peeing a lot. I mean often but not a lot at all. YIKES!! I better not be late! As if I can judge that. I haven't been regular in three years! OMG OMG OMG!!! I'm really scared!!! That would SO suck!!! Just this past weekend I saw a mom with a teeny tiny infant and said, "Oh, I want one of those..." then shocked myself when I quickly said, "But not to keep!" I was just thinking I had finally passed a major milestone in my life. OMG!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!
OK, stop freaking out. Nothing to worry about until I know something. RIGHT? I cannot believe that I am going through this thought process on my blog. Well, that's life. It IS part of my journey right now. OMG I am freaking out! I mean like... almost panicky! The timing would really suck! I WANT TO BE A PARAMEDIC!!!
I'm too freaked out to write right now. Sorry to leave you hanging!
Stay safe!
Hotflash out!
Wednesday
I am feeling crappy still though the nausea seems to have passed. OMG!! as I write this I realize that many of my recent symptoms are reminiscent of... AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! NO it CAN't BE>>> I am NOT pregnant! But I have been way tired lately. And I am peeing a lot. I mean often but not a lot at all. YIKES!! I better not be late! As if I can judge that. I haven't been regular in three years! OMG OMG OMG!!! I'm really scared!!! That would SO suck!!! Just this past weekend I saw a mom with a teeny tiny infant and said, "Oh, I want one of those..." then shocked myself when I quickly said, "But not to keep!" I was just thinking I had finally passed a major milestone in my life. OMG!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!
OK, stop freaking out. Nothing to worry about until I know something. RIGHT? I cannot believe that I am going through this thought process on my blog. Well, that's life. It IS part of my journey right now. OMG I am freaking out! I mean like... almost panicky! The timing would really suck! I WANT TO BE A PARAMEDIC!!!
I'm too freaked out to write right now. Sorry to leave you hanging!
Stay safe!
Hotflash out!
Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 170 and 171
Monday
Ok I admit it. I only exercised today because I was afraid to call Coach Alex and cancel. I'm glad I walkd though! I just felt so tired and worn out. Even after 12 hours of bed time on Friday night. I drank my fluids today, two quarts plus a little more. I don't remember what time I went to bed Sunday night so I'll be conservative and say I am two for three though I may have been better than that. I am still feeling crappy.
I just feel sick to my stomach, and very tired. Nothing else to report for Monday.
Tuesday
Well, I have had a headache all day but otherwise have been feeling a little better. No nausea. I drank about 3 quarts today of WATER, and iced tea. I have kept busy today, not exercising on purpose but not lazy either. It isn't a scheduled workout day so I am giving myself three for three. (oh, I got a fair amount of sleep!)
Today was the first CERT class. We have quite a varied bunch of volunteers taking this class. Child Care directors, , Paramedic wannabe, School librarian, Traffic engineer, architect, safe streets leaders, former first responders from NY, retired CIA, young adult neighbor of mostly elderly people, military guy just back from Afghanistan and his wife, etc. Great mix! This should be very interesting.
We got our green CERT helmets, goggles and gloves made for andre the giant! (seriously, I couldn't do anything in my gloves if my life depended on it!) I will have to go find some other gloves and buy them. We are required to bring these items to each class hereafter. When the class is over we will be issued substantial disaster kits. I am told they cost the city 60 dollars each before tax. I can see waiting to make sure we are serious before issuing them. We are not being charged a penny. And they feed us too. Today was pretty much orientation to CERT. Thursday we will launch into small fire suppression. Using extinguishers complete with practical exercise. I hope they'll accept whatever gloves I find as a substitute for what was issued. My gloves would be too big for my feet with shoes on!
Not much else to report.
Stay safe!
Hotflash out.
Ok I admit it. I only exercised today because I was afraid to call Coach Alex and cancel. I'm glad I walkd though! I just felt so tired and worn out. Even after 12 hours of bed time on Friday night. I drank my fluids today, two quarts plus a little more. I don't remember what time I went to bed Sunday night so I'll be conservative and say I am two for three though I may have been better than that. I am still feeling crappy.
I just feel sick to my stomach, and very tired. Nothing else to report for Monday.
Tuesday
Well, I have had a headache all day but otherwise have been feeling a little better. No nausea. I drank about 3 quarts today of WATER, and iced tea. I have kept busy today, not exercising on purpose but not lazy either. It isn't a scheduled workout day so I am giving myself three for three. (oh, I got a fair amount of sleep!)
Today was the first CERT class. We have quite a varied bunch of volunteers taking this class. Child Care directors, , Paramedic wannabe, School librarian, Traffic engineer, architect, safe streets leaders, former first responders from NY, retired CIA, young adult neighbor of mostly elderly people, military guy just back from Afghanistan and his wife, etc. Great mix! This should be very interesting.
We got our green CERT helmets, goggles and gloves made for andre the giant! (seriously, I couldn't do anything in my gloves if my life depended on it!) I will have to go find some other gloves and buy them. We are required to bring these items to each class hereafter. When the class is over we will be issued substantial disaster kits. I am told they cost the city 60 dollars each before tax. I can see waiting to make sure we are serious before issuing them. We are not being charged a penny. And they feed us too. Today was pretty much orientation to CERT. Thursday we will launch into small fire suppression. Using extinguishers complete with practical exercise. I hope they'll accept whatever gloves I find as a substitute for what was issued. My gloves would be too big for my feet with shoes on!
Not much else to report.
Stay safe!
Hotflash out.
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