Flashpointz

I will NEVER forget.

2011-09-11T14:57:00.000-07:00

September 11th, 2011... Ten years since the horrific acts of terrorism were committed against the American people. And it still feels like it was yesterday.

I am a Kingdoms of Camelot Junkie. It is a medieval war game on facebook. I run my own alliance there, called Camelot Fire and Rescue. With a name like that, it does attract gamers who are also fire fighters, paramedics, EMT's, and other first responders; but it also attracts "civilians." Although I am Chancellor of the alliance, I have many supporting officers to help me manage it. And one of them... a good friend, offered to create a website for the alliance that would provide guides and helpful information to our members. But both "aceofspades" (as he goes by online) and I wanted to make it more than that. We both felt strongly that we should create a memorial for 9-11. I haven't the slightest idea of how to create a website so he handled the technical end and I provided input and searched for resources for the site.

I spent all of Labor Day weekend sifting through hundreds of sites reflecting on the attacks of September 11th, 2001. "Ace" did the same and it affected us both profoundly. The following is a post I left in the forum page of our website:

I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was a Field Coordinator for a private for profit child care corporation which meant I helped oversee sixteen separate school age cild care programs.

On September 11th, 2001 I was filling in as a Site Director for one of those programs because we had let the previous Site Director go only a few days prior to that. I got to work about a half hour early as I always do and turned on the television to watch the news while I prepared the classroom for the day. I saw the coverage of the plane having hit the first tower.

As I continued to watch and the events of the morning continued to unfold I became aware very quickly that this was no accident, that our homeland was under attack.

Then I got a call from my boss that another Director had not shown up and there was nobody at that site to receive families. Another teacher had just arrived at my site so I headed out the door to cover the other one. On the way I listened to the radio, in shock. I remember it was hard to drive because I was crying.. afraid for the people inside the first tower, and for my own family.. wondering if we were safe in our own town on the West Coast.

At the second site I had the news on as well. In retrospect I should not have with children on site, but nobody knew what to do. My programs were held in elementary schools and every classroom had a television turned on and the teachers were glued to them. As children arrived on the grounds they were ushered into their classes quickly because we all felt threatened. We were not under lockdown... but we were close to it.

As I watched the news I saw the plane flying low in the sky and thought, "My dear God, its going to hit the other tower". And of course it did. And then all the false hope that maybe, just maybe this was a series of tragic accidents went down the drain. I burst into loud sobs and could not control my emotion despite the fact that I was now responsible for children in the room.

And the news just kept getting worse. I remember feeling a tremendous amount of sorrow mixed with the fear of uncertainty.

In the days and weeks that followed, I felt a confusing jumble of emotions. I felt pride in my country for coming together in such unity to mourn our losses and find the will to go on. I felt joy at being alive, having a family whom I loved and the fact that I did not lose anyone dear to me in the attacks. And I felt guilty for my joy when others were suffering. I felt fear and uncertainty about the security of our nation. I felt overwhelming sadness for the senseless loss of life. I know many more civilians died in the attacks than firefighters and police officers but the firefighters bothered me the most.

I have always had a passion for firefighters and EMS providers. It's in my blood I guess. Not really since my family history of firefighters is not related by blood, but they were family just the same. My grandfather was really my mother's step father, but I idolized him as a child because he was a fireman. He helped people. He was a highly compassionate being, like most firefighters. And that compassion is what draws me to my passion for firefighters and EMS providers still today.

Today I had the privilege of attending a beautiful ceremony in honor of all the lives lost that horrible day ten years ago. Our fire department provided a thoughtful, respectful remembrance of those who were lost and honoring those left to carry on with out them. As part of the Fire Buff Battalion I felt very honored to be there and show my support. The event was attended by many neighboring fire departments and there was even representation from the NYPD. And, as I do every year at every memorial ceremony, I cried. My heart is so broken for all those who are left to carry on with their lives forever changed and holes in their hearts that will never be filled. I am filled with compassion for those who were there in the aftermath digging for bodies, clearing away rubble, serving the rescuers, and all who were a part of that in any way. I know it is something they will never forget and that for many it brings nightmares still today and for those people I pray for peace and comfort.

For all who lost loved ones in the senseless attacks on our country on September 11th, 2001, my heart and my prayers go out to you. That includes the many who have lost loved ones due to health issues brought on by the toxic dust and smoke from the attacks, and those who died from suicide because they simply could not cope.

For all who were there, all who helped, all who gave blood, helped their neighbors, prayed, or helped in any way large or small... to the military, police, firefighters, EMS providers, Red Cross volunteers and all other service providers, you are all heroes, even if you don't consider yourselves to be. I thank you for your service to others.

May we NEVER forget and God help us, may we find it in our hearts to forgive, lest we not be forgiven of our own transgressions.

God bless America, and God bless everyone.

Hotflash out.

Rest in Peace:

Gordon McCannel Aamoth, 32, New York, N.Y.
Maria Rose Abad, 49, Syosset, N.Y.
Edelmiro (Ed) Abad, 54, New York, N.Y.
Andrew Anthony Abate, 37, Melville, N.Y.
Vincent Abate, 40, New York, N.Y.
Laurence Christopher Abel, 37
William F. Abrahamson, 58, Cortland Manor, N.Y.
Richard Anthony Aceto, 42, Wantagh, N.Y.
Erica Van Acker, 62, New York, N.Y.
Heinrich B. Ackermann, 38, New York, N.Y.
Paul Andrew Acquaviva, 29, Glen Rock, N.J.
Christian Adams, 37, Biebelsheim, Germany
Donald L. Adams, 28, Chatham, N.J.
Shannon Lewis Adams, 25, New York, N.Y.
Stephen Adams, 51, New York, N.Y.
Patrick Adams, 60, New York, N.Y.
Ignatius Adanga, 62, New York, N.Y.
Christy A. Addamo, 28, New Hyde Park, N.Y.
Terence E. Adderley, 22, Bloomfield Hills, Mich.
Sophia B. Addo, 36, New York, N.Y.
Lee Adler, 48, Springfield, N.J.
Daniel Thomas Afflitto, 32, Manalapan, N.J.
Emmanuel Afuakwah, 37, New York, N.Y.
Alok Agarwal, 36, Jersey City, N.J.
Mukul Agarwala, 37, New York, N.Y.
Joseph Agnello, 35, New York, N.Y.
David Scott Agnes, 46, New York, N.Y.
Joao A. Aguiar Jr., 30, Red Bank, N.J.
Lt. Brian G. Ahearn, 43, Huntington, N.Y.
Jeremiah J. Ahern, 74, Cliffside Park, N.J.
Joanne Ahladiotis, 27, New York, N.Y.
Shabbir Ahmed, 47, New York, N.Y.
Terrance Andre Aiken, 30, New York, N.Y.
Godwin Ajala, 33, New York, N.Y.
Gertrude M. Alagero, 37, New York, N.Y.
Andrew Alameno, 37, Westfield, N.J.
Margaret Ann (Peggy) Jezycki Alario, 41, New York, N.Y.
Gary Albero, 39, Emerson, N.J.
Jon L. Albert, 46, Upper Nyack, N.Y.
Peter Craig Alderman, 25, New York, N.Y.
Jacquelyn Delaine Aldridge, 46, New York, N.Y.
Grace Alegre-Cua, 40, Glen Rock, N.J.
David D. Alger, 57, New York, N.Y.
Ernest Alikakos, 43, New York, N.Y.
Edward L. Allegretto, 51, Colonia, N.J.
Eric Allen, 44, New York, N.Y.
Joseph Ryan Allen, 39, New York, N.Y.
Richard Lanard Allen, 30, New York, N.Y.
Richard Dennis Allen, 31, New York, N.Y.
Christopher Edward Allingham, 36, River Edge, N.J.
Anna Williams Allison, 48, Stoneham, Massachusetts
Janet M. Alonso, 41, Stony Point, N.Y.
Anthony Alvarado, 31, New York, N.Y.
Antonio Javier Alvarez, 23, New York, N.Y.
Telmo Alvear, 25, New York, N.Y.
Cesar A. Alviar, 60, Bloomfield, N.J.
Tariq Amanullah, 40, Metuchen, N.J.
Angelo Amaranto, 60, New York, N.Y.
James Amato, 43, Ronkonkoma, N.Y.
Joseph Amatuccio, 41, New York, N.Y.
Paul Ambrose, 32, Washington, D.C.
Christopher Charles Amoroso, 29, New York, N.Y.
Spc. Craig Amundson, 28, Fort Belvoir, Va.
Kazuhiro Anai, 42, Scarsdale, N.Y.
Calixto Anaya, 35, Suffern, N.Y.
Jorge Octavio Santos Anaya, 25, Aguascalientes, Aguascalientes, Mexico
Joseph Peter Anchundia, 26, New York, N.Y.
Kermit Charles Anderson, 57, Green Brook, N.J.
Yvette Anderson, 53, New York, N.Y.
John Andreacchio, 52, New York, N.Y.
Michael Rourke Andrews, 34, Belle Harbor, N.Y.
Jean A. Andrucki, 42, Hoboken, N.J.
Siew-Nya Ang, 37, East Brunswick, N.J.
Joseph Angelini, 38, Lindenhurst, N.Y.
Joseph Angelini, 63, Lindenhurst, N.Y.
David Angell, 54, Pasadena, California
Lynn Angell, 45, Pasadena, California
Laura Angilletta, 23, New York, N.Y.
Doreen J. Angrisani, 44, New York, N.Y.
Lorraine D. Antigua, 32, Middletown, N.J.
Seima Aoyama, 48, Culver City, Calif.
Peter Paul Apollo, 26, Hoboken, N.J.
Faustino Apostol, 55, New York, N.Y.
Frank Thomas Aquilino, 26, New York, N.Y.
Patrick Michael Aranyos, 26, New York, N.Y.
David Gregory Arce, 36, New York, N.Y.
Michael G. Arczynski, 45, Little Silver, N.J.
Louis Arena, 32, New York, N.Y.
Barbara Arestegui, 38, Marstons Mills, Massachusetts
Adam Arias, 37, Staten Island, N.Y.
Michael J. Armstrong, 34, New York, N.Y.
Jack Charles Aron, 52, Bergenfield, N.J.
Joshua Aron, 29, New York, N.Y.
Richard Avery Aronow, 48, Mahwah, N.J.
Myra Aronson, 52, Charlestown, Massachusetts
Japhet J. Aryee, 49, Spring Valley, N.Y.
Carl Asaro, 39, Middletown, N.Y.
Michael A. Asciak, 47, Ridgefield, N.J.
Michael Edward Asher, 53, Monroe, N.Y.
Janice Ashley, 25, Rockville Centre, N.Y.
Thomas J. Ashton, 21, New York, N.Y.
Manuel O. Asitimbay, 36, New York, N.Y.
Lt. Gregg Arthur Atlas, 45, Howells, N.Y.
Gerald Atwood, 38, New York, N.Y.
James Audiffred, 38, New York, N.Y.
Kenneth W. Van Auken, 47, East Brunswick, N.J.
Louis F. Aversano, Jr, 58, Manalapan, N.J.
Ezra Aviles, 41, Commack, N.Y.
Alona Avraham, 30, Asdod, Israel.
Ayodeji Awe, 42, New York, N.Y
Samuel (Sandy) Ayala, 36, New York, N.Y.
Arlene T. Babakitis, 47, Secaucus, N.J.
Eustace (Rudy) Bacchus, 48, Metuchen, N.J.
John James Badagliacca, 35, New York, N.Y.
Jane Ellen Baeszler, 43, New York, N.Y.
Robert J. Baierwalter, 44, Albertson, N.Y.
Garnet Edward (Ace) Bailey, 54, Lynnfield, Mass.
Andrew J. Bailey, 29, New York, N.Y.
Brett T. Bailey, 28, Bricktown, N.J.
Tatyana Bakalinskaya, 43, New York, N.Y.
Michael S. Baksh, 36, Englewood, N.J.
Sharon Balkcom, 43, White Plains, N.Y.
Michael Andrew Bane, 33, Yardley, Pa.
Kathy Bantis, 44, Chicago, Ill.
Gerard Jean Baptiste, 35, New York, N.Y.
Walter Baran, 42, New York, N.Y.
Gerard A. Barbara, 53, New York, N.Y.
Paul V. Barbaro, 35, Holmdel, N.J.
James W. Barbella, 53, Oceanside, N.Y.
Ivan Kyrillos Fairbanks Barbosa, 30, Jersey City, N.J.
Victor Daniel Barbosa, 23, New York, N.Y.
Christine Barbuto, 32, Brookline, Massachusetts
Colleen Ann Barkow, 26, East Windsor, N.J.
David Michael Barkway, 34, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Melissa Rose Barnes, 27, Redlands, Calif.
Matthew Barnes, 37, Monroe, N.Y.
Sheila Patricia Barnes, 55, Bay Shore, N.Y.
Evan J. Baron, 38, Bridgewater, N.J.
Renee Barrett-Arjune, 41, Irvington, N.J.
Arthur T. Barry, 35, New York, N.Y.
Diane G. Barry, 60, New York, N.Y.
Maurice Vincent Barry, 49, Rutherford, N.J.
Scott D. Bart, 28, Malverne, N.Y.
Carlton W. Bartels, 44, New York, N.Y.
Guy Barzvi, 29, New York, N.Y.
Inna Basina, 43, New York, N.Y.
Alysia Basmajian, 23, Bayonne, N.J.
Kenneth William Basnicki, 48, Etobicoke, Ontario, Canada
Lt. Steven J. Bates, 42, New York, N.Y.
Paul James Battaglia, 22, New York, N.Y.
W. David Bauer, 45, Rumson, N.J.
Ivhan Luis Carpio Bautista, 24, New York, N.Y.
Marlyn C. Bautista, 46, Iselin, N.J.
Mark Bavis, 31, West Newton, Mass.
Jasper Baxter, 45, Philadelphia, Pa.
Lorraine G. Bay, 58, East Windsor, N.J.
Michele (Du Berry) Beale, 37, Essex, Britain
Todd Beamer, 32, Cranbury, N.J.
Paul F. Beatini, 40, Park Ridge, N.J.
Jane S. Beatty, 53, Belford, N.J.
Alan Beaven, 48, Oakland, CA
Larry I. Beck, 38, Baldwin, N.Y.
Manette Marie Beckles, 43, Rahway, N.J.
Carl John Bedigian, 35, New York, N.Y.
Michael Beekman, 39, New York, N.Y.
Maria Behr, 41, Milford, N.J.
(Retired) Master Sgt. Max Beilke, 69, Laurel, Md.
Yelena Belilovsky, 38, Mamaroneck, N.Y.
Nina Patrice Bell, 39, New York, N.Y.
Andrea Della Bella, 59, Jersey City, N.J.
Debbie S. Bellows, 30, East Windsor, N.J.
Stephen Elliot Belson, 51, New York, N.Y.
Paul Michael Benedetti, 32, New York, N.Y.
Denise Lenore Benedetto, 40, New York, N.Y.
Bryan Craig Bennett, 25, New York, N.Y.
Oliver Duncan Bennett, 29, London, England
Eric L. Bennett, 29, New York, N.Y.
Margaret L. Benson, 52, Rockaway, N.J.
Dominick J. Berardi, 25, New York, N.Y.
James Patrick Berger, 44, Lower Makefield, Pa.
Steven Howard Berger, 45, Manalapan, N.J.
John P. Bergin, 39, New York, N.Y.
Alvin Bergsohn, 48, Baldwin Harbor, N.Y.
Daniel D. Bergstein, 38, Teaneck, N.J.
Graham Andrew Berkeley, 37, Boston, Mass.
Michael J. Berkeley, 38, New York, N.Y.
Donna Bernaerts-Kearns, 44, Hoboken, N.J.
David W. Bernard, 57, Chelmsford, Mass.
William Bernstein, 44, New York, N.Y.
David M. Berray, 39, New York, N.Y.
David S. Berry, 43, New York, N.Y.
Joseph J. Berry, 55, Saddle River, N.J.
William Reed Bethke, 36, Hamilton, N.J.
Yeneneh Betru, 35, Burbank, Calif
Timothy D. Betterly, 42, Little Silver, N.J.
Carolyn Beug, 48, Los Angeles, California
Edward F. Beyea, 42, New York, N.Y.
Paul Michael Beyer, 37, New York, N.Y.
Anil T. Bharvaney, 41, East Windsor, N.J.
Bella Bhukhan, 24, Union, N.J.
Shimmy D. Biegeleisen, 42, New York, N.Y.
Peter Alexander Bielfeld, 44, New York, N.Y.
William Biggart, 54, New York, N.Y.
Brian Bilcher, 36, New York, N.Y.
Mark K. Bingham, 31, San Francisco, Calif.
Carl Vincent Bini, 44, New York, N.Y.
Gary Bird, 51, Tempe, Ariz.
Joshua David Birnbaum, 24, New York, N.Y.
George Bishop, 52, Granite Springs, N.Y.
Kris Romeo Bishundat, 23, Waldorf, Md.
Jeffrey D. Bittner, 27, New York, N.Y.
Balewa Albert Blackman, 26, New York, N.Y.
Christopher Joseph Blackwell, 42, Patterson, N.Y.
Carrie Blagburn, 48, Temple Hills, Md.
Susan L. Blair, 35, East Brunswick, N.J.
Harry Blanding, 38, Blakeslee, Pa.
Janice L. Blaney, 55, Williston Park, N.Y.
Craig Michael Blass, 27, Greenlawn, N.Y.
Rita Blau, 52, New York, N.Y.
Richard M. Blood, 38, Ridgewood, N.J.
Michael A. Boccardi, 30, Bronxville, N.Y.
John Paul Bocchi, 38, New Vernon, N.J.
Michael L. Bocchino, 45, New York, N.Y.
Susan Mary Bochino, 36, New York, N.Y.
Deora Frances Bodley, 20, San Diego, Calif.
Bruce Douglas (Chappy) Boehm, 49, West Hempstead, N.Y.
Mary Katherine Boffa, 45, New York, N.Y.
Nicholas A. Bogdan, 34, Browns Mills, N.J.
Darren C. Bohan, 34, New York, N.Y.
Lawrence Francis Boisseau, 36, Freehold, N.J.
Vincent M. Boland, 25, Ringwood, N.J.
Touri Bolourchi, 69, Beverly Hills, Calif.
Alan Bondarenko, 53, Flemington, N.J.
Andre Bonheur, 40, New York, N.Y.
Colin Arthur Bonnett, 39, New York, N.Y.
Frank Bonomo, 42, Port Jefferson, N.Y.
Yvonne L. Bonomo, 30, New York, N.Y.
Sean Booker, 35, Irvington, N.J.
Kelly Ann Booms, 24, Brookline, Mass.
Lt. Col. Canfield D. Boone, 54, Clifton, Va.
Mary Jane (MJ) Booth, 64, Falls Church, Va.
Sherry Ann Bordeaux, 38, Jersey City, N.J.
Krystine C. Bordenabe, 33, Old Bridge, N.J.
Martin Boryczewski, 29, Parsippany, N.J.
Richard E. Bosco, 34, Suffern, N.Y.
Klaus Bothe, 31, Linkenheim, Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany
Carol Bouchard, 43, Warwick, Rhode Island
John Howard Boulton, 29, New York, N.Y.
Francisco Bourdier, 41, New York, N.Y.
Thomas H. Bowden, 36, Wyckoff, N.J.
Donna Bowen, 42, Waldorf, Md.
Kimberly S. Bowers, 31, Islip, N.Y.
Veronique (Bonnie) Nicole Bowers, 28, New York, N.Y.
Larry Bowman, 46, New York, N.Y.
Shawn Edward Bowman, 28, New York, N.Y.
Kevin L. Bowser, 45, Philadelphia, Pa.
Gary R. Box, 37, North Bellmore, N.Y.
Gennady Boyarsky, 34, New York, N.Y.
Pamela Boyce, 43, New York, N.Y.
Allen Boyle, 30, Fredericksburg, Va.
Michael Boyle, 37, Westbury, N.Y.
Alfred Braca, 54, Leonardo, N.J.
Sandra Conaty Brace, 60, New York, N.Y.
Kevin H. Bracken, 37, New York, N.Y.
Sandra W. Bradshaw, 38, Greensboro, N.C.
David Brian Brady, 41, Summit, N.J.
Alexander Braginsky, 38, Stamford, Conn.
Nicholas W. Brandemarti, 21, Mantua, N.J.
Daniel R. Brandhorst, 41, Los Angeles, Calif
David Reed Gamboa Brandhorst, 3, Los Angeles, Calif.
Michelle Renee Bratton, 23, Yonkers, N.Y.
Patrice Braut, 31, New York, N.Y.
Lydia Estelle Bravo, 50, Dunellen, N.J.
Ronald Michael Breitweiser, 39, Middletown Township, N.J.
Edward A. Brennan, 37, New York, N.Y.
Frank H. Brennan, 50, New York, N.Y.
Michael Emmett Brennan, 27, New York, N.Y.
Peter Brennan, 30, Ronkonkoma, N.Y.
Thomas M. Brennan, 32, Scarsdale, N.Y.
Capt. Daniel Brethel, 43, Farmingdale, N.Y.
Gary L. Bright, 36, Union City, N.J.
Jonathan Eric Briley, 43, Mount Vernon, N.Y.
Mark A. Brisman, 34, Armonk, N.Y.
Paul Gary Bristow, 27, New York, N.Y.
Victoria Alvarez Brito, 38, New York, N.Y.
Marion Britton, 53, New York, N.Y.
Mark Francis Broderick, 42, Old Bridge, N.J.
Herman C. Broghammer, 58, North Merrick, N.Y.
Keith Broomfield, 49, New York, N.Y.
Bernard Curtis Brown, 11, Washington, D.C.
Janice J. Brown, 35, New York, N.Y.
Lloyd Brown, 28, Bronxville, N.Y.
Capt. Patrick J. Brown, 48, New York, N.Y.
Bettina Browne, 49, Atlantic Beach, N.Y.
Mark Bruce, 40, Summit, N.J.
Richard Bruehert, 38, Westbury, N.Y.
Andrew Brunn, 28
Capt. Vincent Brunton, 43, New York, N.Y.
Ronald Paul Bucca, 47, Tuckahoe, N.Y.
Brandon J. Buchanan, 24, New York, N.Y.
Greg Joseph Buck, 37, New York, N.Y.
Dennis Buckley, 38, Chatham, N.J.
Nancy Bueche, 43, Hicksville, N.Y.
Patrick Joseph Buhse, 36, Lincroft, N.J.
John E. Bulaga, 35, Paterson, N.J.
Stephen Bunin, 45, New York, N.Y.
Christopher Lee Burford, 23, Hubert, N.C.
Thomas Daniel Burke, 38, Bedford Hills, N.Y.
Capt. William F. Burke, 46, New York, N.Y.
Matthew J. Burke, 28, New York, N.Y.
Charles Burlingame, 51, Herndon, Va.
Thomas E. Burnett Jr., 38, San Ramon, Calif.
Donald James Burns, 61, Nissequogue, N.Y.
Kathleen A. Burns, 49, New York, N.Y.
Keith James Burns, 39, East Rutherford, N.J.
John Patrick Burnside, 36, New York, N.Y.
Irina Buslo, 32, New York, N.Y.
Milton Bustillo, 37, New York, N.Y.
Thomas M. Butler, 37, Kings Park, N.Y.
Patrick Byrne, 39, New York, N.Y.
Timothy G. Byrne, 36, Manhattan, N.Y.
Daniel Martin Caballero, 21, Houston, Texas
Jesus Cabezas, 66, New York, N.Y.
Lillian Caceres, 48, New York, N.Y.
Brian Joseph Cachia, 26, New York, N.Y.
Steven Cafiero, 31, New York, N.Y.
Richard M. Caggiano, 25, New York, N.Y.
Cecile M. Caguicla, 55, Boonton, N.J.
John Brett Cahill, 56, Wellesley, Mass.
Michael John Cahill, 37, East Williston, N.Y.
Scott W. Cahill, 30, West Caldwell, N.J.
Thomas J. Cahill, 36, Franklin Lakes, N.J.
George Cain, 35, Massapequa, N.Y.
Salvatore B. Calabro, 38, New York, N.Y.
Joseph Calandrillo, 49, Hawley, Pa.
Philip V. Calcagno, 57, New York, N.Y.
Sgt. 1st Class Jose Orlando Calderon-Olmedo, 44, Annandale, Va.
Edward Calderon, 44, Jersey City, N.J.
Kenneth Marcus Caldwell, 30, New York, N.Y.
Dominick E. Calia, 40, Manalapan, N.J.
Felix (Bobby) Calixte, 38, New York, N.Y.
Capt. Frank Callahan, 51, New York, N.Y.
Liam Callahan, 44, Rockaway, N.J.
Suzanne Calley, 42, San Martin, Calif.
Luigi Calvi, 34, East Rutherford, N.J.
Roko Camaj, 60, Manhasset, N.Y.
Michael Cammarata, 22, Huguenot, N.Y.
David Otey Campbell, 51, Basking Ridge, N.J.
Geoffrey Thomas Campbell, 31, New York, N.Y.
Sandra Patricia Campbell, 45, New York, N.Y.
Jill Marie Campbell, 31, New York, N.Y.
Robert Arthur Campbell, 25, New York, N.Y.
Juan Ortega Campos, 32, New York, N.Y.
Sean Canavan, 39, New York, N.Y.
John A. Candela, 42, Glen Ridge, N.J.
Vincent Cangelosi, 30, New York, N.Y.
Stephen J. Cangialosi, 40, Middletown, N.J.
Lisa B. Cannava, 30, New York, N.Y.
Brian Cannizzaro, 30, New York, N.Y.
Michael R. Canty, 30, Schenectady, N.Y.
Louis A. Caporicci, 35, New York, N.Y.
Jonathan N. Cappello, 23, Garden City, N.Y.
James Christopher Cappers, 33, Wading River, N.Y.
Richard M. Caproni, 34, Lynbrook, N.Y.
Jose Cardona, 32, New York, N.Y.
Dennis M Carey, 51, Wantagh, N.Y.
Edward Carlino, 46, New York, N.Y.
Michael Scott Carlo, 34, New York, N.Y.
David G. Carlone, 46, Randolph, N.J.
Rosemarie C. Carlson, 40, New York, N.Y.
Mark Stephen Carney, 41, Rahway, N.J.
Joyce Ann Carpeneto, 40, New York, N.Y.
Alicia Acevedo Carranza, Teziutlan, Puebla, Mexico
Jeremy M. Carrington, 34, New York, N.Y.
Michael T. Carroll, 39, New York, N.Y.
Peter Carroll, 42, New York, N.Y.
James J. Carson, 32, Massapequa, N.Y.
Christoffer Carstanjen, 33, Turner Falls, Mass.
Angelene C. Carter, 51, Forrestville, Md.
James Marcel Cartier, 26, New York, N.Y.
Sharon Carver, 38, Waldorf, Md.
Vivian Casalduc, 45, New York, N.Y.
John F. Casazza, 38, Colts Neck, N.J.
Paul Cascio, 23, Manhasset, N.Y.
Neilie Anne Heffernan Casey, 32, Wellesley, Massachusetts
Kathleen Hunt Casey, 43, Middletown, N.J.
William Cashman, 57, North Bergen, N.J.
Margarito Casillas, 54, Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico
Thomas Anthony Casoria, 29, New York, N.Y.
William Otto Caspar, 57, Eatontown, N.J.
Alejandro Castano, 35, Englewood, N.J.
Arcelia Castillo, 49, Elizabeth, N.J.
Leonard M. Castrianno, 30, New York, N.Y.
Jose Ramon Castro, 37, New York, N.Y.
William Caswell, 54, Silver Spring, Md.
Richard G. Catarelli, 47, New York, N.Y.
Christopher Sean Caton, 34, New York, N.Y.
Robert J. Caufield, 48, Valley Stream, N.Y.
Mary Teresa Caulfield, 58, New York, N.Y.
Judson Cavalier, 26, Huntington, N.Y.
Michael Joseph Cawley, 32, Bellmore, N.Y.
Jason D. Cayne, 32, Morganville, N.J.
Juan Armando Ceballos, 47, New York, N.Y.
Marcia G. Cecil-Carter, 34, New York, N.Y.
Jason Cefalu, 30, West Hempstead, N.Y.
Thomas J. Celic, 43, New York, N.Y.
Ana M. Centeno, 38, Bayonne, N.J.
Joni Cesta, 37, Bellmore, N.Y.
John J. Chada, 55, Manassas, Va.
Jeffrey M. Chairnoff, 35, West Windsor, N.J.
Swarna Chalasani, 33, Jersey City, N.J.
William Chalcoff, 41, Roslyn, N.Y.
Eli Chalouh, 23, New York, N.Y.
Charles Lawrence (Chip) Chan, 23, New York, N.Y.
Mandy Chang, 40, New York, N.Y.
Rosa Maria (Rosemary) Chapa, 64, Springfield, Va.
Mark L. Charette, 38, Millburn, N.J.
David M. Charlebois, 39, Washington, D.C
Gregorio Manuel Chavez, 48, New York, N.Y.
Jayceryll M. de Chavez, 24, Carteret, N.J.
Pedro Francisco Checo, 35, New York, N.Y.
Douglas MacMillan Cherry, 38, Maplewood, N.J.
Stephen Patrick Cherry, 41, Stamford, Conn.
Vernon Paul Cherry, 49, New York, N.Y.
Nestor Chevalier, 30, New York, N.Y.
Swede Joseph Chevalier, 26, Locust, N.J.
Alexander H. Chiang, 51, New City, N.Y.
Dorothy J. Chiarchiaro, 61, Glenwood, N.J.
Luis Alfonso Chimbo, 39, New York, N.Y.
Robert Chin, 33, New York, N.Y.
Wing Wai (Eddie) Ching, 29, Union, N.J.
Nicholas P. Chiofalo, 39, Selden, N.Y.
John Chipura, 39, New York, N.Y.
Peter A. Chirchirillo, 47, Langhorne, Pa.
Catherine E. Chirls, 47, Princeton, N.J.
Kyung (Kaccy) Cho, 30, Clifton, N.J.
Abul K. Chowdhury, 30, New York, N.Y.
Mohammed Salahuddin Chowdhury, 38, New York, N.Y.
Kirsten L. Christophe, 39, Maplewood, N.J.
Pamela Chu, 31, New York, N.Y.
Steven Paul Chucknick, 44, Cliffwood Beach, N.J.
Wai-ching Chung, 36, New York, N.Y.
Christopher Ciafardini, 30, New York, N.Y.
Alex F. Ciccone, 38, New Rochelle, N.Y.
Frances Ann Cilente, 26, New York, N.Y.
Elaine Cillo, 40, New York, N.Y.
Edna Cintron, 46, New York, N.Y.
Nestor Andre Cintron, 26, New York, N.Y.
Lt. Robert Dominick Cirri, 39, Nutley, N.J.
Juan Pablo Alvarez Cisneros, 23, Weehawken, N.J.
Sarah Clark, 65, Columbia, Md.
Gregory Alan Clark, 40, Teaneck, N.J.
Mannie Leroy Clark, 54, New York, N.Y.
Thomas R. Clark, 37, Summit, N.J.
Eugene Clark, 47, New York, N.Y.
Benjamin Keefe Clark, 39, New York, N.Y.
Christopher Robert Clarke, 34, Philadelphia, Pa.
Donna Clarke, 39, New York, N.Y.
Michael Clarke, 27, Prince's Bay, N.Y.
Suria R.E. Clarke, 30, New York, N.Y.
Kevin Francis Cleary, 38, New York, N.Y.
James D. Cleere, 55, Newton, Iowa
Geoffrey W. Cloud, 36, Stamford, Conn.
Susan M. Clyne, 42, Lindenhurst, N.Y.
Steven Coakley, 36, Deer Park, N.Y.
Jeffrey Coale, 31, Souderton, Pa.
Patricia A. Cody, 46, Brigantine, N.J.
Daniel Michael Coffey, 54, Newburgh, N.Y.
Jason Matthew Coffey, 25, Newburgh, N.Y.
Florence Cohen, 62, New York, N.Y.
Kevin Sanford Cohen, 28, Edison, N.J.
Anthony Joseph Coladonato, 47, New York, N.Y.
Mark J. Colaio, 34, New York, N.Y.
Stephen J. Colaio, 32, Montauk, N.Y.
Christopher M. Colasanti, 33, Hoboken, N.J.
Michel Paris Colbert, 39, West New York, N.J.
Kevin Nathaniel Colbert, 25, New York, N.Y.
Keith Eugene Coleman, 34, Warren, N.J.
Scott Thomas Coleman, 31, New York, N.Y.
Tarel Coleman, 32
Liam Joseph Colhoun, 34, Flushing,, N.Y.
Robert D. Colin, 49, West Babylon, N.Y.
Robert J. Coll, 35, Glen Ridge, N.J.
Jean Marie Collin, 42, New York, N.Y.
John Michael Collins, 42, New York, N.Y.
Michael L. Collins, 38, Montclair, N.J.
Thomas J. Collins, 36, New York, N.Y.
Joseph Collison, 50, New York, N.Y.
Jeffrey Collman, 41, Novato, Calif.
Patricia Malia Colodner, 39, New York, N.Y.
Linda M. Colon, 46, Perrineville, N.J.
Soledi Colon, 39, New York, N.Y.
Ronald Comer, 56, Northport, N.Y.
Jaime Concepcion, 46, New York, N.Y.
Albert Conde, 62, Englishtown, N.J.
Denease Conley, 44, New York, N.Y.
Susan Clancy Conlon, 41, New York, N.Y.
Margaret Mary Conner, 57, New York, N.Y.
John E. Connolly, 46, Allenwood, N.J.
Cynthia L. Connolly, 40, Metuchen, N.J.
James Lee Connor, 38, Summit, N.J.
Jonathan (J.C.) Connors, 55, Old Brookville, N.Y.
Kevin P. Connors, 55, Greenwich, Conn.
Kevin Francis Conroy, 47, New York, N.Y.
Brenda E. Conway, 40, New York, N.Y.
Dennis Michael Cook, 33, Colts Neck, N.J.
Helen D. Cook, 24, New York, N.Y.
Jeffrey Coombs, 42, Abington, Massachusetts
Julian Cooper, 39, Springdale, Md.
John A. Cooper, 40, Bayonne, N.J.
Zandra Cooper, Annandale, Va.
Joseph J. Coppo, 47, New Canaan, Conn.
Gerard J. Coppola, 46, New Providence, N.J.
Joseph Albert Corbett, 28, Islip, N.Y.
John (Jay) J. Corcoran, 43, Norwell, Mass
Alejandro Cordero, 23, New York, N.Y.
Robert Cordice, 28, New York, N.Y.
Ruben D. Correa, 44, New York, N.Y.
Danny A. Correa-Gutierrez, 25, Fairview, N.J.
Georgine Rose Corrigan, 56, Honolulu, Hawaii
James Corrigan, 60, New York, N.Y.
Carlos Cortes, 57, New York, N.Y.
Kevin M. Cosgrove, 46, West Islip, N.Y.
Dolores Marie Costa, 53, Middletown, N.J.
Digna Alexandra Rivera Costanza, 25, New York, N.Y.
Charles Gregory Costello, 46, Old Bridge, N.J.
Michael S. Costello, 27, Hoboken, N.J.
Asia Cottom, 11, Washington, D.C.
Conrod K.H. Cottoy, 51, New York, N.Y.
Martin Coughlan, 54, New York, N.Y.
Sgt. John Gerard Coughlin, 43, Pomona, N.Y.
Timothy John Coughlin, 42, New York, N.Y.
James E. Cove, 48, Rockville Centre, N.Y.
Andre Cox, 29, New York, N.Y.
Frederick John Cox, 27, New York, N.Y.
James Raymond Coyle, 26, New York, N.Y.
Michelle Coyle-Eulau, 38, Garden City, N.Y.
Anne M. Cramer, 47, New York, N.Y.
Christopher Seton Cramer, 34, Manahawkin, N.J.
Lt. Cmdr. Eric Allen Cranford, 32, Drexel, N.C.
Denise Crant, 46, Hackensack, N.J.
Robert James Crawford, 62, New York, N.Y.
James L. Crawford, 33, Madison, N.J.
Tara Creamer, 30, Worcester, Massachusetts
Joanne Mary Cregan, 32, New York, N.Y.
Lucia Crifasi, 51, Glendale, N.Y.
Lt. John Crisci, 48, Holbrook, N.Y.
Daniel Hal Crisman, 25, New York, N.Y.
Dennis A. Cross, 60, Islip Terrace, N.Y.
Helen Crossin-Kittle, 34, Larchmont, N.Y.
Kevin Raymond Crotty, 43, Summit, N.J.
Thomas G. Crotty, 42, Rockville Centre, N.Y.
John Crowe, 57, Rutherford, N.J.
Welles Remy Crowther, 24, Upper Nyack, N.Y.
Robert L. Cruikshank, 64, New York, N.Y.
Francisco Cruz, 47, New York, N.Y.
John Robert Cruz, 32, Jersey City, N.J.
Kenneth John Cubas, 48, Woodstock, N.Y.
Thelma Cuccinello, 71, Wilmot, New Hampshire
Richard Joseph Cudina, 46, Glen Gardner, N.J.
Neil James Cudmore, 38, Port Washington, N.Y.
Thomas Patrick Cullen, 31, New York, N.Y.
Joan McConnell Cullinan, 47, Scarsdale, N.Y.
Joyce Cummings, 65
Brian Thomas Cummins, 38, Manasquan, N.J.
Nilton Albuquerque Fernao Cunha, 41
Michael Joseph Cunningham, 39, Princeton Junction, N.J.
Robert Curatolo, 31, New York, N.Y.
Laurence Curia, 41, Garden City, N.Y.
Paul Dario Curioli, 53, Norwalk, Conn.
Patrick Currivan, 52, Winchester, Mass.
Beverly Curry, 41, New York, N.Y.
Sgt. Michael Curtin, 45, Medford, N.Y.
Patricia Cushing, 69, Bayonne, N.J.
Gavin Cushny, 47, Hoboken, N.J.
Caleb Arron Dack, 39, Montclair, N.J.
Carlos S. DaCosta, 41, Elizabeth, N.J.
Jason Dahl, 43, Denver, Colo.
Brian Dale, 43, Warren, New Jersey
John D'Allara, 47, Pearl River, N.Y.
Vincent D'Amadeo, 36, East Patchoque, N.Y.
Thomas A. Damaskinos, 33, Matawan, N.J.
Jack L. D'Ambrosi, 45, Woodcliff Lake, N.J.
Jeannine Marie Damiani-Jones, 28, New York, N.Y.
Patrick W. Danahy, 35, Yorktown Heights, N.Y.
Nana Kwuku Danso, 47, New York, N.Y.
Mary D'Antonio, 55, New York, N.Y.
Vincent G. Danz, 38, Farmingdale, N.Y.
Dwight Donald Darcy, 55, Bronxville, N.Y.
Elizabeth Ann Darling, 28, Newark, N.J.
Annette Andrea Dataram, 25, New York, N.Y.
Lt. Edward Alexander D'Atri, 38, New York, N.Y.
Michael D. D'Auria, 25, New York, N.Y.
Lawrence Davidson, 51, New York, N.Y.
Michael Allen Davidson, 27, Westfield, N.J.
Scott Matthew Davidson, 33, New York, N.Y.
Titus Davidson, 55, New York, N.Y.
Niurka Davila, 47, New York, N.Y.
Ada M. Davis, 57, Camp Springs, Md.
Clinton Davis, 38, New York, N.Y.
Wayne Terrial Davis, 29, Fort Meade, Md.
Calvin Dawson, 46, New York, N.Y.
Anthony Richard Dawson, 32, Southampton, Hampshire, England
Edward James Day, 45, New York, N.Y.
Emerita (Emy) De La Pena, 32, New York, N.Y.
Melanie Louise De Vere, 30, London, England
William T. Dean, 35, Floral Park, N.Y.
Robert J. DeAngelis, 48, West Hempstead, N.Y.
Thomas P. Deangelis, 51, Westbury, N.Y.
Dorothy Alma DeAraujo, 80, Long Beach, Calif.
Ana Gloria Pocasangre de Barrera, 49, San Salvador, El Salvador
Tara Debek, 35, Babylon, N.Y.
James Debeuneure, 58, Upper Marlboro, Md.
Anna Debin, 30, East Farmingdale, N.Y.
James V. DeBlase, 45, Manalapan, N.J.
Paul DeCola, 39, Ridgewood, N.Y.
Capt. Gerald Francis Deconto, 44, Sandwich, Mass.
Simon Dedvukaj, 26, Mohegan Lake, N.Y.
Jason Christopher DeFazio, 29, New York, N.Y.
David A. Defeo, 37, New York, N.Y.
Jennifer DeJesus, 23, New York, N.Y.
Monique E. DeJesus, 28, New York, N.Y.
Nereida DeJesus, 30, New York, N.Y.
Donald A. Delapenha, 37, Allendale, N.J.
Vito Joseph Deleo, 41, New York, N.Y.
Danielle Delie, 47, New York, N.Y.
Colleen Ann Deloughery, 41, Bayonne, N.J.
Joseph Deluca, 52, Ledgewood, N.J.
Francis (Frank) Albert DeMartini, 49, New York, N.Y.
Anthony Demas, 61, New York, N.Y.
Martin DeMeo, 47, Farmingville, N.Y.
Francis X. Deming, 47, Franklin Lakes, N.J.
Carol K. Demitz, 49, New York, N.Y.
Kevin Dennis, 43, Peapack, N.J.
Thomas F. Dennis, 43, Setauket, N.Y.
Jean C. DePalma, 42, Newfoundland, N.J.
Jose Nicolas Depena, 42, New York, N.Y.
Robert J. Deraney, 43, New York, N.Y.
Michael DeRienzo, 37, Hoboken, N.J.
David Paul Derubbio, 38, New York, N.Y.
Jemal Legesse DeSantis, 28, Jersey City, N.J.
Christian L. DeSimone, 23, Ringwood, N.J.
Edward DeSimone, 36, Atlantic Highlands, N.J.
Lt. Andrew Desperito, 44, Patchogue, N.Y.
Michael Jude D'Esposito, 32, Morganville, N.J.
Cindy Ann Deuel, 28, New York, N.Y.
Jerry DeVito, 66, New York, N.Y.
Robert P. Devitt, 36, Plainsboro, N.J.
Dennis Lawrence Devlin, 51, Washingtonville, N.Y.
Gerard Dewan, 35, New York, N.Y.
Simon Suleman Ali Kassamali Dhanani, 62, Hartsdale, N.Y.
Michael L. DiAgostino, 41, Garden City, N.Y.
Matthew Diaz, 33, New York, N.Y.
Nancy Diaz, 28, New York, N.Y.
Obdulio Ruiz Diaz, 44, New York, N.Y.
Lourdes Galletti Diaz, 32, New York, N.Y.
Michael Diaz-Piedra, 49
Judith Belguese Diaz-Sierra, 32, Bay Shore, N.Y.
Patricia F. DiChiaro, 63, New York, N.Y.
Rodney Dickens, 11, Washington, D.C.
Lt. Col. Jerry Don Dickerson, 41, Durant, Miss.
Joseph Dermot Dickey, 50, Manhasset, N.Y.
Lawrence Patrick Dickinson, 35, Morganville, N.J.
Michael David Diehl, 48, Brick, N.J.
John DiFato, 39, New York, N.Y.
Vincent F. DiFazio, 43, Hampton, N.J.
Carl DiFranco, 27, New York, N.Y.
Donald J. DiFranco, 43, New York, N.Y.
Eddie Dillard, Alexandria, Va.
Debra Ann DiMartino, 36, New York, N.Y.
David DiMeglio, 22, Wakefield, Mass.
Stephen P. Dimino, 48, Basking Ridge, N.J.
William J. Dimmling, 47, Garden City, N.Y.
Christopher Dincuff, 31, Jersey City, N.J.
Jeffrey M. Dingle, 32, New York, N.Y.
Anthony DiOnisio, 38, Glen Rock, N.J.
George DiPasquale, 33, New York, N.Y.
Joseph DiPilato, 57, New York, N.Y.
Douglas Frank DiStefano, 24, Hoboken, N.J.
Donald Americo DiTullio, 49, Peabody, Mass.
Ramzi A. Doany, 35, Bayonne, N.J., Jordanian
Johnnie Doctor, 32, Jacksonville, Fla.
John J. Doherty, 58, Hartsdale, N.Y.
Melissa C. Doi, 32, New York, N.Y.
Capt. Robert Edward Dolan, 43, Alexandria, Va.
Brendan Dolan, 37, Glen Rock, N.J.
Neil Dollard, 28, Hoboken, N.J.
James Joseph Domanico, 56, New York, N.Y.
Benilda Pascua Domingo, 37, New York, N.Y.
Albert Dominguez, 66, Sydney, Australia
Charles (Carlos) Dominguez, 34, East Meadow, N.Y.
Geronimo (Jerome) Mark Patrick Dominguez, 37, Holtsville, N.Y.
Lt. Kevin W. Donnelly, 43, New York, N.Y.
Cmdr. William Howard Donovan, 37, Nunda, N.Y.
Jacqueline Donovan, 34, New York, N.Y.
Stephen Dorf, 39, New Milford, N.J.
Thomas Dowd, 37, Monroe, N.Y.
Lt. Kevin Christopher Dowdell, 46, New York, N.Y.
Mary Yolanda Dowling, 46, New York, N.Y.
Raymond M. Downey, 63, Deer Park, N.Y.
Joseph M. Doyle, 25, New York, N.Y.
Frank Joseph Doyle, 39, Englewood, N.J.
Randy Drake, 37, Lee's Summit, Mo.
Patrick Joseph Driscoll, 70, Manalapan, N.J.
Stephen Patrick Driscoll, 38, Lake Carmel, N.Y.
Charles Droz, 52, Springfield, Va.
Mirna A. Duarte, 31, New York, N.Y.
Luke A. Dudek, 50, Livingston, N.J.
Christopher Michael Duffy, 23, New York, N.Y.
Gerard Duffy, 53, Manorville, N.Y.
Michael Joseph Duffy, 29, Northport, N.Y.
Thomas W. Duffy, 52, Pittsford, N.Y.
Antoinette Duger, 44, Belleville, N.J.
Jackie Sayegh Duggan, 34
Sareve Dukat, 53, New York, N.Y.
Cmdr. Patrick S. Dunn, 39, Springfield, Va.
Christopher Joseph Dunne, 28, Mineola, N.Y.
Richard A. Dunstan, 54, New Providence, N.J.
Patrick Thomas Dwyer, 37, Nissequogue, N.Y.
Joseph Anthony Eacobacci, 26, New York, N.Y.
John Bruce Eagleson, 53, Middlefield, Conn.
Edward Thomas Earhart, 26, Salt Lick, Ky.
Robert D. Eaton, 37, Manhasset, N.Y.
Dean P. Eberling, 44, Cranford, N.J.
Margaret Ruth Echtermann, 33, Hoboken, N.J.
Paul Robert Eckna, 28, West New York, N.J.
Constantine (Gus) Economos, 41, New York, N.Y.
Barbara G. Edwards, 58, Las Vegas, Nev.
Dennis Michael Edwards, 35, Huntington, N.Y.
Michael Hardy Edwards, 33, New York, N.Y.
Lisa Egan, 31, Cliffside Park, N.J.
Capt. Martin Egan, 36, New York, N.Y.
Michael Egan, 51, Middletown, N.J.
Christine Egan, 55, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Samantha Egan, 24, Jersey City, N.J.
Carole Eggert, 60, New York, N.Y.
Lisa Caren Weinstein Ehrlich, 36, New York, N.Y.
John Ernst (Jack) Eichler, 69, Cedar Grove, N.J.
Eric Adam Eisenberg, 32, Commack, N.Y.
Daphne F. Elder, 36, Newark, N.J.
Michael J. Elferis, 27, College Point, N.Y.
Mark J. Ellis, 26, South Huntington, N.Y.
Valerie Silver Ellis, 46, New York, N.Y.
Albert Alfy William Elmarry, 30, North Brunswick, N.J.
Lt. Cmdr. Robert Randolph Elseth, 37, Vestal, N.Y.
Edgar H. Emery, 45, Clifton, N.J.
Doris Suk-Yuen Eng, 30, New York, N.Y.
Christopher S. Epps, 29, New York, N.Y.
Ulf Ramm Ericson, 79, Greenwich, Conn.
Erwin L. Erker, 41, Farmingdale, N.Y.
William J. Erwin, 30, Verona, N.J.
Sarah (Ali) Escarcega, 35, New York, N.Y.
Jose Espinal, 31
Fanny M. Espinoza, 29, Teaneck, N.J.
Francis Esposito, 32, New York, N.Y.
Lt. Michael Esposito, 41, New York, N.Y.
William Esposito, 51, Bellmore, N.Y.
Brigette Ann Esposito, 34, New York, N.Y.
Ruben Esquilin, 35, New York, N.Y.
Sadie Ette, 36, New York, N.Y.
Barbara G. Etzold, 43, Jersey City, N.J.
Eric Brian Evans, 31, Weehawken, N.J.
Robert Edward Evans, 36, Franklin Square, N.Y.
Meredith Emily June Ewart, 29, Hoboken, N.J.
Catherine K. Fagan, 58, New York, N.Y.
Patricia M. Fagan, 55, Toms River, N.J.
Keith G. Fairben, 24, Floral Park, N.Y.
Charles S. Falkenberg, 45, University Park, Md.
Zoe Falkenberg, 8, University Park, Md.
Dana Falkenberg, 3, of University Park, Md.
Jamie Lynn Fallon, 23, Woodbridge, Va.
William Fallon, 38, Coram, N.Y.
William F. Fallon, 53, Rocky Hill, N.J.
Anthony J. Fallone, 39, New York, N.Y.
Dolores B. Fanelli, 38, Farmingville, N.Y.
Robert Fangman, 33, Claymont, Del.
John Joseph Fanning, 54, West Hempstead, N.Y.
Kathleen (Kit) Faragher, 33, Denver, Colo.
Capt. Thomas Farino, 37, Bohemia, N.Y.
Nancy Carole Farley, 45, Jersey City, N.J.
Paige Farley-Hackel, 46, Newton, Mass.
Elizabeth Ann (Betty) Farmer, 62, New York, N.Y.
Douglas Farnum, 33, New York, N.Y.
John W. Farrell, 41, Basking Ridge, N.J.
Terrence Patrick Farrell, 45, Huntington, N.Y.
John G. Farrell, 32, New York, N.Y.
Capt. Joseph Farrelly, 47, New York, N.Y.
Thomas P. Farrelly, 54, East Northport, N.Y.
Syed Abdul Fatha, 54, Newark, N.J.
Christopher Faughnan, 37, South Orange, N.J.
Wendy R. Faulkner, 47, Mason, Ohio
Shannon M. Fava, 30, New York, N.Y.
Bernard D. Favuzza, 52, Suffern, N.Y.
Robert Fazio, 41, Freeport, N.Y.
Ronald C. Fazio, 57, Closter, N.J.
William Feehan, 72, New York, N.Y.
Francis J. (Frank) Feely, 41, Middletown, N.Y.
Garth E. Feeney, 28, New York, N.Y.
Sean B. Fegan, 34, New York, N.Y.
Lee S. Fehling, 28, Wantagh, N.Y.
Peter Feidelberg, 34, Hoboken, N.J.
Alan D. Feinberg, 48, New York, N.Y.
Rosa Maria Feliciano, 30, New York, N.Y.
Edward P. Felt, 41, Matawan, N.J.
Edward T. Fergus, 40, Wilton, Conn.
James Joe Ferguson, 39, Washington, D.C.
George Ferguson, 54, Teaneck, N.J.
Henry Fernandez, 23, New York, N.Y.
Judy H. Fernandez, 27, Parlin, N.J.
Jose Manuel Contreras Fernandez, El Aguacate, Jalisco, Mexico
Elisa Giselle Ferraina, 27, London, England
Anne Marie Sallerin Ferreira, 29, Jersey City, N.J.
Robert John Ferris, 63, Garden City, N.Y.
David Francis Ferrugio, 46, Middletown, N.J.
Louis V. Fersini, 38, Basking Ridge, N.J.
Michael David Ferugio, 37, New York, N.Y.
Bradley James Fetchet, 24, New York, N.Y.
Jennifer Louise Fialko, 29, Teaneck, N.J.
Kristen Fiedel, 27, New York, N.Y.
Amelia V. Fields, 36, Dumfries, Va.
Samuel Fields, 36, New York, N.Y.
Alex Filipov, 70, Concord, Massachusetts
Michael Bradley Finnegan, 37, Basking Ridge, N.J.
Timothy J. Finnerty, 33, Glen Rock, N.J.
Michael Curtis Fiore, 46, New York, N.Y.
Stephen J. Fiorelli, 43, Aberdeen, N.J.
Paul M. Fiori, 31, Yorktown Heights, N.Y.
John Fiorito, 40, Stamford, Conn.
Lt. John R. Fischer, 46, New York, N.Y.
Gerald P. Fisher, 57, Potomac, Md.
Andrew Fisher, 42, New York, N.Y.
Thomas J. Fisher, 36, Union, N.J.
Bennett Lawson Fisher, 58, Stamford, Conn.
John Roger Fisher, 46, Bayonne, N.J.
Lucy Fishman, 37, New York, N.Y.
Ryan D. Fitzgerald, 26, New York, N.Y.
Thomas Fitzpatrick, 35, Tuckahoe, N.Y.
Richard P. Fitzsimons, 57, Lynbrook, N.Y.
Salvatore A. Fiumefreddo, 47, Manalapan, N.J.
Wilson "Bud" Flagg, 63, Millwood, Va.
Darlene Flagg, 63, Millwood, Va.
Christina Donovan Flannery, 26, New York, N.Y.
Eileen Flecha, 33, New York, N.Y.
Andre G. Fletcher, 37, North Babylon, N.Y.
Carl Flickinger, 38, Conyers, N.Y.
Matthew Michael Flocco, 21, Newark, Del.
John Joseph Florio, 33, Oceanside, N.Y.
Joseph W. Flounders, 46, East Stroudsburg, Pa.
Carol Flyzik, 40, Plaistow, N.H.
David Fodor, 38, Garrison, N.Y.
Lt. Michael N. Fodor, 53, Warwick, N.Y.
Steven Mark Fogel, 40, Westfield, N.Y.
Thomas Foley, 32, West Nyack, N.Y.
Jane C. Folger, 73, Bayonne, N.J.
David Fontana, 37, New York, N.Y.
Chih Min (Dennis) Foo, 40, Holmdel, N.J.
Del Rose Forbes-Cheatham, 48, New York, N.Y.
Godwin Forde, 39, New York, N.Y.
Donald A. Foreman, 53, New York, N.Y.
Christopher Hugh Forsythe, 44, Basking Ridge, N.J.
Sandra N. Foster, 41, Clinton, Md.
Claudia Alicia Martinez Foster, 26, New York, N.Y.
Noel J. Foster, 40, Bridgewater, N.J.
Ana Fosteris, 58, Coram, N.Y.
Robert J. Foti, 42, Albertson, N.Y.
Jeffrey L. Fox, 40, Cranbury, N.J.
Virginia Fox, 58, New York, N.Y.
Virgin (Lucy) Francis, 62, New York, N.Y.
Pauline Francis, 57, New York, N.Y.
Joan Francis
Gary J. Frank, 35, South Amboy, N.J.
Morton Frank, 31, New York, N.Y.
Peter Christopher Frank, 29, New York, N.Y.
Colleen Laura Fraser, 51, Elizabeth, N.J.
Richard K. Fraser, 32, New York, N.Y.
Kevin Joseph Frawley, 34, Bronxville, N.Y.
Clyde Frazier, 41, New York, N.Y.
Lillian I. Frederick, 46, Teaneck, N.J.
Andrew Fredericks, 40, Suffern, N.Y.
Tamitha Freemen, 35, New York, N.Y.
Brett O. Freiman, 29, Roslyn, N.Y.
Lt. Peter L. Freund, 45, Westtown, N.Y.
Arlene E. Fried, 49, Roslyn Heights, N.Y.
Alan Wayne Friedlander, 52, Yorktown Heights, N.Y.
Paul Friedman, 45, Belmont, Massachusetts
Andrew K. Friedman, 44, Woodbury, N.Y.
Gregg J. Froehner, 46, Chester, N.J.
Lisa Frost, 22, Rancho Santa Margarita, Calif.
Peter Christian Fry, 36, Wilton, Conn.
Clement Fumando, 59, New York, N.Y.
Steven Elliot Furman, 40, Wesley Hills, N.Y.
Paul James Furmato, 37, Colts Neck, N.J.
Karleton D.B. Fyfe, 31, Brookline, Massachusetts
Fredric Gabler, 30, New York, N.Y.
Richard Gabriel, 54, Great Falls, Va.
Richard S. Gabrielle, 50, West Haven, Conn.
James Andrew Gadiel, 23, New York, N.Y.
Pamela Gaff, 51, Robinsville, N.J.
Ervin Vincent Gailliard, 42, New York, N.Y.
Deanna L. Galante, 32, New York, N.Y.
Grace Galante, 29, New York, N.Y.
Anthony Edward Gallagher, 41, New York, N.Y.
Daniel James Gallagher, 23, Red Bank, N.J.
John Patrick Gallagher, 31, Yonkers, N.Y.
Cono E. Gallo, 30, New York, N.Y.
Vincenzo Gallucci, 36, Monroe Township, N.J.
Thomas Edward Galvin, 32, New York, N.Y.
Giovanna (Genni) Gambale, 27, New York, N.Y.
Thomas Gambino, 48, Babylon, N.Y.
Ronald Gamboa, 33, Los Angeles, Calif.
Giann F. Gamboa, 26, New York, N.Y.
Peter J. Ganci, 55, North Massapequa, N.Y.
Claude Michael Gann, 41, Roswell, Ga.
Lt. Charles William Garbarini, 44, Pleasantville, N.Y.
Andrew Garcia, 62, Portola Valley, Calif.
Cesar Garcia, 36, New York, N.Y.
David Garcia, 40, Freeport, N.Y.
Jorge Luis Morron Garcia, 38, New York, N.Y.
Juan Garcia, 50, New York, N.Y.
Marlyn C. Garcia, 21, New York, N.Y.
Christopher Gardner, 36, Darien, Conn.
Douglas B. Gardner, 39, New York, N.Y.
Harvey J. Gardner, 35, Lakewood, N.J.
Thomas A. Gardner, 39, Oceanside, N.Y.
Jeffrey B. Gardner, 36, Hoboken, N.J.
William Arthur Gardner, 45, Lynbrook, N.Y.
Francesco Garfi, 29, New York, N.Y.
Rocco Gargano, 28, Bayside, N.Y.
James M. Gartenberg, 36, New York, N.Y.
Matthew David Garvey, 37
Bruce Gary, 51, Bellmore, N.Y.
Palmina Delli Gatti, 33, New York, N.Y.
Boyd A. Gatton, 38, Jersey City, N.J.
Donald Richard Gavagan, 35, New York, N.Y.
Peter Gay, 54, Tewksbury, Massachusetts
Terence D. Gazzani, 24, New York, N.Y.
Gary Geidel, 44, New York, N.Y.
Paul Hamilton Geier, 36, Farmingdale, N.Y.
Julie M. Geis, 44, Lees Summit, Mo.
Peter Gelinas, 34, New York, N.Y.
Steven Paul Geller, 52, New York, N.Y.
Howard G. Gelling, 28, New York, N.Y.
Peter Victor Genco, 36, Rockville Centre, N.Y.
Steven Gregory Genovese, 37, Basking Ridge, N.J.
Alayne F. Gentul, 44, Mountain Lakes, N.J.
Linda George, 27, Westboro, Massachusetts
Edward F. Geraghty, 45, Rockville Centre, N.Y.
Suzanne Geraty, 30, New York, N.Y.
Ralph Gerhardt, 33, New York, N.Y.
Robert J. Gerlich, 56, Monroe, Conn.
Denis P. Germain, 33, Tuxedo Park, N.Y.
Marina R. Gertsberg, 25, New York, N.Y.
Susan M. Getzendanner, 57, New York, N.Y.
Capt. Lawrence Daniel Getzfred, 57, Elgin, Neb.
James Gerard Geyer, 41, Rockville Centre, N.Y.
Cortz Ghee, 54, Reisterstown, Md.
Joseph M. Giaccone, 43, Monroe, N.J.
Lt. Vincent Francis Giammona, 40, Valley Stream, N.Y.
Debra L. Gibbon, 43, Hackettstown, N.J.
James A. Giberson, 43, New York, N.Y.
Brenda C. Gibson, 59, Falls Church, Va.
Craig Neil Gibson, 37, New York, N.Y.
Ronnie Gies, 43, Merrick, N.Y.
Laura A. Giglio, 35, Oceanside, N.Y.
Andrew Clive Gilbert, 39, Califon, N.J.
Timothy Paul Gilbert, 35, Lebanon, N.J.
Paul Stuart Gilbey, 39, Chatham, N.J.
Paul John Gill, 34, New York, N.Y.
Mark Y. Gilles, 33, New York, N.Y.
Evan H. Gillette, 40, New York, N.Y.
Ronald Gilligan, 43, Norwalk, Conn.
Sgt. Rodney C. Gillis, 34, New York, N.Y.
Laura Gilly, 32, New York, N.Y.
Lt. John F. Ginley, 37, Warwick, N.Y.
Jeffrey Giordano, 46, New York, N.Y.
John Giordano, 46, Newburgh, N.Y.
Donna Marie Giordano, 44, Parlin, N.J.
Steven A. Giorgetti, 43, Manhasset, N.Y.
Martin Giovinazzo, 34, New York, N.Y.
Kum-Kum Girolamo, 41, New York, N.Y.
Salvatore Gitto, 44, Manalapan, N.J.
Cynthia Giugliano, 46, Nesconset, N.Y.
Mon Gjonbalaj, 65, New York, N.Y.
Dianne Gladstone, 55, New York, N.Y.
Keith Alexander Glascoe, 38, New York, N.Y.
Thomas I. Glasser, 40, Summit, N.J.
Edmund Glazer, 41, Los Angeles, California
Harry Glenn, 38, Piscataway, N.J.
Jeremy Glick, 31, Hewlett, N.J.
Barry H. Glick, 55, Wayne, N.J.
Steven Lawrence Glick, 42, Greenwich, Conn.
John T. Gnazzo, 32, New York, N.Y.
William (Bill) Robert Godshalk, 35, New York, N.Y.
Michael Gogliormella, 43, New Providence, N.J.
Brian Fredric Goldberg, 26, Union, N.J.
Jeffrey Grant Goldflam, 48, Melville, N.Y.
Michelle Herman Goldstein, 31, New York, N.Y.
Monica Goldstein, 25, New York, N.Y.
Steven Goldstein, 35, Princeton, N.J.
Ron Golinski, 60, Columbia, Md.
Andrew H. Golkin, 30, New York, N.Y.
Dennis James Gomes, 40, New York, N.Y.
Enrique Antonio Gomez, 42, New York, N.Y.
Jose Bienvenido Gomez, 45, New York, N.Y.
Manuel Gomez, 42, New York, N.Y.
Wilder Gomez, 38, New York, N.Y.
Jenine Gonzalez, 27, New York, N.Y.
Joel Guevara Gonzalez, 23, Aguascalientes, Aguascalientes, Mexico
Rosa J. Gonzalez, 32, Jersey City, N.J.
Mauricio Gonzalez, 27, New York, N.Y.
Lynn Catherine Goodchild, 25, Attleboro, Mass.
Calvin J. Gooding, 38, Riverside, N.Y.
Peter Morgan Goodrich, 33, Sudbury, Mass.
Harry Goody, 50, New York, N.Y.
Kiran Reddy Gopu, 24, Bridgeport, Conn.
Catherine Carmen Gorayeb, 41, New York, N.Y.
Lisa Fenn Gordenstein, 41, Needham, Massachusetts
Kerene Gordon, 43, New York, N.Y.
Sebastian Gorki, 27, New York, N.Y.
Thomas E. Gorman, 41, Middlesex, N.J.
Kieran Gorman, 35, Yonkers, N.Y.
Michael Edward Gould, 29, Hoboken, N.J.
Douglas A. Gowell, 52, Methuen, Mass.
Yugi Goya, 42, Rye, N.Y.
Jon Richard Grabowski, 33, New York, N.Y.
Christopher Michael Grady, 39, Cranford, N.J.
Edwin John Graf, 48, Rowayton, Conn.
David M. Graifman, 40, New York, N.Y.
Gilbert Granados, 51, Hicksville, N.Y.
Lauren Grandcolas, 38, San Rafael, Calif.
Elvira Granitto, 43, New York, N.Y.
Winston Arthur Grant, 59, West Hempstead, N.Y.
Ian J. Gray, 55, Columbia, Md.
Christopher Stewart Gray, 32, Weehawken, N.J.
James Michael Gray, 34, New York, N.Y.
Linda Mair Grayling, 44, New York, N.Y.
John Michael Grazioso, 41, Middletown, N.J.
Timothy Grazioso, 42, Gulf Stream, Fla.
Andrew Peter Charles Curry Green, 34, Santa Monica, Calif.
Wanda Anita Green, 49, Linden, N.J.
Derrick Arthur Green, 44, New York, N.Y.
Wade Brian Green, 42, Westbury, N.Y.
Elaine Myra Greenberg, 56, New York, N.Y.
Gayle R. Greene, 51, Montville, N.J.
Donald F. Greene, 52, Greenwich, Conn.
James Arthur Greenleaf, 32, New York, N.Y.
Eileen Marsha Greenstein, 52, Morris Plains, N.J.
Elizabeth (Lisa) Martin Gregg, 52, New York, N.Y.
Donald H. Gregory, 62, Ramsey, N.J.
Florence M. Gregory, 38, New York, N.Y.
Denise Gregory, 39, New York, N.Y.
Pedro (David) Grehan, 35, Hoboken, N.J.
John M. Griffin, 38, Waldwick, N.J.
Tawanna Griffin, 30, New York, N.Y.
Joan D. Griffith, 39, Willingboro, N.J.
Warren Grifka, 54, New York, N.Y.
Ramon Grijalvo, 58
Joseph F. Grillo, 46, New York, N.Y.
David Grimner, 51, Merrick, N.Y.
The Rev. Francis E. Grogan, 76, of Easton, Mass.
Linda Gronlund, 46, Warwick, N.Y.
Kenneth Grouzalis, 56, Lyndhurst, N.J.
Joseph Grzelak, 52, New York, N.Y.
Matthew J. Grzymalski, 34, New Hyde Park, N.Y.
Robert Joseph Gschaar, 55, Spring Valley, N.Y.
Liming (Michael) Gu, 34, Piscataway, N.J.
Richard Guadagno, 38, of Eureka, Calif.
Jose A. Guadalupe, 37, New York, N.Y.
Yan Zhu (Cindy) Guan, 25, New York, N.Y.
Geoffrey E. Guja, 47, Lindenhurst, N.Y.
Lt. Joseph Gullickson, 37, New York, N.Y.
Babita Guman, 33, New York, N.Y.
Douglas B. Gurian, 38, Tenafly, N.J.
Philip T. Guza, 54, Sea Bright, N.J.
Barbara Guzzardo, 49, Glendale, N.Y.
Peter Gyulavary, 44, Warwick, N.Y.
Gary Robert Haag, 36, Ossining, N.Y.
Andrea Lyn Haberman, 25, Chicago, Ill.
Barbara M. Habib, 49, New York, N.Y.
Philip Haentzler, 49, New York, N.Y.
Nizam A. Hafiz, 32, New York, N.Y.
Karen Hagerty, 34, New York, N.Y.
Steven Hagis, 31, New York, N.Y.
Mary Lou Hague, 26, New York, N.Y.
David Halderman, 40, New York, N.Y.
Maile Rachel Hale, 26, Cambridge, Mass.
Diane M. Hale-McKinzy, 38, Alexandria, Va.
Stanley Hall, 68, Rancho Palos Verdes, Calif.
Richard Hall, 49, Purchase, N.Y.
Vaswald George Hall, 50, New York, N.Y.
Robert John Halligan, 59, Basking Ridge, N.J.
Lt. Vincent Gerard Halloran, 43, North Salem, N.Y.
Carolyn B. Halmon, 49, Washington, D.C.
James D. Halvorson, 56, Greenwich, Conn.
Mohammad Salman Hamdani, 23, New York, N.Y.
Felicia Hamilton, 62, New York, N.Y.
Robert Hamilton, 43, Washingtonville, N.Y.
Carl Max Hammond, 37, Derry, N.H.
Frederic Kim Han, 45, Marlboro, N.J.
Christopher James Hanley, 34, New York, N.Y.
Sean Hanley, 35, New York, N.Y.
Valerie Joan Hanna, 57, Freeville, N.Y.
Thomas Hannafin, 36, New York, N.Y.
Kevin James Hannaford, 32, Basking Ridge, N.J.
Michael L. Hannan, 34, Lynbrook, N.Y.
Dana Hannon, 29, Suffern, N.Y.
Peter Hanson, 32, Groton, Mass.
Sue Kim Hanson, 35, Groton, Mass.
Christine Lee Hanson, 2, Groton, Mass.
Vassilios G. Haramis, 56, New York, N.Y.
James A. Haran, 41, Malverne, N.Y.
Gerald F. Hardacre, 61, Carlsbad, Calif.
Jeffrey P. Hardy, 46, New York, N.Y.
Timothy John Hargrave, 38, Readington, N.J.
Daniel Harlin, 41, Kent, N.Y.
Frances Haros, 76, New York, N.Y.
Lt. Harvey L. Harrell, 49, New York, N.Y.
Lt. Stephen Gary Harrell, 44, Warwick, N.Y.
Stewart D. Harris, 52, Marlboro, N.J.
Aisha Harris, 22, New York, N.Y.
John Patrick Hart, 38, Danville, Calif.
Eric Samadikan Hartono, 20, Boston, Mass.
John Clinton Hartz, 64, Basking Ridge, N.J.
Emeric J. Harvey, 56, Montclair, N.J.
Peter Hashem, 40, Tewksbury, Massachusetts
Capt. Thomas Theodore Haskell, 37, Massapequa, N.Y.
Timothy Haskell, 34, Seaford, N.Y.
Joseph John Hasson, 34, New York, N.Y.
Capt. Terence S. Hatton, 41, New York, N.Y.
Leonard William Hatton, 45, Ridgefield Park, N.J.
Michael Helmut Haub, 34, Roslyn Heights, N.Y.
Timothy Aaron Haviland, 41, Oceanside, N.Y.
Donald G. Havlish, 53, Yardley, Pa.
Anthony Hawkins, 30, New York, N.Y.
Nobuhiro Hayatsu, 36, Scarsdale, N.Y.
James E. Hayden, 47, Westford, Mass.
Robert Hayes, 37, from Amesbury, Massachusetts
Philip Hayes, 67, Northport, N.Y.
William Ward Haynes, 35, Rye, N.Y.
Scott Hazelcorn, 29, Hoboken, N.J.
Lt. Michael K. Healey, 42, East Patchogue, N.Y.
Roberta Bernstein Heber, 60, New York, N.Y.
Charles Francis Xavier Heeran, 23, Belle Harbor, N.Y.
John Heffernan, 37, New York, N.Y.
Michele Heidenberger, 57, Chevy Chase, Md.
Sheila Hein, 51, University Park, Md.
Howard Joseph Heller, 37, Ridgefield, Conn.
JoAnn L. Heltibridle, 46, Springfield, N.J.
Ronald John Hemenway, 37, Shawnee, Kan.
Mark F. Hemschoot, 45, Red Bank, N.J.
Ronnie Lee Henderson, 52, Newburgh, N.Y.
Janet Hendricks, 48, New York, N.Y.
Brian Hennessey, 35, Ringoes, N.J.
Edward (Ted) R. Hennessy, 35, Belmont, Mass.
Michelle Marie Henrique, 27, New York, N.Y.
Joseph P. Henry, 25, New York, N.Y.
William Henry, 49, New York, N.Y.
John Henwood, 35, New York, N.Y.
Robert Allan Hepburn, 39, Union, N.J.
Mary (Molly) Herencia, 47, New York, N.Y.
Lindsay Coates Herkness, 58, New York, N.Y.
Harvey Robert Hermer, 59, New York, N.Y.
Claribel Hernandez, 31, New York, N.Y.
Norberto Hernandez, 42, New York, N.Y.
Raul Hernandez, 51, New York, N.Y.
Gary Herold, 44, Farmingdale, N.Y.
Jeffrey A. Hersch, 53, New York, N.Y.
Thomas Hetzel, 33, Elmont, N.Y.
Capt. Brian Hickey, 47, New York, N.Y.
Ysidro Hidalgo-Tejada, 47, New York, N.Y., Dominican Republic
Lt. Timothy Higgins, 43, Farmingville, N.Y.
Robert D. Higley, 29, New Fairfield, Conn.
Todd Russell Hill, 34, Boston, Mass.
Clara Victorine Hinds, 52, New York, N.Y.
Neal Hinds, 28, New York, N.Y.
Mark D. Hindy, 28, New York, N.Y.
Richard Bruce Van Hine, 48, Greenwood Lake, N.Y.
Katsuyuki Hirai, 32, Hartsdale, N.Y.
Heather Malia Ho, 32, New York, N.Y.
Tara Yvette Hobbs, 31, New York, N.Y.
Thomas A. Hobbs, 41, Baldwin, N.Y.
James L. Hobin, 47, Marlborough, Conn.
Robert Wayne Hobson, 36, New Providence, N.J.
DaJuan Hodges, 29, New York, N.Y.
Ronald George Hoerner, 58, Massapequa Park, N.Y.
Patrick Aloysius Hoey, 53, Middletown, N.J.
John A. Hofer, 45, Los Angeles, Calif.
Stephen G. Hoffman, 36, Long Beach, N.Y.
Marcia Hoffman, 52, New York, N.Y.
Frederick J. Hoffmann, 53, Freehold, N.J.
Michele L. Hoffmann, 27, Freehold, N.J.
Judith Florence Hofmiller, 53, Brookfield, Conn.
Maj. Wallace Cole Hogan, 40, Fla.
Thomas Warren Hohlweck, 57, Harrison, N.Y.
Jonathan R. Hohmann, 48, New York, N.Y.
Cora Hidalgo Holland, 52, of Sudbury, Massachusetts
John Holland, 30
Joseph Francis Holland, 32, Glen Rock, N.J.
Jimmie Ira Holley, 54, Lanham, Md.
Elizabeth Holmes, 42, New York, N.Y.
Thomas P. Holohan, 36, Chester, N.Y.
Herbert W. Homer, 48, Milford, Mass.
Leroy Homer, 36, Marlton, N.J.
Bradley Hoorn, 22, New York, N.Y.
James P. Hopper, 51, Farmingdale, N.Y.
Montgomery McCullough Hord, 46, Pelham, N.Y.
Michael Horn, 27, Lynbrook, N.Y.
Matthew D. Horning, 26, Hoboken, N.J.
Robert L. Horohoe, 31, New York, N.Y.
Michael R. Horrocks, 38, Glen Mills, Pa.
Aaron Horwitz, 24, New York, N.Y.
Charles J. Houston, 42, New York, N.Y.
Uhuru G. Houston, 32, Englewood, N.J.
Angela Houtz, 27, La Plata, Md.
George Howard, 45, Hicksville, N.Y.
Brady K. Howell, 26, Arlington, Va.
Steven L. Howell, 36, New York, N.Y.
Michael C. Howell, 60, New York, N.Y.
Jennifer L. Howley, 34, New Hyde Park, N.Y.
Milagros "Millie" Hromada, 35, New York, N.Y.
Marian Hrycak, 56, New York, N.Y.
Stephen Huczko, 44, Bethlehem, N.J.
Kris R. Hughes, 30, Nesconset, N.Y.
Melissa Harrington Hughes, 31, San Francisco, Calif.
Thomas F. Hughes, 46, Spring Lake Heights, N.J.
Timothy Robert Hughes, 43, Madison, N.J.
Paul R. Hughes, 38, Stamford, Conn.
Robert T. "Bobby" Hughes, 23, Sayreville, N.J.
Susan Huie, 43, Fair Lawn, N.J.
Mychal Lamar Hulse, 30, New York, N.Y.
Nicholas Humber, 60, of Newton, Massachusetts,
William C. Hunt, 32, Norwalk, Conn.
Joseph G. Hunter, 31, South Hempstead, N.Y.
Peggie Hurt, 36, Crewe, Va.
Robert Hussa, 51, Roslyn, N.Y.
Lt. Col. Stephen Neil Hyland, 45, Burke, Va.
Robert J. Hymel, 55, Woodbridge, Va.
Capt. Walter Hynes, 46, Belle Harbor, N.Y.
Thomas E. Hynes, 28, Norwalk, Conn.
Joseph Anthony Ianelli, 28, Hoboken, N.J.
Zuhtu Ibis, 25, Clifton, N.J.
Jonathan Lee Ielpi, 29, Great Neck, N.Y.
Michael Patrick Iken, 37, New York, N.Y.
Daniel Ilkanayev, 36, New York, N.Y.
Capt. Frederick Ill, 49, Pearl River, N.Y.
Abraham Nethanel Ilowitz, 51, New York, N.Y.
Anthony P. Infante, 47, Chatham, N.J.
Louis S. Inghilterra, 45, New Castle, N.Y.
Christopher N. Ingrassia, 28, Watchung, N.J.
Paul Innella, 33, East Brunswick, N.J.
Stephanie V. Irby, 38, New York, N.Y.
Douglas Irgang, 32, New York, N.Y.
Todd A. Isaac, 29, New York, N.Y.
Erik Hans Isbrandtsen, 30, New York, N.Y.
Taizo Ishikawa, 50
Waleed Iskandar, 34, London, England
Aram Iskenderian, 41, Merrick, N.Y.
John Iskyan, 41, Wilton, Conn.
Kazushige Ito, 35, New York, N.Y.
Aleksandr Valeryerich Ivantsov, 23, New York, N.Y.
Sgt. Maj. Lacey B. Ivory, 43, Woodbridge, Va.
Virginia Jablonski, 49, Matawan, N.J.
Bryan Jack, 48, Alexandria, Va.
Brooke Alexandra Jackman, 23, New York, N.Y.
Aaron Jacobs, 27, New York, N.Y.
Jason Kyle Jacobs, 32, Mendham, N.J.
Michael Grady Jacobs, 54, Danbury, Conn.
Ariel Louis Jacobs, 29, Briarcliff Manor, N.Y.
Steven A. Jacobson, 53, New York, N.Y.
Steven D. Jacoby, 43, Alexandria, Va.
Ricknauth Jaggernauth, 58, New York, N.Y.
Jake Denis Jagoda, 24, Huntington, N.Y.
Yudh V.S. Jain, 54, New City, N.Y.
Maria Jakubiak, 41, Ridgewood, N.Y.
Robert Adrien Jalbert, 61, Swampscott, Mass.
Gricelda E. James, 44, Willingboro, N.J.
Ernest James, 40, New York, N.Y.
Mark Jardim, 39, New York, N.Y.
Amy N. Jarret, 28, North Smithfield, R.I.
Mohammed Jawara, 30, New York, N.Y.
Francois Jean-Pierre, 58, New York, N.Y.
Maxima Jean-Pierre, 40, Bellport, N.Y.
Paul E. Jeffers, 39, New York, N.Y.
John Charles Jenkins, 45, Cambridge, Mass.
Joseph Jenkins, 47, New York, N.Y.
Alan K. Jensen, 49, Wyckoff, N.J.
Prem N. Jerath, 57, Edison, N.J.
Farah Jeudy, 32, Spring Valley, N.Y.
Hweidar Jian, 42, East Brunswick, N.J.
Eliezer Jimenez, 38, New York, N.Y.
Luis Jimenez, 25, New York, N.Y.
Charles Gregory John, 44, New York, N.Y.
Nicholas John, 42, New York, N.Y.
Lt. Col. Dennis M. Johnson, 48, Port Edwards, Wis.
Scott M. Johnson, 26, New York, N.Y.
LaShawana Johnson, 27, New York, N.Y.
William Johnston, 31, North Babylon, N.Y.
Charles Edward Jones, 48, Bedford, Mass.
Judith Jones, 53, Woodbridge, Va.
Allison Horstmann Jones, 31, New York, N.Y.
Arthur Joseph Jones, 37, Ossining, N.Y.
Brian L. Jones, 44, New York, N.Y.
Christopher D. Jones, 53, Huntington, N.Y.
Donald T. Jones, 39, Livingston, N.J.
Donald W. Jones, 43, Fairless Hills, Pa.
Linda Jones, 50, New York, N.Y.
Mary S. Jones, 72, New York, N.Y.
Andrew Jordan, 35, Remsenburg, N.Y.
Robert Thomas Jordan, 34, Williston, N.Y.
Ingeborg Joseph, 60, Germany
Karl Henri Joseph, 25, New York, N.Y.
Stephen Joseph, 39, Franklin Park, N.J.
Albert Joseph, 79
Jane Eileen Josiah, 47, Bellmore, N.Y.
Lt. Anthony Jovic, 39, Massapequa, N.Y.
Angel Luis Juarbe, 35, New York, N.Y.
Karen Susan Juday, 52, New York, N.Y.
Ann Judge, 49, Great Falls, Va.
The Rev. Mychal Judge, 68, New York, N.Y.
Paul W. Jurgens, 47, Levittown, N.Y.
Thomas Edward Jurgens, 26, Lawrence, N.Y.
Kacinga Kabeya, 63, McKinney, Texas
Shashi Kiran Lakshmikantha Kadaba, 25, Hackensack, N.J.

Still Trudging Onward

2011-07-02T17:06:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone.

Wow, I haven't posted since February! Really? It CAN'T have been that long!!! I am sorry.

I have to say, some of you have been so kind lately as to send me gentle nudges about updating. Thanks for that. The texts, the phone calls, the e-mails and letters all do encourage me so much and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that you all have not given up on me. I haven't either.

So what's new?

First, I am still fighting depression. Sometimes I think I am winning and other times I want to crawl into bed and never come out. But I keep plugging at it. It cannot last forever. Quite honestly one of my big struggles is my marriage. I have been married nearly 21 years and I have been very unhappy within that for at least 12 of them. I won't go into details because I don't think it is appropriate to do so, but it is a huge contributor to the depression.

Next: I finally got the phone call I had been waiting for for over a year. While having lunch with a very close friend my cell phone rang and it was a number I did not recognize. I answered and the call went something like this:

Hello?

Hello, is this "Hot Flash"?

Yes.

Hi, this is (fill in the blank) from Rural Metro Ambulance. I am calling because some time ago you applied for an EMT-Basic position. Are you still interested?

(I could hardly contain my enthusiasm at this point!)

Not just yes but HECK yes!!

From there arrangements were made for me to come in for an interview. This would consist of a written exam, a practical exam and a panel interview with three evaluators. I had two weeks to prepare. My close friend was as ecstatic as I was. He is a retired firefighter paramedic and has talked with me at length about my goals and dreams. We hugged and laughed and he gave me some encouragement and advice before we parted and I went back to work for the afternoon.

I could not stop thinking about how long I had waited for this opportunity and how badly I wanted the job. But at the same time, I had never interviewed for an EMS position before. I did not really know what to expect or how best to prepare myself. In addition, this all happened at the BUSIEST time of year for me at work. I did not know how I was going to pull this off but I told myself... "You have to just do it. It's not like someone is going to call 911 and you will be able to say, 'call back later, I'm busy'!"

Over the next two weeks I did not get much time to study or prepare and I was feeling very rusty. I have been out of school for over a year and the only practice I have had has been at OTEP classes (Ongoing training that occurs monthly). Finally the day of the interview arrived.

I walked in to the office about ten minutes early and was told to take a seat. I waited patiently as assorted EMT's and Paramedics passed through the small office on their way into work. Being shy was going to get me no where and I knew it so I made a point of saying hello or good morning to each one. Most said hello or good morning back but a couple actually took the time to have a small conversation with me and wished me luck. That was a nice start.

Finally it was my turn to go back and start this process. I was taken to a large table in a meeting room where there were three other candidates all working on their written exams. One was placed in front of me and I was directed to start whenever I was ready. The exam was challenging. I know that I know what I am supposed to, yet it seemed daunting. I have no idea how I did on that exam but the last question was the worst. It was something along the lines of, "Do you feel this exam was an accurate assessment of your skills and knowledge?" How the heck should I answer THAT? If I say yes and I did terribly then I am saying I suck. If I say no I am being critical of their selection process. Finally I decided to say yes. It asked good questions, none were surprises. How could I answer any other way?

I was supposed to go from the written exam to the oral board. I was wishing I could do the practical exam first. That is what is most threatening to me. When I have been on a run, I just responded. I don't think about it.. I react and do what I am trained to do. When it is an evaluation... I get stuck in my head. I worry about if I am doing it right. If I could just get this out of the way I could relax for the oral boards. But that is not how it was set up. As I waited I tried to convince myself that it would be a piece of cake. I knew my stuff and all I had to do was make it real in my head. Finally someone came into the room and called a name. It was the name of the person who had last headed out of the room for the oral boards (a fellow EMT from my class). I told the RM employee that the other person was in the oral board interview. He looked at me and said, "Well then, you must be "HotFlash". I was the only female applicant there so it was a no brainer. I nodded affirmatively and he said, "Then you are the next lucky contestant."

I followed him to another room. He was rather laid back in his demeanor and made me feel fairly comfortable right away. He told me to look over what equipment was set out for the scenario and told me that everything I would need should be there already. When I had glanced over what was where, he asked if I was ready to begin. I noticed upon glancing through things that there were only extra large gloves. I wear smalls. Extra large gloves would leave a full inch of empty finger above the tips of mine. That makes it difficult to work. I asked if they had any smaller gloves. He said there should be but then was unable to produce them. He searched for quite a while and I said a few minutes into it not to worry, I would make do. He kept trying and I felt uncomfortable that I was making things difficult. Finally he decided to let me make do with the extra larges.

He told me what the scenario was. A call had come in for a fiftyfour y/o male who had collapsed while watching television. No other information.

I arrived on scene, made sure the scene was safe and put my gloves on as I verbalized it to be so and BSI (body substance isolation measures). Upon entering the room a care giver was performing cpr on the patient who was apparently in full cardiac arrest. I observed the cpr being given as adequate as I obtained a brief history from the caregiver and I directed my ghost engine crew to take over cpr and initiate oxygen therapy with a bvm (bag valve mask). I requested ALS (Advanced Life Support) backup and then I discovered there was no remarkable history, the patient was on blood pressure medications and cpr had been underway for approximately five minutes since the patient collapsed with out warning. I prepared the AED (automated external defibrillator) as I was listening and questioning the caregiver. Frustratingly the AED model available to me was not one I was familiar with and it felt like I was taking forever to figure out how to set it up properly. I could not seem to figure out where to plug the wires in. It probably only took me a few seconds but I still felt awkward and I commented that I was not familiar with that model. Finally I figured it out, the patient was analyzed, shock was advised and I delivered it. The patient still had no pulse and CPR was continued for another two minutes. I reanalyzed, reshocked and continued cpr again and one more time after that. At some point during the scenario I was told that the patient was not getting adequate ventilation and I then placed an oral airway adjunct and continued treating my patient. Before long, the evaluator thanked me and told me that despite my best efforts the patient didn't make it. He asked me if I had any questions. I asked about the on the job training that I was told would happen if I was hired. He told me what it consisted of and expressed his own disappointment that it was not more extensive. I did not know what to say to that. Finally I asked, "how did I do?" It was a long shot but I thought I would try anyway lol. He just smiled and said, "Well, you made it through." He had no intentions of telling me one way or the other. Oh well. I tried. :) I thanked him and he walked me back to wait for the oral boards.

My turn came soon enough. I entered feeling much more calm than I would have had the order been reversed. The worst of it was out of the way as far as I was concerned. I entered the room and there was a long table with three men sitting on one side and a seat for me on the other. I said hello and introduced myself, shaking hands with each and was directed to sit. I did. The proceeded to ask me questions. Standards like, "tell us about yourself," and "why do you want to work for Rural Metro Ambulance?" and scenario based questions such as, "You and your partner are transporting a non-critical patient and your partner is driving hard and fast, what do you do?" Another question was, "you are dispatched to the scene of a MVA (motor vehicle accident) and arrive to find a compact car with moderate front end damage and a 69 year old woman trapped in the driver's seat. As you approach the fire chief tells you what has happened and that you will not need your back board so you can just put it back. What do you do?"

I don't know if I answered all the questions the way they had been looking for me to but I did the best I could and I left feeling pretty good about the interview as well. The entire time I was there was about two hours and in that time I never saw another female applicant. I know one of my friends and fellow EMT classmates had an interview later that afternoon so there were at least two of us. I later found out she never saw another female applicant either.

Now came the hardest part of all. Hurry up and wait. My interview was on a Tuesday and I did not hear back until nine days later. It came in the form of a letter. I knew before I opened it that it could not be good news. I did not get hired and neither did either of my two fellow EMT classmates. I was disappointed but not upset. I am not giving up.

I still maintain that God did not clear the obstacles he did for me to be trained for me to do nothing with it. Some day, some where I will get my chance to shine. I was born to do this and I have no doubts about that. Grant me patience Lord, but please hurry.

Stay safe my friends.

Hotflash out.

Tearing Down the Mountain

2011-02-05T13:15:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone.

I know it has been a long time again since I posted but I also know I have a few faithful followers who check in here to see how I am doing. It is comforting to know that people care and want to see me get past this horrible mountain that stands between me and success lately.

Depression is a horrible thing. It doesn't just make one sad, lonely or doubtful. It takes away the desire to fix it. It blocks the creativity to find solutions. It zaps one's energy and self esteem. I am not telling you all this to whine. I know that with continued prayers and my medication this WILL eventually pass. I am telling you so you have some idea of where I am coming from, why I don't keep in touch. Everything I enjoy when I am not depressed, no longer brings a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction when I am. I even dread fire calls. I have always loved to serve my fire dept., and to be able to help others on scene. I enjoy the thrill of flashing lights, shiny fire trucks and firefighters running around in their organized chaos as they do their jobs. And I have always enjoyed the camaraderie between fellow Fire Buff Battalion members and the firefighters. But I feel NOTHING when I go now. But still, I DO go. It is one of the few things that I still force myself to do even though the depression weighs me down. And the reason I do still go is because I find a tremendous amount of support in my Fire Buff family. They have been there for me no matter what, sometimes running themselves ragged to take care of fellow member's needs. And the firefighters are SO appreciative of what we do. It is still rewarding to know that we do make a difference...that comes through even through the depression and for that I am truly thankful.

I will try.. as I have promised before... to post more often. I am afraid that posting my progress through this depression may be a downer to you who read it. But I am hoping that if it is you will just skip it. If it does not bring you down then read it if you like, and I appreciate the encouragement from you. And I believe that if I write it down.. maybe it can help to get it out and make this mountain of depression disintegrate into dust so I can have my life back.

I love you all and appreciate your patience, friendship and words of encouragement more than you could ever know.

HUGS!

-Hotflash

The long delinquent Hotflash speaks

2010-10-02T15:45:00.000-07:00

Hi Team!!

And welcome to my newest team member, Dorothy Williamson!

I know I have been delinquent a long time. I have to admit, part of it was laziness, part of it was just busying myself with other stuff and part of it is this funk I've been in since I finished school. But I don't intend to dwell on any of that here so enough said on it.

Thanks 911R for the nudge to get back in here and update everyone. This blog was meant to be an accountability tool to keep me reaching for the goal so your nudge is just the right thing for me. I am not promising weekly posts again for a while though. There just isn't that much going on to post about. I do have a few things to talk about now though.

I am way over due to tell you about the National Registry Exam. I took it on July 16th along with two of my fellow classmates. We all met at a point along the way then carpooled to the test site. We were scheduled within 15 minutes of each other to take the exam. We stopped on the way to have breakfast. A nice little sit down place near the test site served excellent food for a reasonable price and we ate togther while bantering back and forth nervously wishing to get the exam overwith.

Finally it came time for the exam. It is done on a computer. If you answer a question correctly, it gives you a harder one. If you answer a question incorrectly it will give you an easier one. There are up to 150 questions but the better you do on the exam the fewer questions you will have to answer. I had heard the minimum cut off was 70 questions. And I got cut off at 70!!! :) And I felt really good about it too. The test seemed SO much easier that Chief McC's tests!!! Chief McC and Chief L did a fantastic job preparing us!

Now, knowing I had gotten cut off at the minimum and that I felt good about it still didn't make me confident I had passed. We called Chief McC. when we were all finished and when he asked us what number we had gotten cut off at we each told him. When I told him 70 he said, "Well, either you did REALLY, really well or you did really, REALLY poorly."   Inside I knew I had done well but I couldn't buy it until I saw the official results.

I had been told that in most cases, it took only a day to get results online, but that it could take up to two weeks. And remember, as I have said before, I am NOT a waiter. Unfortunately I took the exam on a friday. But I was also told that the results could post by as early as 4:30 that day. I left excited and hopeful.
But 4:30 rolled around and the results were not posted. I remember being very disappointed even though I know it was a long shot. I checked again before I went to bed, LOL, even though I knew if they were not there at 4:30 they would not be there until, at the very least, the next business day. To be honest, I checked several times a day throughout the weekend too. And Monday morning, by which time I was frustrated and having doubts. I'm such a stewer over things and I don't tend to trust my own abilities when I can't see rapid results, even though I really do know better. I'm trying not to say I have low self esteem but at times, that is what it is... or maybe it's even less complicated than that... more straight forward... I am afraid to fail!  To me it is like failure (in any way) means the end of the world! But I really am working on it, so please don't worry about me.   If that was not true about me, I never would have followed through with applying for the EMT program to begin with.

By Monday night I was as anxious as could be. I was out shopping when I got a call from one of my fellow students about their scores. Sadly, it was not good news. And I honestly didn't think the other student had passed either.   (I later found out I was right.) Finally I got home and settled for the evening and walked over to the computer to check again. And I passed!!!!!! Now I am an officially Nationally Registered EMT-B meaning I can sign my name "Hotflash, NREMT-B"

The next step is to find a sponsor. I need to find someone who will sign paperwork to lay claim to me and my skills. Without a sponsor I can not apply with the state to practice what I can do. As I no doubtably have said before, I want to work for a specific ambulance company. (The fire department would be my dream employer, but I can make some compromises). The ambulance company I want to work for has the municipal contract and that means that if the call is BLS (basic life support -meaning the ambulance needs only EMT-B level providers), often times the fire department will have them do the transport of patients. If the call is ALS (advanced life support -for more threatening cases meaning at least one paramedic, aka EMT-P will be providers), but in that case, only if the City Fire Department doesn't feel they have the resources or time to do it, or so it seems.

OKAY NOW I WROTE THAT ABOVE IN SEPTEMBER>> THE VERY FIRST PART>>>>>

I am sorry I never sent it out and never finished it. I am still in quite the funk.. personal / marriage problems have confounded my depression.. YES I've said it finally.. my depression is back :( with a vengeance. but I have not lost hope that i can beat it again.

I want to thank 911r for never giving up on me.... she messages me occasionally to say she misses me and to see if I am okay. What an AWESOME friend I have!

I started this blog as an accountability thing.. to keep myself working towards the goals....

It helped me for a long time to do just that but a tool is only as good as the skill of the person yielding it. and I have not used my skills at making this work for a while now. I am not promising to be here often yet.. I don't have the energy or desire to write much lately.. but I will try to check in sometimes and let you know how I'm doing.

Thanks to all my wonderful friends and my family for the love they show me... Coach Alex is the bestest friend I ever had and I love her very much!   And 911r you are absolutely AMAZING to me. And all of you have been good to me. Thanks.

Love and hugs from me... stay safe!

Hotflash out.. but only until next time! :)

Publish Post

Report From Ladder Company 40. And now for news you've been waiting for... Oh, WAIT!

2010-07-10T13:39:00.000-07:00

Hi Team!!

Wow, It's been a while again since I posted and I have so much catching up to do! I am sorry I didn't keep up because of course the longer I procrastinate, the fewer details I can remember. (That might be a good thing. As my Coach says, "I have a lot of words and I'm not afraid to use 'em!") I'll give you what I can. Grab yourself a cup of coffe or a Mountain Dew or what ever your particular brand of poison is and a snack. This is another long one!

So, the week of June 6-12, 2010 (Days 258-264) was definately significant!

I spent the early part of the week studying like crazy. This was finals week! Every day I would begin at 04:30. I would get up, get ready for work and out the door by 5:20 then head across town to pick up my co-worker. I always get to her house early and I bring my EMT study aids with me everywhere I go. Now I love Katie, but she isn't always ready when I'd like her to be and it varies as to what time she actually comes out the door, which is why I arrive as early as I do. Given my drothers (or is it spelled "druthers"?) I would show up at work much earlier than I do! Anyway, since I always have to wait I spend the time reading. And usually it was the EMT manual I would read.

The last few weeks of class had gone by in a whirlwind covering about twice as much material a week as the first 7 weeks so I had a lot of information floating around in my head. Unfortunately, having to read twice as much wasn't helping me to retain that information as well as I would have liked. That is why I began reading the chapters a second time. For those of you who have never looked at the Brady EMT-Basic coursebook, it is big, heavy, awkward and very dry reading! Because I have sleep disorders, and because of the hours I kept between school and work, I found it very difficult to keep my eyes open while reading which was very frustrating. It only served to increase my anxiety about passing the class. That may seem silly since at mid term, I had an A in the class, but I was really stressing it.

I had already failed two size ups by Chief McC., as far as I was concerned during the quarter.   Chief McC was the secondary instructor for my class, Chief L, the Lead. I found Chief McC. to be much more demanding of us and much more intimidating. On the first day that Chief McC. was teaching, I was the first student to class and was waiting outside the door when he arrived to unlock it. I introduced myself, bravely (remember, I am shy!). He had a booming voice and very direct manner about him. As we entered the classroom he said to me, "So what am I teaching today?" I was surprised he would ask me that and it escaped me that he was sizing me up at the moment. I had read the required chapters. I had completed the corresponding sections of the workbook. I was prepared for class. But, could I answer him? Not on my life. I had to look at the syllabus to answer him. Of course, he knew full well what he was teaching that day. He only wanted to know if I knew and if I was prepared. I had prepared but nervousness caused me to fail the size up. Still, I was so nervous I didn't even realize what had just happened. It wasn't until later in class that day, that he happened to mention to the class his little test of "a student". At least he didn't out me! I still felt about half an inch tall.    The second time I failed his size up of me was only a week or two later. We were talking about oxygen, when and how to use it, safe handling, etc. He demonstrated how to set it up and talked about minimum safe psi, etc. Then he set the cylinder in front of me on my table (I sat in the front row) and asked me to read the gauge. Besides the fact that he put me on the spot and I was shy and nervous, he held it in a position that was difficult for me to read it due to a) the glare of the flourescent lights on the face of the gauge and b) I was just far enough away from it that I could not read it well through either the upper or lower portion of my bifocals! (did I mention I am an old bat?). As I struggled to read it, Chief McC. demanded of me loudly, "What's the matter? Can't you read it?" I actually took my glasses off and squinted at it to read it and finally read it out, but the damage had already been done. Fail number 2!

Now, as it happened, I discovered that Chief McC. inspired me more, demanded more of me and I learned a lot more from him with his demanding teaching style than from Chief L. In fact I really admired Chief McC. and longed to be a fly on his shoulder for the next year just so I could soak up every piece of wisdom and information he spewed, like I was a large empty sponge! However, this did not make him any less intimidating to me. I would never have admitted it though. I did my best to anticipate what would be asked of me in class, to answer questions, etc especially when he was instructing. But Chief McC. still didn't make it easy. He never let us blurt out answers to questions or raise our hands like school aged children. He would ask questions and only if he specifically called on us would we be allowed, and EXPECTED to answer, correctly. That meant we had to pay close attention! It was a great technique in that we DID pay attention and we DID learn. It was not a good self-confidence builder. In fact I was so afraid to let the Chief down again that I prayed he didn't call on me.

What I am getting at with all this long winded reminiscing is that by finals week I was pretty frazzled and not feeling as confident as I would have liked! (Read: inwardly freaking out!!) But like any emergency, I presented as calm, cool and collected, did what I had to do and then fell apart later, when nobody was around to witness it. Like in my car all the way home. "OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm such a maniac!!!!"   (That was pretty common conversation between me and the fly on MY shoulder!) And for that reason, I was not at all confident that I would pass.

Chief McC. had talked to us quite a bit about the National Registry exam. He talked about the kinds questions that would be on it. He also told us that only 68% of applicants pass it. And that in Washington state the percentage was only slightly higher than the national average at 69%. That didn't instill much confidence either. It DID instill a determination to work hard, however. Chief McC. was the instuctor who wrote the exams for our class. So I KNEW that although Chief L. administered the exams and inputted the scores in the computer, Chief McC. was bound to look them over and see how we did. I have always been an over achiever so it was especially important to me to do well on his exams. And although I got solid grades, I never scored as high as I would have preferred to have. This final written exam was expected and touted to be the hardest of the class. It made sense. It was to cover a lot of new material as well as be a comprehensive exam of everything we had learned prior. In addtion, the first three exams we could go over and debate our answers if we got them wrong. If we presented a reasonable arguement with sound medical reasoning, he would sometimes allow us a point back but we could never get the question wrong again if it came up on a subsequent test, and those questions almost always DID come back again.   We were not able to do that on the final. The only way that a point could be given for a wrong answer on the final was if a) a majority of the class missed the question and b) if the majority of those who missed it marked the same wrong answer and c) if Chief L. reviewed that information and felt it reasonable that we would choose the answer we did. If so, he would give everyone the point for that question and mark that question for re-write for future quarters. Did I mention I was very apprehensive about this exam?

To make matters worse, I had totally misunderstood what was going to happen this week. We had four comprehensive practicals to take as part of finals and we also had three or four practical skill sheets to complete yet for the class. The way I thought I understood it was that those practical skills sheets would be checked off as part of the comprehensive practical finals. So I thought wednesday the ninth was only going to be the written final. Although I was sweating it some, the written exams never scare me as much as the practicals so I was doing okay, until announcements at the beginning of class where I learned I would have to perform the practicals as well that evening.

Amazingly, I pulled myself together and began the written exam, wishing I had been first to step out for the practical skills tests. Everytime a student would return from the practicals to continue their written exam, I tried to be the first to jump up to take their place. Although I jumped faster than most, I was also seated in the middle of a row and could not get out as fast as most. It took me half of the class period before I finally got to be the one to go. I was about 3/4 of the way through the written exam at that point. I aced the practicals! Now I felt much better and more confident. I returned to the classroom and to my written exam and finished it. I then went back over each question slowly to make sure that I had read each question right and marked the best possible answer. A passing score was a minimum of 80. Looking over the 100 questions I discovered that there were exactly 20 that I wasn't sure of the answers to! Talk about sweating bullets... AGAIN! I read each question a third time and reviewd my answers. I changed a few. I knew as I did that that usually the first answer you choose is correct but there were a couple I just didn't feel right about so I changed them. Finally I turned in my test. Only being sure of 80 was cutting it pretty close to the mark!Now I had an hour to wait before they would be graded and passed back to review. I am not a good waiter.

Finally we got the scores. The average score was 78, failure! I got 86! I was ecstatic. Especially as I saw the scores of my team mates and others around me. Anyone who passed was ecstatic and most shared their scores, even when they were barely passing. A few shared scores just under the mark and I felt badly for them. It was a hard freaking test. Much harder than the three prior to it. And now they could not debate the answers. When I thought about my score compared to the average, I knew many had not passed. Chief L. looked grim as he began to analyze which questions were missed by how many students. Then he sat down and began going over them. By the end of that, my score was a 90! And many more students had passed the exam! The rest, if they had not already failed and retaken one exam in the class, were given the opportunity to re-take the exam before the next day's practical finals. They would still retain the same score on the books, but if they passed the second time they would be allowed to take the practical finals. Otherwise, they were washed out. One of those students was one of my teammates.

It was great how the class rallied around each other. For each student who had initially failed the final exam, there were several gathered around him or her offering encouragement and offering to help them study that night even though it was already 22:00. I am sure I am not the only one who offered up heartfelt silent prayers on behalf of those needing to re-test.

I went home feeling both elated and stressed. Stressed not only about the comprehensive practicals but about my classmates who had become almost like family in many ways. I wanted everyone to pass. That night at home I could not sleep to save my life! It was nearly three in the morning before I slept and at 04:30 it started all over again.

On thursday, after my morning shift, I wanted to study, though I could not keep my eyes open. On top of that, we had turned our skills sheets in the night before so there was nothing to look at to prepare for the practical finals. I somehow drove home from my shift without falling asleep behind the wheel and wanted to crawl into my bed and die for a few hours. But I was still so anxious about the practicals. I sat on my living room floor and visualized a make-believe patient. I did a scene size up, initial assessment, rapid trauma assessment, detailted physical exam and ongoing exam on my imaginary patient. I had no idea if I'd left anything out because I had no one around to evaluate me. And I had no check off sheet to refer to. I finally gave up and gave in to sleep. It was the best thing I could have ever done for myself.

I woke up just before I had to leave for work, thanks to my handy dandy cell phone alarm. Groggily I headed out the door, and prayed all the way to work. I prayed for clarity of mind, for good recall, that God would help me remain calm and relaxed and help me to perform to the very best of my abilities, the way I had been trained. I prayed for my team that we would all communicate effectively and work well together. I prayed we would have each other's backs and if one of us missed something when we were the lead that the rest of the team would effectively cover and make sure we did everything right. Then I went to work and tried not to think about it.

At work I explained to the kids that I would be leaving extra early as this was the day of my final testing for EMT school. My 36 k-4th graders thrilled me to no end when they began chanting, "YOU CAN DO IT!" over and over. THEY had my back! I was moved almost to tears. When the time came for me to head to school, a whole herd of children about knocked me down in their excitement to hug me goodbye and wish me well.   I knew I had been hugged by God.

When I got to class the first thing I did was inquire of my teammate if he had completed the re-take of the final. He beamed at me. He had taken and passed it. Praise God! Next I checked on a few others of my classmates that had been in the same boat. Smiles all around. Whew!!!

The way the practical finals were done is that each team would go to four different stations throughout the evening. There was major medical, minor medical, major trauma and minor trauma. In class the students had asked which one the instructors thought was the most challenging. Chief McC. told them major medical, hands down. He said he'd put his sharpest cookie on lead for that one if it were him. He also told them that as lead, he'd put his sharpest cookie on c-spine at a scene. Guess who my team elected for both positions. No pressure! One thing I knew, I had come too far and overcome too many obstacles to get there to fail now. Even though my team was made up of me, a Protestant Christian; one Catholic and two Buddhists, I asked my team if they would mind if I led them in prayer. To my pleasant surprise, they allowed me to do so. If nothing else, it put me at ease a little. Suddenly I went into emergency mode: Calm on the outside, encouraging, cheerleading and all CAN DO attitude.

Chief L. assigned one team to each station leaving four teams in waiting. Did I mention I am not a good waiter? Our team is team G, affectionately called, "The Gangstas". I don't really remember which order that we were assigned to the practicals only that Major Medical was last. Great. I had to WAIT for my most important role. I HATE waiting. It makes me nervous. "SUCK IT UP!" I was screaming at myself inside. I started at one point to get dizzy and lightheaded and then realized I had forgotten to pack food for class that night. I had last eaten at work, around 15:15. It was 20:00 or so by this time. I went in search of a fix. I found the vending machine and bought a $50.00 20 ounce bottle of orange juice. (okay, so I exaggerated a little, but not much!) I went to my car and found yesterday's string cheese unopened on the passenger seat. I looked at it much with the same disdain that Sam looked at the green eggs and ham but it was protein. I knew it would make me feel better so I gobbled it down. Then I went back inside. Finally my turn came around to lead and we finished Major Medical. We were the LAST team to test. We helped clean up the station and returned to our classroom. Over the next twenty minutes the last group in each of the other stations trickled in carrying equipment. Now we had to wait again!

I forgot to mention that for the practical finals, we were not told how we did at the end of each station. Our instructors told us that we would be given a short debriefing when everything was done to discuss what we did well, what we needed to improve on and weather we passed or not. If we didn't we had to come back and re-test one more time the next day. They felt this was in the best interest of the teams because if we didn't pass one section, the team lead for that section would be a basket case for the remaining stations. Good logic. Not so easy to live with though. As we waited, (I especially, not so patiently,) Chief McC. callled one group at a time into the "cry room" as he called it. For the most part he called our groups in alphabetical order.. A, B, C, o wait, C is out of the room, D, E, F, H.

"H???" What the hell? WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE NEXT! DOH! Wait some MORE? Crap! Does this mean we failed? Finally as I panicked in my head (but stayed cool on the outside, mostly), he came out of the cry room to call the next group. "This is it," I thought, dreading it by now. "C!"

CRAP! I had forgotten that C had been passed over. "I GET IT LORD, BE PATIENT!   I GET IT!!!"
I didn't like it though. "I trust you," I said to God, more to convince myself than Him. I WANTED to trust Him, did that count?

Finally Chief McC. called us. With fear in my heart I stepped into the cry room with my team. At first we all held hands for just a moment, then we dropped hands and faced the Chief like what he had to say to us next was going to determine how we would spend the rest of our lives. It certainly FELT that dramatic to us.

First he said to us that he knew this class was one hard freaking class. He said it was meant to be. He said this was not a job for just everybody no matter how badly they thought they wanted it. He went on to tell us how worried he had been when he saw that the four of us had teamed up. He said he couldn't have picked four different personalities to try and become a team. He told us he knew it would be a great challenge for us from the start. "That said," he said. "Let's talk about how you did tonight." Did that sound doomy and gloomy to you? It sure did to me.

He started with Minor Medical. He gave us feedback and we made some mistakes, but overall, he said we did very well. He told our Minor Medical team leader he had done a good job. He congratulated him and said, "YOU PASSED!"   I figured Major Medical would be next and braced myself for whatever was to come. "Minor Trauma," said the Chief. He again gave us his evaluation and told the team leader, "Congratulations! You passed!" I think I am going to be ill. Surely now it is my turn. "Major Trauma," Said Chief McC. More of the same, positive and negative feedback followed by congratulations. By now I am fighting tears. But I don't know if they are tears of frustration or stress or just what. I just know that they are building up behind the dam and the dam is about to break. Finally the Chief looks at me. "AND YOU!" he booms. I tried not to shudder. Then he smiled. "You did an amazing job!" He proceeded to tell us what went well with Major Medical. He never mentioned our shortfalls though I knew there were some. One was critical. I never said "Scene is safe!" I remember looking and thinking it but I never said it. But my partner had my back and he had looked at me and said, "the Scene is Safe! I checked it out!" Scene safety is a critical failpoint but Ian had saved my ass! I know I saved his too in his scenario but I hadn't given it a second thought. I was just grateful he saved mine. "Congratulations! You passed!"   The dam broke and I bawled like a baby. Chief gave me a big hug and asked if I was going to be okay. He said he wasn't sure anyone here was trained well enough if I went down. We laughed. It took a few minutes but I finally pulled myself together. My team and the Chief and I were all hugging. Then Chief McC. addressed us again. "I want you to know," he said. And he proceeded to tell us that he felt we had been the most improved students in the class. He said that he knew we wanted it more than anyone else there. He also said that we pulled it together because we were able to put aside our differences and focus on the job. He told us that is what fire departments are looking for. It's what ambulance companies need. It would serve us well and if we ever found our way there, he'd be proud to have us on his department.   That was the biggest compliment and pat on the back I could ever have gotten. I had impressed the Chief. My TEAM had impressed the Chief.

After that, everybody packed up and either went out to party or went home. I had to be up at 04:30 and it was 21:00. I didn't care. I went out to have a beer with the team. Chief McC. promised he'd join us. Chief L had to take his son home. His son was a minor and had been one of our patients for the day. I was sorry Chief L couldn't celebrate with us but I was so glad we WERE celebrating. The Chief didn't show up until a good half hour after the rest of the class. He came to me first and put his arm around me on the barstool.

"How are you doing? Are you okay now?" he asked.

"Never better. Sorry I fell apart back there." I explained that I always keep my cool until it's over. And that I just couldn't help myself because I have wanted this SO badly for SO long. He said, "I never would have guessed that!" and smiled. Then he added, "I'm proud of you."

I have no doubt the Chief made me wait on purpose that day. I am honored to have trained under him. I learned a lot. I told hm at the party that I wished I could be a fly on his shoulder for a year. He laughed because he works for a very small department. He said, "You'd only run three calls!" I love that man. I'll never forget him. I hope I will see him in the field.

I cried all the way home that night. Tears of relief and joy and gladness. Tears of excitement and wonder about what is to come. Tears of amazement that I am that much closer to finally living my childhood dream. And even now as I write about it, I feel raw and exposed, but good. And tears still come with the amazement that I have made it this far.


(sorry, I blanked out some information for privacy reasons)
Thanks Team for believing in me. Every time I was down, one or more of you would say something or write something that lifted me up and renewed my confidence just enough to keep going. I don't deserve all the attention I have gotten over this, but it sure has been a blessing. I hope now I can live up to the expectations you all must have of me. I want to be the best EMT I can be.

Now, I am preparing for the National Registry Exam. That's the next step. WHEN I pass it, I have to find a sponsoring agency to hire me. For those of you who offer prayers on my behalf, I am hoping for Rural Metro. The exam is on the 16th of July, at 09:00.

And now, it's back to the books!

Until next post, stay safe! And thanks for all of your support. I am SO grateful.

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 A Crappy Day vs Living the Dream

2010-06-19T15:34:00.000-07:00

May 30-June 5, 2010 Days 251-257

Before you decide to read this blog entry, I would suggest you get a small snack, or bring your lunch. Make sure you have a nice beverage available, maybe even a pillow in case you need a nap. I am not implying that it is boring, at least I don't think it is, but this is a long one. I hope you enjoy it because you've certainly waited long enough for it. Thanks for following me and being such a great support to me.

This week was very intense for me... the next to last week before finishing EMT school! Ordinarily I would share my week with you in chronological order, but I don't want to leave this blog post on a low note so I will tell you about the latter part of the week first. In fact, I am only going to blog about the first and last day of the week.

On Saturday, I had my ER rotation at a local hospital. I showed up about 15 minutes early. I was still riding the high from my ride-along the first part of the week and I was anticipating a busy, educational day. When I was granted permission to head back to the desk, I introduced myself to the first employee I saw and asked for the charge nurse. They didn't know where she was but told me to have a a seat and wait. There were two chairs outside of the patient rooms just across from the desk so I sat. I waited about ten minutes and finally she came into the hub. Somebody informed her why I was there and she walked over and greeted me. She never gave me her name. She told me she would assign me to Nick for the morning and in the afternoon I would probably be with someone else. The problem was, she didn't know where Nick was. She told me to have a seat and it shouldn't be long. 15 minutes later, Nick showed up at the hub. She told him I was a student and that he was assigned to take me around with him and to make sure I got what I needed.

Nick came over and introduced himself. He asked me where I was a student and I told him. He had taken the class from my same two instructors a while back and had then gone to Texas to Paramedic school. I thought that was interesting since our college has a highly respected Paramedic program. Nick took me around the ER, which was currently quiet and we put away linnens, disinfected and remade beds and then went on a bed hunt to fill empty rooms. I helped as much as I could, wiping down beds, placing new linnens, etc and even pushed a bed back to the ER when we went on our bed hunt. Once that was done, there wasn't anything to do.

There were only six patients in the ER at the moment. Three were on suicide watch. One was a very sick woman who was post stroke with a tylenol overdose, renal failure and kidney failure with altered mental status, one was a man in severe back pain, and one was an older gentleman who was having some chest pains and respiratory distress and also had a rash that looked like a bad sun burn all over his arms, and it was blistered in places.

There was a nurse supervising the older gentleman with the respiratory distress and one of the suicide watch patients, and Nick relieved her so she could have a break. That meant he was tied down to one spot for a while. He told me that things were very slow so far for the day. He said that to make sure I got my patient contacts I should just start going room to room and taking the SAMPLE history from patients. SAMPLE is a neumonic device to help us remember what information to get during patient assessments. S=signs and symptoms and from that information we also ask OPQRST,I   (O=Onset, when did this happen? P= provoke, What makes this better or worse? Q= quality, can you describe your pain -sharp, stabbing, crushing, etc. R=radiate Can you show me where it hurts the most? Does it stay right there or does it seem to travel anywhere else? S=Severity Rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10, T=Timing Is sthe pain constant or does it come and go? I=interventions What have you done to try and make it better?) After all of that for each symptom we check A=allergies meds, food, environmental. M=Meds What medications are you taking, do you take supplements, are you taking any "recreational" drugs? P=pertinent medical history. Have you experienced this kind of thing before? Are you under a doctor's care for anything? etc. L=Last oral intake. When was the last time you had anything to eat or drink? E=events leading up to the situation. What were you doing when this came on?

I attempted to get the SAMPLE history from each patient, checking back with Nick periodically, that is when I could find him. The patients were wonderful. I would introduce myself and tell them I was a student. I would ask if they minded answering a few questions and all of them who were able were more than willing to talk to me. I tried to be encouraging for those who were scared or uncomfortable. I asked if I could do anything for each of them to help them be more comfortable. I squeezed hands. I smiled. Inside I wanted to make them all better, to give hope to the hopeless and to ease the pain of those hurting. But I knew I could only listen and try to encourage them and pray. That would have to be enough. I enjoyed the patients. Even though Nick kept disappearing for long periods once he was freed from covering for the nurse.

There were times when I could not find him for 15-30 minutes and nobody else working there seemed to know where he was either. I wasn't learning much. I was getting a little out of it, in that I was becoming a tad more comfortable around the patients. I was frustrated though because Nick kept disappearing and he was supposed to be the one I was shadowing and learning from. I started following another ER technician who was friendlier. She explained a few things to me and allowed me to ask questions.   Then she hooked me up with a nurse. Norena was a nice nurse. She was friendly and let me help her with patients, but mostly it was just getting things for them to make them comfortable. Nothing to learn medically speaking.

After I had seen all of the patients there, the staff were pretty much all seated around the hub, chatting with each other about their weekend, their dates, their families and what not or surfing the internet. A few were using the computers for patient reports. Nobody talked to me and I didn't know how to engage them when all they seemed to want to do was talk about their personal lives. I finally saw the charge nurse again and explained that I kept losing Nick when he'd send me one direction and go another. She said to me, "he can be like that sometimes," and then walked away. Nice. Norena then came to me and said that the doctor wanted to do a lumbar puncture on the patient who was post stroke and asked if I would like to assist with it. She explained the procedure and how I could assist. I was excited to be able to help with something so I agreed. She went to the doctor and asked if it would be okay and he said he would be happy to have a student assist. :)

While in the patient's room the doctor noticed that her foley catheter was leaking. There was a puddle of urine on the floor. I told him I would see to it that it was taken care of and had Norena show me how to correct the problem before I wiped it up and sterilized the area. I was willing to do ANY job that needed doing and had mentioned it to each person I had been with. If I had been told to change bed pans I would have done it. I just wanted to learn.

I helped hold the patient in position for the lumbar position and tried to comfort her as best as I could. It is not a pleasant procedure and her inability to communicate with us I am sure did not make it any eaiser on her. She understood us but only nonsense came out of her. I felt sorry for her and frustrated for her. I patted her leg that I was holding in position. I wanted her to know that I cared, even if we couldn't understand what she wanted. When the doctor was performing the procedure, he explained to me what he was doing. When he was finished, I thanked him for letting me participate and he was very nice. He said he was always willing to help a student.

After the procedure I was directed to another ER tech, who was standing guard over two rooms on suicide watch. All he had to do was make sure they stayed in bed. He couldn't leave that spot. There wasn't anything he could have me help with. We chatted about who I was, what I wanted to do, how much longer I had in school. We talked about who he was, what his background was, where he went to school, how long he'd been an ER tech, etc. Then he began showing me things that were in the various carts around the ER, a line of which were next to his post. He showed me the cart with supplies for suturing, opened a few packages to show me instruments and the needles used, etc. He showed me the intubation supplies. This continued for about 15 minutes, both of us at a loss for what to do with me. Finally Nick passed by and was told to take a patient to a CT scan. One of the nurses told him, "She's a student (pointing at me), take her with you." He looked at her then me, then her again and said dripping with sarcasm, "Thanks a lot!" WHOA!!! Wait a minute. I'm RIGHT HERE!!! I didn't want to take things personally but I felt like I'd been slugged in the gut.

The nurse tried to lighten things up and play it off and then looked at me and said, "It's okay. Go with him." He glared back at her. I followed him but he walked as fast as he could, pushing the gurney and never looked back. His legs are much longer than mine and I had to almost run to keep up. We went to CT scan where the Technician was nice but Nick did not let me help with the transfer of the patient or talk to me at all. The scan took a few minutes and then I chased Nick back to the ER. He put the patient back in his room then told me he'd be right back and promptly disappeared again.

I again found myself standing around the hub with nothing to do. A new ER tech I had not seen before finally approached me and introduced herself. Kim was her name. She was nice. She told me she worked for the ambulance company that I am hoping to get on with and that she also worked here. She was doing an internship of sorts here and today was her last day in the ER. She had taken her EMT class with my instructors too and we shared some funny stories. She was very nice and told me about how the ambulance company worked, encouraging me to apply when I was able. I liked her a lot. Sadly, she had to get her final evaluation and therefore had to leave me alone again. She handed me off to a nurse who barely looked up at me from the hub. While she and her co-worker talked about boyfriends and dating she would look up at me occasionally and say things like, "How long are you here?" or "What do you still need to do while you're here?" At least she cared a little that I had criteria that had to be met on this rotation. I was now six hours into the 8 hour shift. I needed four patient contacts this day because I already had been hands on with one during my ride along earlier in the week and needed a total of five. I needed to put in 10 hours of observation time but only five would count from the fire department, even though I had thirteen with them. Well, 5 from that day and six so far from this day was enough to satisfy the requirements. I technically had my patient contacts too, though I thought it was lame. I decided that I wasn't going to stand around doing nothing, being ingnored and put down any more. I was going to miss an important wedding by working this shift today and it meant a lot more to me than hanging out for another two hours of mostly garbage treatment. I spoke to a nurse about leaving and she said if I had all I needed I should go enjoy the sunny day because it was, in her words, dead around here. She signed my paperwork and out the door I went, resisting the urge to run.

That was a most unpleasant experience and taught me one thing: I do not want to work in a hospital, I definitely want to work in the field. I went home feeling discouraged and lousy. It has taken me two weeks to get around to writing the blog post and I still feel lousy about the whole thing. I felt beaten down. I wondered what I did wrong. Perhaps I did or said something though I don't really think I did. I've reviewed it over and over and I can't think of anything. I was comforted a bit when a friend told me she participated in a disaster drill at that hospital as a victim. The staff there were rude to her and treated her and other non-hospital staff like gum on the bottom of their shoes too. I've come to the conclusion that it must be the culture of that hospital. And I want nothing to do with it. Instead I am going to focus on what I really want to do with my life. And that brings me back to the beginning of the week.
*********************************************************************************

I started it out with a very fun day!!! On Sunday I got to participate in a Ride-along with a large neighboring city's fire department. I was stationed at a downtown, waterfront station. The station has one fire engine and two fire boats. I got to ride along in the Engine! But, let me start from the beginning.

When I signed up for my EMT class, I wrote a favorite author, paramedic and blogger for advice on how to be successful as an EMT student. His name is Peter Canning, author of "Rescue 471," and "Paramedic." He also writes a blog called "Street Watch Notes of a Paramedic." http://medicscribe.com/ Peter answered me back right away with the advice to study hard and to take every opportunity I could for ride-alongs, ER time, etc. So I took his advice to heart.

At first I tried to schedule ride-along time with my town's fire department. I figured I already knew people and might be able to get some preference because of my work on the Fire Buff Battalion, but this town's Fire Department proved to be extremely challenging to get into. I haven't succeeded yet, though the firefighters keep telling me not to give up. Even they think I ought to be able to ride with them! (I love these guys!) I kept trying to think of other ways to get in somewhere when I thought of my friends on the IACOJ website. I recalled that one firefighter who had private messaged (pm'd) with me a few times was from the large metropolitan town not too far to the North of me. I pm'd him right away. His name is Randy.

Randy took very little time in getting back to me and after a few pm's back and forth I composed a letter to the Fire Department in the large metropolitan town to the North. Very soon after, I received a letter along with a bunch of paperwork to fill out. Basically I was signing away my life. I didn't care! I sent it back in and within a few days I received a call from a Chief up North saying my ride-along request had been granted. WOO HOO!! And Sunday was the big day.

I arrived at the Station at 8 a.m. with 3 dozen chocolate chip cookies (Cap's favorite I was told ahead of time) and a dozen and a half of my favorite Orange Vanilla Chip Cookies that I got the recipe for from the IACOJ website. (And before dinner they were ALL gone!!)

Randy greeted me when I rang the doorbell and brought me back to the day room. There the guys were mostly sitting around the table, shooting the breeze and eating breakfast. Randy introduced me to the crew and told me to "make myself at home." Did I mention that I am shy? (Message to Cat...Yeah, I know Cat, you don't believe this, but it is true, and I had warned Randy ahead of time!)

The next 15 minutes were a little awkward as Randy was in and out doing normal stuff that he does around the station and the rest of the guys went about doing what they were doing when I walked in. I sat quietly, taking it all in, trying to think of some intelligent thing to say. I couldn't think of anything so I sat quietly. I was expecting a briefing of sorts, explaining the rules of my visit, the "what to do if's", that sort of thing. And I was expecting to be given an orange vest and blue helmet to wear, which I wasn't looking forward to but I think I would have worn an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polkadot bikini if that was what it took to get this gig in the first place! (Sure glad THAT wasn't the case. That's a freaking scary image!) Thanks to Randy, I almost looked like one of them. The public didn't know the difference. Oh yes, he was terrific!

Finally, someone invited me to have some breakfast. (Randy had told me he would arrange breakfast and dinner and that lunch was on my own, same as the rest of the guys). I took a peek at the offerings. Oats and a large bowl of fresh mixed fruit and yogurt. It looked good, except that I am allergic to pineapple and it was in there. Randy had asked me ahead of time and so he knew I was allergic but whomever the chef of the morning was apparently forgot that he had told them that. Oh well, my pineapple allergy isn't that bad. I decided to pick through the bowl and try to dish up fruit without getting any pineapple in my bowl. It proved to be challenging and I didnt' want to draw attention to myself so I only got a small serving and threw some yogurt over the top. It was really good!

The briefing I expected never came and Randy summoned me to the apparatus bay after I ate. I walked in with him and he handed me his fire department coat. He told me to wear it whenever we were out so that I would blend in. (I had worn black pants and a black button down shirt so I wouldn't stand out too much.) He said, "We're supposed to make you wear an orange vest and a blue helmet but we're not going to make you look like a dork." I had never met Randy in person before this day but I liked him a lot already! :)

First order of the day was a cruise ship tour. We toured a Norwegian Cruise Lines Ship. This was their drill, to check out the firefighting capabilities and systems on the ship. The FD had to submit a list ahead of time of all the personnel that would be on the tour and I was not on that list so there was no guarantee I would be allowed to board. They were going to try and get me in but if they couldn't, I was going to be on my own from about 0845 to 1200 hours. Yay. I could go visit all the waterfront shops, hang out in a bar or pay to tour the aquarium. Not what I travelled North to do, but God knew all about the situation before I ever got there and I decided I would trust him to work out the details. Very shortly after Randy gave me the coat to wear, we all piled into the Engine and headed to the pier. The Captain explained to someone who I was and why I was there and there was no hassle at all in getting me aboard. God is GOOD! For the next almost three hours we got all the behind the scenes, below the decks tour and toured the passenger cabins, recreation facilities, and everything. We heard all about the ship's fire fighting capablities and staffing in place for that and how the system all works. It was a really great tour and quite fascinating. The head of firefighting on the ship was our tour guide. He was from Paraguay and he had an English accent mixed in. He actually looked and sounded Ukranian. During his tour he called a halligan tool a "hooligan tool," and I suppressed a giggle but I heard a couple of snickers from a few of the guys! =D

We saw the engine rooms, the incinerator, all the fire lockers, how the watertight doors and compartments work, the gear they use (It'sGerman and very nice gear! The firefighters I was touring with were envious of their gloves!) We also saw the passenger cabins, even the premium ones, including a small suite with private deck that went for (believe it or not) 25,000 dollars a week, on top of the cost of the cruise itself!!!
The firemen were scheming about 50 guys going in on one together and bringing sleeping bags!

There were a ton of stairs on the tour! I did pretty well when it was one or two decks we were going up at a time, but at one point we were on deck 4 and needed to go to deck 11. The first 8 guys took the elevator but the rest decided not to wait... One of them said, "screw this!" and they all started up the stairs. I wasn't supposed to leave my partner's side and he wasn't going to wuss out so up we went. After three decks I told the one guy behind me he had better go ahead of me because I was going to slow him down, but he wouldn't hear of it. He said it wasn't very nice of them not to consider me. What a sweetie! No way in HELL was I going to be a whiner or a wanny. I had actually prayed about this situation the night before. I just headed for the stairs like the rest of them. (But I was freaking out inside about how the heck I was going to accomplish that many stairs in one fell swoop.) About half way up the fifth set of stairs, my right leg actually rebelled and I almost missed a step. I caught myself and the nice firefighter that had refused to leave me asked if I was okay. I told him I was running out of steam but that I was going to make it somehow. He told me to take my time and although I slowed down, I finished that flight. Randy was just coming back down a flight to me when I reached the landing. He too iquired as to weather or not I was okay and I had to admit I didn't think I would be able to make the other two decks. He was so kind! He said, "GOOD! Let's take the elevator. I hate the stairs!" The other firefighter told me I did well and we climbed in the elevator and rode the last two levels. In the elevator I apologized to Randy for the ribbing I thought he might get for taking the elevator. He told me he was GLAD to be in the elevator. I don't think I believe him, but I liked hearing it. :) Did I mention, I loved those guys? Before the tour was over we had seen all the amenities, the pool area, the rock climbing wall, all the restaurants and bars, we saw the crew quarters... it was really amazing! I feel extemely fortunate to have been a part of it and the guys treated me very well.

When we got back to the station a little after 1200 hours we sat around b.s. ing for about 15-30 minutes and decided we needed lunch. Randy said he was going to go to Subway, (Basically next door) and asked if that sounded alright to me. I agreed it sounded good. Randy asked around to see if anyone else wanted us to pick up anything for them and the Cap took him up on it. Soon Randy and I sauntered over to place our orders. He had me order first and he was about half way through getting the Cap's sandwich made when (predictably) the first run of the day was dispatched. Randy told the Subway sandwich artist that he'd be back, but we had to run and we ran back to the station and jumped in the Engine which was was waiting for us on the apron, door opened. I threw my sandwich and coin purse in so I could use both hands to hoist myself up then scooted into my seat and out of the way while Randy jumped in behind me. His radio went flying and landed somewhere near my sandwich and coinpurse at my feet while we wrestled the seat belts as we bumped along, siren screaming. WHAT A RUSH!!! Randy and I retrieved our belongings as we raced along and then we all gloved up. Randy told me the call was for a woman down, in cardiac arrest with CPR in progress. When we arrived, I estimated her to be about 65 and word was she had been down for an undetermined amount of time. The guys worked her with everything they had, at least 10 min of cpr but she was asystole which is not a shockable rhythm. They gave her sodium bicarb and epi but nothing worked. They called medical control and got permission to stop. I was surprised a little that I didn't feel much. I mean, I thought of her family and I was a little sad for them, but other than that, I didn't feel anything. I know partly it is because I was already aware of the low rate of success in reviving someone found in cardiac arrest, and I would guess that if I had personally been performing CPR on her, it might have been different too. I had never seen cpr on a real person before and it was really educational. It was sad, but they did all they could for her. They did an amazing job. I helped them clean up the scene and we hopped in to leave and promptly got another call.

The second call was a 57year old female cancer patient with fever, and in septic shock. She was at the cancer center. As we bounced around inside the cab while the lights flashed and siren wailed, I was watching out the windows. People were waving as we drove by and giving us thumbs up signals. Some took pictures. We were the heroes on our way to save the day. Only it didn't feel like it to us. We were just doing the job, trying to make a difference. Nothing more, nothing less. It was odd to see and feel the appreciation of strangers not even related to the patient... as we headed out to come to the aid of people...these people who had no idea who we were going to try and help, or where, but who appreciated that we were there anyway.

After reaching our patient all we could do there was assess her and then, after the doctor at the cancer center gave her report to them, the medics transported her to the hospital. But her daughter was there and the medics did a great job with her too. In the elevator as we took the patient to the ambulance, one of them patted her shoulder and rubbed her back offering silent comfort and support. It was very touching and a real demonstration of the compassion that attracts me to this line of work in the first place.

When that call was over we headed back to the barn. Once inside we washed up and then Randy and I headed back to Subway to get Randy and the Cap's lunches. This time we completed the transaction and brought the sandwiches back to the station where we got to eat them without interruption.

There were quite a few awkward quiet moments at the station but throughout the day, there were times I would participate in some small conversations. As often as I thought I had something valid to contribute, I did. During lunch one of the guys' family showed up... his wife and two kids. I had a good time conversing with the firefighters and with the kids and their mom a bit too. Kids I am definitely comfortable with!

They were wondering what seagulls eat and I told them "just about anything!" I was telling them about some of the enounters with seagulls that my daycamp kids have experienced and they enjoyed that. One firefighter mentioned that although seagulls DO eat about anything, alkaseltzer probably wasn't a good idea. LOL That reminded me about squirrels and large marshmallows. I told them about how my husband as a kid used to put three marshallows on a log when he was camping and then sit back and watch the fun. A squirrel would approach cautiously and investigate. After deciding it was food, the squirrel would put one inside it's cheek and then put another inside it's other cheek. This is a pretty ridiculous site to behold because squirrel cheeks are not really meant to store something as big as large marshmallows. But it gets even funnier when the squirrel gets greedy and wants to take the third one with him. He will attempt to put the third marshmallow in his mouth but it of course will not fit. So he will set it down and try to use his little paws to rearrange the first two marshmallows and make more room. But now they're covered with squirrel spit and getting ooey gooey. The squirrell will play with his food for quite a while and end up a sticky gooey mess before giving up. I have not personally witnessed it but my husband's accounts of it have had me rolling on the floor holding my sides more than once. Of course as adults we realize this is cruel and inhumane punishment of relatively innocent little creatures and we would never dream of doing this, but the stories are fun to hear. The kids and firefighters alike were laughing by the end of the story.

After lunch, Randy and I spent some time out back of the station people watching at the pier, chatting about the fire boats and our families and so forth. He told me that when the tide came in more so the ramps to the boats were not so steep, he'd take me down to tour them. I was looking forward to that.

The next call to come in was for a ferry worker and was reported as an ankle injury. When we arrived, less than two minutes after the call came in, they let us on the ferry but as we approached the patient, who had been seated in a wheelchair, we were asked to take him into the ferry terminal to examine him so that they could prepare the ferry for its next run. Our patient told us he was the second mate on the vessel. Apparently there had been a dead motorcycle and he was getting ready to push it but his foot slipped on the wet deck and he felt a "burning, tearing" pain in his calf. When we examined his calf it was very red and swollen. when we got there. We assisted the man with getting his leg elevated while we waited for AMR to arrive for transport and Randy's partner took the man's vital signs. When AMR arrived we assisted them in transferring the patient to their wheeled stretcher and that was that. I felt sorry that we were not able to ease the man's obvious pain. In fact, I found that to be difficult, realizing he was in great pain and not being able to do anything for him. Still, he seemed grateful that we had come and he thanked us as AMR EMT's began wheeling him out.

As we were leaving the ferry terminal, Randy stopped and pointed at a sign on the wall. He had a grin on his face. The sign said something like, " Please keep a close eye on your small children to make sure they do not put their fingers in the holes on the benches." It was an official looking sign. Seemed a little odd to me.
Randy who was apparently seeing it for the first time explained. It seems on a shift a month or so ago, there was a cute little two year old girl who got her finger caught in a hole on the bench and they had to saw around her stuck hand and then use snips to remove the ring of bench still attached to her. I guess the girl was a real cutie but pretty freaked out by it all, understandably. Her mother was taking all kinds of pictures. Poor kid probably had pics of her oredeal plastered all over facebook! :(   Randy and the rest of the crew found the sign amusing though.

On the way back to the station, Randy's sixth sense must of kicked in. He said to me that he wanted me to know that if they got a call on the freeway, he liked me and all but he wanted me to stay in the truck. He assured me it was not personal and he didn't want to offend me. I told him I understood completely. The last thing I wanted to do on my ride-along was to become a patient myself!

When we got back to the station this time, I started to discover that the driver of the Engine is an amazing cook! Of course, I haven't eaten anything resembling real food since I started school. My family has not kept up their end of the bargain to keep me in decent food. Consequently I have eaten a lot of corn dogs and frozen chimichangas when they were available in the freezer. I also had many dinners consisting of two pieces of string cheese and a 20 oz. bottle of orange juice... So maybe I would have been happy with deep fried slugs, but this guy ground his own spices... several different kinds of chili powder, dried mustard seed, salt, something smoky, paprika and I don't know what else. He let Randy and me smell it after he ground it and give our opinions as to what else it might need. I thought it smelled great the way it was and Randy suggested something with a little more zing. An adjustment was made and then he rubbed it under the skin and all over about 20 gigantic chicken breasts and set it aside to soak up the flavors. He then went on to fix potatoes.

We were only back at the station a short time when the next call came in and wouldn't you know it, it was a freeway call. The patient's chief complaint was chest pain. He said he had felt palpitations and had chest pain so he pulled over and called 911. I guess he was following a relative so when he pulled over she did too. Amazingly he listened to his body and didn't try to deny he had a problem. He did the safe thing and got out from behind the wheel! I had to stay in the rig to be safe which was perfectly understandable, but I was still bummed. From my view however, the patient appeared to be in his late 20's or perhaps his thirties, but a young man for sure.

I wished I could be part of the patient assessment but I knew it was best I was where I was. I made myself busy by taking in as much as I could of my surroundings. I looked at the helmets hanging from hooks and one thing I noticed was that the helmet ornaments were different on Randy's helmet and on his partners. His partner had an eagle but Randy had a beaver. I took pictures. And while I was at it, I took a picture of myself seated in the fire engine, wearing Randy's coat. Modern cell phones are cool. I love being able to take my own picture!

While I kept myself entertained, the crew assessed their patient and called for transport, but while they were getting him setlled on the gurney, steam started coming out from under the hood of the patient's relative's car. The firemen checked it out and she had busted a radiator hose! They taped it together and threw some water in for her. Then one firemen drove the patient's car and followed the woman off the freeway to a pay parking lot. We followed in the Engine. That was so nice of them! Heroes twice in one call!

I remember coming back from the freeway run and hopping down from the cab of the Engine. The fire station smelled heavenly! Ordinarily, I love the smell of fire stations anyway. Sort of a mixture of cleaning products, deisel fumes, smoke and I'm not sure what else, but that is not the smell that had my attention this time. The aroma we were greeted with was the smell of the roasted potatoes with onions, rosemary and I don't really know what else. I only know that it was an amazing aroma and I started to drool!

Finding ourselves with some down time, we noticed that the ramps to the fire boats were not so steep any more so Randy offered to show me the two fireboats at the station. Who was I to complain?

The older one was pretty cool and he took me to every nook and cranny. He took the time to explain what things were for and the advantages/disadvantages of some of the features. He commented that I should have brought a camera. I told him I had my camera phone with me and he offered to take a few pictures of me on the boat. He also told me there were not any secrets on the fire boats and that I should feel free to take whatever pictures I wanted to. I was kind of shy to take pictures for some reason, but I did take a few. Oddly, I never took pictures of any of the crew or even the Engine. :( The shy bug had bitten me hard that day and I'm kind of frustrated that I didn't master it but I guess that leaves me an excuse to go back.

The newer boat was really awesome. When it was to be made some intelligent decisions were made. Experts were consulted. I mean, each area was designed by people who work in and with or use those areas. For example the patient area was designed with heavy input from paramedics. It is set up very conveniently and well stocked so that the only thing the medics have to bring on board with them is their drug box. And the patient area is directly off an area that can be enclosed for privacy but it has special shower heads in the ceiling to facilitate decontamination procedures in case of hazardous material exposures. I was very impressed with both the layout of this boat and all the thought and planning that went into it.

After we had spent quite some time touring the boats we headed back inside the station to find that dinner was ready. The chicken had been grilled on the barbie along with corn on the cob and there was a pot of baked beans along with the roasted potatoes. A large bowl of freshly cut watermelon was set on the table for dessert. A few of the guys were giving our chef a hard time about not having any bread with dinner but I would have to say that I am of the opinion that none was needed! Nobody hesitated to dig in and it got very quiet for a while while we all devoured the gourmet meal set before us. I thought perhaps I had died and gone to heaven. It was absolutely amazing and there was more food than I could possibly imagine! All nine of us could have had two chicken breasts, (that seemed like they were turkey breasts by the size!) and there would still have been leftovers.

As I finished my dinner I thought about pinching myself to see if the day was real or not. There I was in a fire station, having the time of my life, running calls (I love riding in a fire engine running code red!), hanging out with my heroes, eating food fit for royalty and I just wished the day would never end! It was freaking awesome! After dinner the guys all started stacking their money on the table. Apparently buy in for the meals for the day was ten dollars. I felt a little awkward because Randy had told me he was arranging for breakfast and dinner and lunch was on my own, but I didn't want to assume a free ride either. I mean, these guys went out of their way for me, especially Randy and the Cap. As I started to get into my coin purse to pay my share, Randy paid his share, but double. He told his crew mate who was collecting that he was paying for mine too. That was very nice of him. I thanked him and he smiled as he told me, "you're welcome." I still felt a little funny because nobody had asked anything of me all day. When I asked how I could help after dinner I was told to sit down and relax. I appreciated that hospitality but I wanted to pull my weight, so to speak. I didn't want to come across as self-entitled.

After dinner we were watching movies "ON DEMAND". As my friend later called it, "Movie night with the fire department." I commented that it was MY kind of date! Even so I wished for at least one more run before I had to leave this adventure.

We only saw about twenty minutes of the movie, because we started it ""already in progress" and then got another run. Woo Hoo for me! (Sorry, I don't mean to "be happy" about other people's misfortune, but this WAS what I came here for! Honestly, I don't like seeing peole in pain or scared or distraught at their circumstances, but I do want to be a part of making things a little better if not, at least more bearable.)

As we hopped into the Engine, Randy looked at me and said, "you're going to help with the work up on this one." YES! A formal invite! I nodded, trying not to look too eager and to not look scared to death. I probably failed at both but I made a valiant effort anyway. Randy told me to glove up and pointed to his box of gloves. I smiled and nodded. He didn't understand why and said to me, "No, really. Glove up." As he was saying this I was trying desperately to get into my jacket pocket, fighting the shoulder restraint of my seat as I did so. I said, "I am, don't worry. I just have tiny hands. I'd drown in those gloves. I have my own in my pocket." He looked surprised when I pulled out a zip log bag with several pairs of nitrile gloves three sizes smaller than the ones he had offered me. As I put them on he told me what the call was for... A rectal bleed at a homeless shelter.  (I thought, "oh goody yay".)   Oops. I said it aloud. He smiled as I mentally prepared myself for a GI bleed. I knew it could be something else, but that was a real likelihood and I knew it. I have never smelled one but have been told it is one of the top three worst smells imaginable, along with brain matter and rotting human flesh.

By the time I had gotten both pairs of gloves on, we were pulling up to the scene. Upon entering we found our patient not far inside, seated on a set of stairs. He was cyanotic around the mouth and diaphoretic, (blue and sweaty) and he was definitely sick! He was clearly scared and distraught at his condition. He had blood down the legs of his pants and there was a small pool of blood on the floor. It looked like a lot but I doubt it was 8 ounces. (I know it is measured in cc's but I can't translate that yet.) Luckily, it turned out not to be a GI bleed. No odor.

The employees of the shelter came up with a sleeping mat for us to have him lie down on and we assisted the patient in moving from the stairs to the floor onto the mat. One of the guys got some bulky dressing materials and instructed the man to pull his pants down some and place the dressings in his underwear then pull the pants back up snugly. They encouraged him to do this for himself but assisted as much as was necessary.

Meanwhile, Randy started with vital signs. As he checked the patient's pulse, I timed his respirations. They were 30, shallow and irregular. (normal for an adult is 12 to twenty, with adequate and equal chest rise and fall and a regular rhythm). Automatically I started to think, "Non rebreather mask, 15 liters per minute."

When I reported it, Randy handed me the oxygen cyllander and a nasal cannula that he had removed from the jump kit. "Set up the nasal cannula and get the O2 started," he said as he set the jump kit down between us. He looked at the patient and told him, "My partner is going to get you set up with some oxygen, alright?" The man nodded and I began working. I took the tank out and checked the psi to make sure it was well above 200, then I checked to see if the O2 was "on." (I had no idea if they left the valve open when the flowmeter was off or how they put their equipment "in service.") I don't remember if it was on or if I turned it on but when I made sure it was ready to go I attached the tubing of the cannula to the port and set the flowmeter. I was about to put the nasal cannula on the patient when the Captain kneeled beside me and took it from me. He said to me, "What do you have that set at?" Confidently I answered, "15 Liters per minute." He said matter of factly, "No, not that." and waited for me to make the correction. Immediately I realized my mistake. A non rebreather mask is what I was taught to use first in this type of situation, but Randy had given me a nasal cannula. 15 liters per minute would be a hurricane in the nostrils! "Nasal cannula!" I said and smacked my forehead. I set the flow meter down. "4 Liters per minute," I said as I corrected it. The Captain put the nasal cannula on the patient. About that time the paramedics arrived and took over the patient's care.

Randy's partner came to me and noticed a smudge on my glove as I stood up. "Did you get blood on your gloves?" he asked me. I had already seen the smudge and determnined it to be dirt from the O2cyllander. "No," I said. "What is that?" he asked pointing to the smudge. "It's dirt, I already checked." He asked if I was sure and I said that I was. He then informed me quietly that our patient had hepatitis C.

I stepped back out of the way but wanted to do what I could to be of assistance. I knew the best thing I could do was assist with the patient's ongoing assessment. I knew we needed updated vitals, but I wanted to stay out of the way of the paramedics so I started with respirations. They hadn't improved much and I said so. I didn't have my stethoscope or BP cuff and others were working around the paramedics to assist as well so I stayed on respirations. After four more counts of thirty seconds each, the respirations had dropped to 24 but were still irregular. I reported to the Captain who was recording it all. The paramedics were almost through packaging the patient for transport at that time. Cap said to me, "So he is improving then," looking to me to agree. I shook my head affirmatively but repeated that his respirations were still irregular. Cap wrote the information down. Then Randy whispered to me "Did you catch that the patient has Hepatitis C?" and checked me for blood. I nodded affirmatively.

One of the employees of the shelter began yelling, "Close off the bathroom. We've got Hep C here!" He kept yelling that the patient had Hep C, affording no dignity or privacy to the patient who willingly shared that information with us. We aren't sure how the employee caught wind of it as we all did our best to keep it very quiet. I felt really bad for our patient. It bothered me how scared he was and how he kept asking us, "What do you think it causing it?" All we could do was assure him that we were going to take good care of him and get him to a hospital so the doctors could find out.

We disinfected everything we touched, handles to boxes and bags we carried in, the stethoscope, etc. Then we picked it all up and carried it back out, following our patient being wheeled out on the stretcher by the paramedics. As we began to leave, the place broke out in applause. It was a weird feeling, they were clapping because we came to do our job. On the way out, another potential resident for the night was coming in and puking all over the entryway floor. We did our best not to step in it as we left.

Once we were all back on the truck, the Captain announced that nobody set foot in the station until we were disinfected. As we drove through downtown, I noticed people pointing to us, and kids waving, and BIG kids waving (read adults here), and pictures were being taken. I pointed out that one man was trying to take our picture while we were at a red light. He was on Randy's partner's side of the truck. Randy gave his partner rabbit ears. LOL

Once we were at the station Cap instructed Randy's partner to make up a bucket of bleach water to rinse our shoes in right away. Normally when we arrive back at the station, everyone jumps out (except the driver, LOL) and the Engine is then backed into its bay. I had been instructed from the beginning to stay seated until we were parked in the bay. This time, I wasn't sure what to do. We stopped and I didn't get out. I wasn't supposed to set foot in the station. I waited until Randy came to the door. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Yeah, I just wasn't sure what to do, Cap said not to set foot in the station." He chuckled and offered me a hand to assist me out of the truck. I jumped down. He said his partner would have the bucket ready in a minute. I followed him behind the Engine and waited my turn to rinse my shoes. Then the floor was mopped from the bucket to the doorway and all the way around the Engine. The floor of the cab was wiped down with disinfectant wipes and then we all returned to the living area of the station.

Randy and I talked afterward. He told me I had done a good job. "Except for the mistake with the O2," I agreed. He smiled at me. "It was no big deal," he said. "It wouldn't have hurt anything and it is an easy mistake to make. You were excited. We could have used an NRB on him, we just didn't. But you'll never make that mistake again. Don't worry about it, you did just fine." I really appreciated that neither Randy or the Cap criticized or scolded for the mistake. In fact, they never brought it up, I did. Randy and Cap were excellent teachers. They taught me gently and patiently.    For that I am very grateful and appreciative. Every call we had been on so far had only served to confirm that this is what I want to do. And I was treated like a professional. For that too, I am grateful and appreciative.

Our last call before I went home was a "fire" call. Notice the quotes. It came in as "a transient with a cooking fire and lots of smoke."

It was only a few blocks and we did not use the siren. We arrived and it was indeed a transient and a cooking fire, fully and safely contained in a small hibachi type grill. He was griling fish and potatoes. There wasn't much smoke at all. He was along side a vacant building using a few stacked pallets for a table where his things were, but the grill was safely on the ground. The firemen admired his dinner, inserting a generous dose of smiles and humanity and told them why they had come. They said that they could see there was no problem however and as far as they were concerned this was simply a man enjoying a good meal. They asked him where he got his fish and told them it smelled good. They told him to enjoy his dinner and that they were going to go. The man was all smiles. I loved how they handled it.

Once back in the rig though the Captain was very upset. He said he was sick and tired of property owners trying to get the fire department to be the heavy. He said the man wasn't doing anything wrong and should enjoy his meal in peace.

We got back to the barn at 8:45 and Randy and I chatted a bit, and he printed me out their EMT flow chart, a cheat sheet to walk through the steps of patient assessment and treatment. Then I decided since it was 2100 hours I ought to respect their time and make my leave. I thanked Randy for hosting me and for a very enjoyable day. I made the rounds to thank and say goodbye to the men who were still in the day room. Most of the men were upstairs in the sleeping quarters by now so I didn't get to say goodbye to them. Randy walked me out to my car.

He told me he hoped I had enjoyed myself and gotten something out of my day and I assured him that I had. He told me I was welcome to do this again anytime and that he hoped that I would. I told him I would LOVE to do it again, perhaps this summer after I finish my class, just to keep fresh all the things I've learned before I become employed in this line of work. He wished me a safe trip home and then I left. I cannot believe I left the station without getting a pic of the crew, the engine and without purchasing a shirt which was available in the station. I was a little high from all the thrill I guess. SIGH. Oh well, as I said before, it gives me an excuse to come back! This was without a doubt, the most awesome day I have ever had. And I know now FOR SURE this is what I want to do!

Until I blog again, stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 BOOTS!!

2010-06-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

Hi Team!

As I mentioned in my last post, I have gotten way behind here and I did not really take notes either so I am going to report the next few weeks of info to you here only mentioning the few important highlights. But first, I forgot to tell you about something in the last post.

On Friday, May 21, 2010, our local Fire Department conducted another training burn which our Fire Buff Battalion participated in.   I wasn't able to be there very long. Again, I had to be a grown-up and go to work. SIGH.
Here is what our fire department posted about it on their blog site:
The property is part of the “From Ashes to Homes” project with (our city and county) Chapter of Habitat for Humanity. The structure needed to be removed to clear the way for the creation of 11 new homes for hard working low income families. The new neighborhood will include sidewalks, streetlights, and a community area with recreation space.

This all day event was a great opportunity for (our local) Fire Department to conduct live fire training in a controlled setting and we were grateful to be able to assist Habitat for Humanity with the development of their very important project.

Go here to see a slideshow: http://s882.photobucket.com/albums/ac25/Monique_diva/TFD%20Training%20Burn%20May%2021st%20%202010/?albumview=slideshow

May 23-29, 2010 Days 244-250

Last week, just prior to the training burn, Cat, our Fire Buff President called me and said words to the effect of, "You have your bunker pants don't you?"

I said to her something like, "No, we haven't gotten mine yet. You said we would when we had time and, well, we haven't made time yet." I mean, it isn't like we haven't been busy or anything!! In fact, I've had all the time in the world between school, work, studying, fire buffing and.... oh yeah, SLEEPING!

Cat then recalled that we had talked about that and told me we would have to do that very soon. This after saying something like, "Damn. It's going to be rainy for the burn and they would have been nice for you to have." It's okay, I won't melt... I'm not that sweet!

Well, at the burn we talked to the man in charge of that. And he told us to come see him on Tuesday. =)

Tuesday, Bob (Cat's husband) and I went to the Fire HQ and met Lee, the man in charge of that. Lee had already picked out a pair he thought might be suitable for me. He had me try them on knowing full well we would have to shorten them. (Remember, I am only 4'10"!)    I found myself trying them on in a storage room where there were no chairs. Now, firefighters put these things on in a hurry. But... Not I. I put one leg in, no problem. It was nearly five miles too long so I scrunched the leg of them up my leg until my foot popped out the bottom end and planted my foot back on the ground. So far so good. But then I had to put my other leg in. There was nothing I could hang onto because I needed both hands to hold on to the pants. Lifting my second leg up and into them proved challenging due to the fact that the pants are naturally bulky and when there is an extra five miles attached to each leg the problem is compounded. After an awkward minute or so I almost had my foot going in when suddenly I began to list to my left. I realized there was nothing I could do to save myself so I just threw my hands up in the air and prepared for the inevitable landing while saying something smooth and cool like...

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Don't worry, we're not gonna let you fall!" I heard as Lee dashed over to save me on the left side and Bob reached over to save me from the right.   Whew!! Disaster narrowly avoided! I could see and hear it playing out at work...

"Mrs. Myers, how did you break your arm?"

"Oh, honey, it was simple. I fell from my fire pants!"

Once I was steadied, Lee held onto me firmly as I got the other leg in and pulled my pants up. I was quite amazed that Lee, having only seen me a handful of times, picked out a pair that fit me well (going around). Lee and Bob then helped me with the red suspenders. They each adjusted a side as small as they would go. Wouldn't you know it? Three inches to big. They will have to tailor my suspenders along with my pants!

Next we went for boots. Amazingly, Lee found a pair that worked. I have very small feet (women's size 6). Luckily I also have very wide feet. I usually wear a larger shoe than a size six because of it. Lee found one women's size six left boot and it fit very snugly. But, for some odd reason, there was only another left boot and not a right one. That isn't going to work. He hunted around a while and came up with another style of boot and it was also a size six. But they were a men's size six. I tried them on.  They were a fair bit looser, but not uncomfortably so. I tried walking in them. My feet were not slipping around. They were more comfortable than the smaller left boot I had tried on first. I told Lee so and he responded with, "They're yours then!"   I have BOOTS! Real firefighting boots! COOL!

Here they are:

Okay, that's it for now. I'll keep going as time permits until I get all caught up, then I will try to stay on top of this blog again.

Until next time... Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Play time!

2010-06-12T21:25:00.000-07:00

May 16-22, 2010 Days 238-243

Hi Team!!

Monday
Tuesday 2-11 (2 alarm) House fire and the Medics let me play!

It was a crappy day out, pouring down rain. I was between shifts with my daily split shift job when I heard the call come in for a signal 1-11. The familiar feeling of adrenaline rushed over me and I jumped into action, grabbing the car keys, double checking that my gear was ready to go and grabbing my fire department ID off of my coat to clip to my viser. It comes in handy when I arrive at fire scenes where the police are blocking off access. Once I was set I "raced" within legal limits to get there.

What I arrived to:

Bob and Cat had already gotten the canteen set up so I joined them. As I walked by the burning house (I was across the street) the smoke hurled my direction in a gust of wind and it choked me and made my eyes water. Nasty, dangerous stuff that smoke is. I walked quickly and got free of it but not before the smell of it permeated my clothes and hair.

After being directed to move the ice chest and cookies closer to the medic unit being used for firefighter rehab, Bob and I were invited to climb into their rig and out of the rain. Bob declined but I, being an EMT student and curious, took advantage of the opportunity to check out the rescue rig. One of the paramedics was inside getting things ready to check out the next crew due for rehab. He was friendly and made conversation with me. I told him I was an EMT student and he seemed genuinely interested, asking me several questions about what I had learned so far, where I went to school and how soon I would finish. Then he told me I could stay and help if I wanted to.

I looked at my watch. DAMN! (sometimes I HATE being a grown up!) I had to leave in 10 minutes to go to work. But I really didn't want to pass up this opportunity. I decided to call my boss. I usually start work at 2 but kids don't arrive until 2:30 so I could technically let my staff set up and show up just in time to receive kids and no harm would be done. My boss was really kind about it. She allowed me to stay. It wasn't much time, but it was better than none!

The medics have to take the firefighter's blood pressure, carbon monoxide level, oxygen saturation level, and pulse. I had hoped to help with blood pressure and pulse as Scott, the paramedic had mentioned. Unfortunately, it was pretty crowded in there with three or four guys for rehab plus two paramedics and me. And they were using an electronic device to measure the BP and pulse and I could not reach it from where I was. And the most I did was assist with equipment. They would put the cuff on one guy and while they took his vitals they passed around the gadget that measures the carbon monoxide levels as they blow into it. This is a new device they are using and the comments being made were quite entertaining, but this is a relatively family friendly blog so I won't go into detail. However, there was a lot of joking and a lot of having to do the test over becuase it is very hard to blow slowly into a device when one is laughing. As one set of vitals was finished, the BP cuff would be passed to the next guy on the bench seat and the process would begin again. The guy closest to me started to put the cuff on himself and was struggling so I offered to help. I reached over and closed the velcro cuff around his arm for him in the same position that he had applied it but the paramedic looked at it and said, "that isn't right," and took it off and started over. I felt about one inch tall. I KNEW it wasn't right but I assumed that the firefighter knew what he was doing because I have been under the impression that all of our guys are EMT trained and who was I, a mere student, to question them about it. Apparently not. Lesson learned. I assisted for the remainder of the time I was there and did not make that mistake twice.

While it was very minor part to play, I still enjoyed it and learned from it. The guys were great. They treated me like one of them. And even though their humor is often off color, (no big surprise there!) I felt privileged that they did not act differently because I was there. They felt free to let of steam in their usual manner. That is very important to me, working with the fire buff battalion, knowing that the firefighters can be totally free to be themselves and not have to be mindful that what they say may be offensive to us or upsetting. This is a stressful job and they need to cope in any way that works for them.

I felt priveliged too, when Scott asked a paramedic from another unit about the occupants of the house. He started to answer and then looked at me and said, "We have HIPPA." (Health Insurance Portability and Privacy Act -keeps everything about patients completely confidential except on a need to know basis, in a nutshell.) Then he looked at me and asked if I would mind stepping out for a moment. Before I could answer Scott said, "It's okay, she's an EMT student. She can stay." And that was that. They spoke freely and I got to be in on it! COOL.

All too soon, my magical extra half hour was gone. With a sigh I thanked Scott and the other firefighters who were around at the time and headed out and back to work.

And when I had to leave for work it looked liket his:

The fire started in the kitchen, apparently. There was a child inside as well as a teenaged care taker. Both got out and took a ride to the hospital. There were various reports that gave conflicting information on the extent of injuries, ages of the occupants and such and I cannot say with one hundred percent certainty exactly what is true so I will not speculate here.

Here is what our fire department posted on their website about the incident:

The first arriving company found fire and smoke showing from the main floor of the two story turn of the century house. Crews battled the blaze with hand lines and initiated search and rescue tactics. A second alarm for additional resources was called as the intensity of the fire resulted in a collapsing roofof the primary structure and significant exposure damage to the adjacent house at 1732 S. Ainsworth.

A passing by off duty firefighter and neighbors assisted in getting all of the occupants out of both of the houses. Two of those occupants were transported to local area hospitals.

Sadly the house was lost. The neighbor to the left had some roof damage and some serious water damage inside. The Red Cross stepped in and assisted with temporary housing for both families.

When I arrived back at work, it was stil pouring rain and I had to park at the far end of the parking lot so I kept my fire coat on because it is waterproof. I ran into my class area with it on and the kids immediately zeroed in on me. Who could blame them? I stood out in that bright orange coat! Usually when I address the class at this time of day, it is hard to get them quiet and get their attention. This time was an exception. All eyes were on me, expectantly and it was dead quiet. They KNEW if I was wearing that coat it meant only one thing. I got to the front of the class and the questions started flooding out of their mouths. I told them what I had been up to and warned them that I smelled bad from the smoke. Of course, as soon as they had the opportunity they were all up and around me sniffing! LOL One of them later asked me, "Mrs. Myers, why are you so dirty?" I laughed. I told him I wasn't dirty I had just been walking through the smoke from the fire and it smelled bad. He just assumed that if one was smelly one must be dirty. I love my kids!

*********************************************************************************

Okay, now, here's the thing...

Obviously, this post is WAY overdue. And I haven't posted for a few weeks now. I was so busy with school, and so stressed out that I kind of got to the point where I actually avoided this blog. I can't believe I did that because this blog is very important to me and you, my readers, have been an amazing source of encouragement and support. I am sorry if I let you down and I hope you will udnerstand and forgive me for it. I let my self down too because, some day as I reach all of my goals, I will look back on this and realize I missed some important parts of the journey in my documentation. But... life goes on.

I don't have my weekly "grades" to give you for this post or the next several. All I can say is I have studied hard every week, I haven't drank near enough water and I am still not finding time to go out of my way to exercise but I am really looking forward to getting my life back when class is over so that I can do just that.

I guess I don't have much else to say for now.

Stay safe my friends!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Hot Damn! Oh, wait... Damn!

2010-05-16T11:17:00.000-07:00

May 9th-May 15th, 2010    Days 231-237

Hi Team!

It has been a crazy, busy week but I have a few moments to post (unlike last week that I just posted for a minute ago) so... Here are the grades:

PT: B

Study Hall: A+

Health: B

R&R: C

Overall Grade: B

I did a lot better this week with fluids but I really need to find some time for intentional exercise! I saw some pictures recently that are not very flattering at all! I look bigger than when I started this climb, though my clothes are not getting too tight (whew!). I know that some of it is just that my clothing choices have not been the most flattering and also that my clothes had been getting quite loose before, but at the same time I know I have gained weight since class started. I don't have time to exercise or cook. I have to rely on what my family leaves in the fridge for me and my husband will starve before he'll cook. That leaves me at the mercy of my 17 year old son, need I say more? When this class is over in mid June, I have got a lot of work to do! It is kind of frustrating because I have worked so hard on it but something has to go by the wayside and this ended up being it. :(

A rather unflattering picture of me with my cuff and ears

One of my fellow students, John, and I were practicing our skills together at school

Monday I woke up to quite a suprise. It seems my blog was featured on Firegeezer. For those who do not know, Firegeezer is one of the most popular fireservice oriented blogs out there. It was really a surprise to see that others were interested in my climb and they had really nice things to say about me. It was really a great boost to keep me going. I did not know until my brother called me to ask how I had managed to get there, that my brother is an occasional content contributor to Firegeezer. It turns out, one of my team members, Fireball, recommended my blog. She sometimes writes for Firegeezer. I just want to say a big THANK YOU for the nice things she said and for bringing me some extra attention. It really is an encouragement to get surprises like that and makes me want to succeed all that much more!

We had our first training burn of the year this week. I was so excited that the department decided to hold it on a Tuesday, because Tuesdays and Fridays I don't have class so I felt better about attending between work shifts knowing I would be able to study in the evening. The home they burned was at one time a really neat home. It was 6,000 square feet! Yes, six THOUSAND.   The home had belonged to a plastic surgeon who passed away last year in his 90's. He left it to his kids, in their 70's. It was view property overlooking the Puget Sound. It had an indoor swimming pool!   The "kids" were not able or willing to keep up with it so they decided to develop it.   The least expensive way to do that is let the fire department burn it down!   Sadly, I don't have ANY before pictures for you. The house was so big that it's front yard was on one block and the back yard was on the next block. We were staged at the backside of the house. The front side faced the waterfront and the house was on a hill so we saw one story, ground level. I didn't even know about what the other side looked like until it was too late!

I was very excited to be on this training burn because... well, since I've been in school I haven't gotten much fire action. Also, I know stuff now. Like signs and symptoms of heat emergencies, what to do for smoke inhalation, how to take vital signs, etc. Canteen services are part of rehab which means we get staged next to the medics. My Battalion president made sure the medics knew who I was (meaning that she told them I was an EMT student who needed to practice) and they were very kind. They said they would be happy to let me assist with the medical portion of rehab, taking vitals while they watched.

I was thinking to myself what a great day it was turning out to be. The weather was beautiful, I got to go to a fire, I was being given the opportunity to practice my new skills and get feeback, I was spending time with the Battalion crew -which is ALWAYS a hoot!, our new safety helmets were finally here and we were working out of Canteen 1 for my first time, and I got to hang around big red trucks and firemen! I was in wannabe heaven! Hot Damn!!!

Here's our crew (Some members were unable to attend)

This is the back of the house when things were just getting started.

This photo was taken by a fellow Fire Buff, Firekat Babine.   "New Face Shield, Please!"   Looks like it was a little hot in there.

And then things went down hill. First the rehab area got put downwind. Not supposed to happen, but it did. It was smokey and stinky. We spent a lot of time not in our designated space. Second, most of the best view was on the other side of the block. Third, the medics spent most of their time actively involved with the burn, ready to go in as the rapid extrication crew. Fourth, I had to go back to work (leave by one-forty at the latest) and they still hadn't taken a break for lunch yet. The sandwiches were arriving as I was leaving. Fifth, none of the crew came through the medic portion of rehab before lunch. And the last bummer was that the major burn didn't happen until after I left! DAMN!

This is how things looked as I was leaving to go back to work.

And here are some photos Firekat snapped after I left!

Still, I had a lot of fun! The firemen and our crew bantered back and forth ribbing each other which is good... it means we're all still one big happy family! I even teased a chief and an officer who were kicked back on the hillside looking like they were relaxing and watching a show! And I got teased when one of the engine crews parked behind my car early on and saw my license plate... "MOMMY."    "Are YOU Mommy?" they asked me. Our president told me I should have told them "I am today, I'm going to take real good care of you!" Because that is what we do. We take care of them so they can take care of everything else. And it is a privilege to serve.

This week in class was especially intense! Normally we cover 3-4 chapters a week. This week we covered 8! In addition, we had class today, Saturday. The morning was lab time and the afternoon was exam number three. Usually I spend the weekend before an exam studying like crazy. Not cramming... I study hard all week anyway, but really focusing on areas I think will give me the most trouble. That was not possible this week and I didn't even have time to do any focused studying during the week. It was all I could do just to keep up! Still, I scored an 89 on the written exam. The class average was 84 so there are a few out there who did not pass (remember 80 is passing). I thought after taking the exam that I had done better than that but despite my best efforts to avoid it, I made some really dumb mistakes. Like reading a sentence that starts out something like, " An abnormal rate of respirations in an adult is...." and thinking I read "A normal rate of respirations..."   GRRRRR! I HATE it when I make those kind of careless mistakes. I really try to go back over all the questions again but somehow, I still don't catch those kind of mistakes. If anyone knows a strategy to help with that, I would greatly appreciate the input! I did ace the two practicals, AED/Cardiac Management and EPI-Pen Auto Injector.

Well, that is the best of my week. I'm headed off to our monthly Battalion meeting now. When I get home I will add the pictures to this week's post and then post it.

Thanks for supporting me with all your well wishes, prayers and encouragement. Hugs to everyone!

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Ho Hum

2010-05-15T16:44:00.000-07:00

May 2nd-May 8th, 2010 Days 224-230

Hi Team!

Sorry I am posting late again. Busy, busy, busy! I honestly don't have much to tell you about this week. I have not really had any adventures this week. Here are the grades:

PT: B

Study Hall: A

Health: C

R&R: C

Overall Grade: B-

I guess I really had the most trouble with the R&R. Sleep seems to be more and more elusive. I have to study and classes are getting out at 10 pm. That makes it hard to fix the problem! If you are one of my prayer warriors, that would be where I would ask for special concentration. I'm starting to feel like a walking zombie again. I need sleep and good quality sleep at that.

Friday was a busy day. Our official canteen unit hasn't been on a run since before I was officially a member of the Fire Buff Battalion. All of our runs have been in our private vehicles because we currently house the rig away from all of our residences. Earlier in the week we got a call from our Fire Department requesting that we attend a training burn on Tuesday of next week. WOO HOO! At least we will see some action! Anyway, the Canteen 1 rig needed a thorough cleaning and inventorying. On Friday, right after my morning shift I headed to the Firefighter's Union Hall, where we currently have her stationed, and assisted our president, her husband, our secretary and our newest wannabe with the giant task. Everything had to come out, shelves had to be washed down, food mostly trashed as it was expired, storage containers scrubbed and refilled, etc. It took a lot of elbow grease and a lot of reorganizing. The members who used to house our rig turned it over to us in a pigstye state when they left the club. She's all pretty and functional now though!

Sorry this isn't more interesting or exciting this week. I just really have not done anything noteworthy that I can recall. I'll try to give you something interesting in my next post!

Stay Safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Disaster!!

2010-05-04T20:04:00.000-07:00

April 25-May 1st, 2010 Days 217-223

Hi Team!

It was a long week and I didn't post this over the weekend because, well, I just didn't get to it. It isn't like I haven't been busy or didn't need to rest! In fact, I got sick Friday night. Nothing too serious, just light headedness, nausea and generally feeling crummy! All I wanted to do was crawl under a nice warm blanket and sleep... and I did! In fact, I slept a lot this weekend. Now I am feeling better.

Here are the grades for the week:

Rest and Relaxation: C+

PT: C

Health: B+

Study Hall: B

Overall Grade: B-

I did not have to study so hard this week, other than the intense studying at the beginning of the week for Wednesday's test. Speaking of which, I aced the patient assessment practical for a medical patient (32/32) and I missed only one point on the patient assessment for a trauma patient (43/44) -luckily it was not a critical fail point! I never once completed a trauma assessment without a critical fail in practice! The written exam went extremely well. I scored a 92 bumped to a 96 after class discussions. What a relief to have that all behind me. Well, sort of. All of those skills will be put to the test and more in my very near future. This class isn't over yet!

I got my mid-term grade report too. Here is how it looks:

Test Score: 92 (x 0.60) = 55.5
Quiz Score: 94.67 (x 0.05) = 4.733333
Attendance: 100 (x 0.20) = 20
Practical: 100 (x. 0.15) = 15

Mid Term Grade: 95.233333 = A

Grading Scale:

94%-100% = A
87%-93.99% = B
80%-86.99% = C
<80% = E

Another interesting thing happened this week. I discovered that I was on television! Remember the Housing Ceremony for Engine 10 I mentioned a while back? Well, it seems it was filmed and used for an edition of "Behind the Shield" which is a program put out by our city on the municipal network (I guess... I don't watch television or get cable so I can't speak intelligently to this.) Anyway, in the last part of the segment, it shows Engine 10 being "pushed" into the bay by firefighters and community members. I am pushing on the passenger side bumper, but I am surrounded by tall people so you can't really see me. Once the pushing stops however, the crowd around it starts to disperse and I can be seen backing away from the Engine. Looking at it now, I cannot figure out why I was backing away but in anycase, I took several steps backward on local television and for that I owe my Battalion icecream!

You can copy and past the address below into your browser then check out the May 2010 edition. It is approx. 13 minutes long. (only if you are so inclined. )

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cityoftacoma.org%2FPage.aspx%3Fhid%3D10045&h=aa1eb

On Saturday, the CERT teams from my town and a neighboring town got together for a joint drill in disaster management. The setting was an abandoned middle school. The scenario was a large scale earthquake occuring during school hours. CERT teams were deployed to deal with the aftermath. The drill was made as real as possible with good moulage (make up artistry of injuries) and even a smoke machine was brought in to simulate a fire. I volunteered to be a victim for this drill. My assignment was to play a walking wounded who was crying and scared but cooperative. Boy can I cry! I pretended to be very scared and I cried and cried until my left eye actually started leaking! Later people told me they thought I sounded very realistic and one victim, who was supposed to be beligerent and uncooperative said my annoying crying was real enough to help him get into his role! (I think he meant it as a compliment. LOL) I only fell out of character once when a rescuer asked me if I was warm enough. The abandoned school was very cold inside and we were there for quite a while. I was in triage when she inquired and it was so much warmer outside that I actually laughed. Oops.

Stay safe!

Hotflash out. (pictures follow)

(My usual self)

(Left wrist scrape)

(Right Wrist scrape and badly bruised or broken thumb)

(Bruised jawbone, beginnings of a shiner)

(Bruises complete)

(Bruises complete, view two)

Other Victims from minor injuries to major....

(If you can't handle, gore, DON'T LOOK ANY FURTHER!!)

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V

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V

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Report from Ladder Company 40 The New Adventures of Sparky and Flash

2010-04-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

April 18-24, 2010   Days 210-216

Hi Team!

It has been a great week! Well, there have been some ups and downs, but I am generally pretty happy.

I would like to take this opportunity to welcome my newest team member, John. I don't know how John came to find my blog but I am very happy to have another supporter on board! Thanks for joining, John. =)

Ok, report card time!

Physical Training: C

Rest&Relaxation: C+

Health: B

Study Hall: A

Total grade for the week: B-

I am actually quite frustrated with the fact that I can't get the physical training grade up. I need the exercise and I need to start really strengthening the core! I won't make much of an EMT if I can't do the physical aspects of the work! For those of you out there who are my prayer warriors please pray that Godwould show me how to fit it in and help me to balance it with everything else I have to do these days.

I have been better about taking SOME time off from work and studies, though I am still not getting nearly enough sleep. I was so tired before class on Thursday night I didn't have the energy to eat my dinner! Well, I managed, but it was a real effort Being that tired makes driving kind of scary. Needless to say, I nap when I can and I pray a lot!

I am still working on getting the fluids in and eating healthier. I know I haven't weighed in for quite a while or taken my measurements to see where I am at.  After a month of class and no exercise, I am kind of afraid to. But I will try to get that done for the next post. Nothing like a little reality to help boost the will power to make the right choices.

As I said, I have found more balance between work and studies and have taken some time to relax this week, but I have also put in more hours of study than I care to count. I would say I have averaged two hours a day in studies over and above work. And I found a program online that is put out by the publishers of my EMT book. It is a study aid for the EMT exam. I find it to be way more challenging than the dumb stuff that came on the disc that came with my book and more challenging than the web site the book directs us to for further study. The program was not very expensive and gives me free access for one year. I think it was well worth the $35.00 I paid for it.

Okay, enough of that. Last week I told you that something cool happened but I was sworn to secrecy until later. Well, later has come!

A little back ground: If you know me very well, you know that I am involved in the Fire Buff Battalion. The Battalion has been around since the early 1980's. That was when I first decided I would really do something about my interest in the fire service. Sadly, I was intimidated by the uniform and was too shy to talk to the firemen four doors down from my home! So, when our city hired it's first female fire fighter I wrote her a letter and had my little brother help me deliver it to the fire station to pass along to her. Long story short, he kept being my Linus Blanket and his interest and excitement for the fire service grew to epic proportions! He got so excited about it that he had a portable scanner and small electronic siren mounted to his bicycle and he began beating the fire department to many of their calls, even in the middle of the night! He was even investigated as an arsonist! Before the investigations started, he got involved with the Fire Buff Battalion as a junior member. For a number of reasons, not the least of which I believe was a personality conflict with at least one of the members, he was removed from the club. He grew up and settled down but never lost his passion and excitement for the fire service. He has been a fireman now for nearly 17 years.

Recently my brother had the opportunity to meet the current membership of the Fire Buff Battalion while he was in town visiting. He met the core of our group (most of them, anyway) and we had a wonderful time listening to his stories and reminiscing about his childhood exuberance! That night we got a fire and he was able to tag along with us! He helped out and when things settled down on the fire scene, he made the rounds to the more long term fire fighters, introduced himself (many remembered him or had heard of him!) and apologized for his over the top enthusiasm as a kid. The firemen seemed to enjoy it and I know my brother did.

Good thing this was the short version, eh? Ok, the point of it all is this: At our April Fire Buff Battalion Meeting, our President brought up his visit and his past history. She called for a motion to offer my brother an honorary membership in the Fire Buff Battalion. Even more special than that, a recently retired fireman was the one to make the motion. He remembered my brother from his early days. The motion was seconded and passed. A long-time wrong has finally been righted! The Buff's affectionately nick named him Sparky. So now begins the New Adventures of Sparky and Flash. :)

Last week I reported that I was in contact with a fireman from a large metropolitan city to the North of my town. He had spoken to his captain who agreed to allow me to ride along one day. But I still had to jump throught he departmental hoops to do it. I found out from Ladder 8 (his screen name) that I had to write a letter of interest. He told me who to write the letter to and I did it. I wanted to reference our casual acquaintance in the letter and I didn't know his last name so I e-mailed him about it. He e-mailed right back and I finished the letter. He had recommended that I send it electronically but even on the website for their department, I could not find an electronic address to send it to so I e-mailed him again. He e-mailed right back that he would find out the fax number and e-mail it to me the next day. He did one better! He called me on my cell while I was at work that afternoon which surprised the heck out of me. He said he was calling to tell me that he had taken the liberty to print the copy of the letter I had sent him, signed my name to it and hand delivered it to the appropriate party! What a sweetheart! I can't believe he went to all that trouble for me, and we've never even met! I got a letter the next day from his fire department along with a waiver that I had to sign and return before my request would be considered officially. I have taken care of that already, of course. And when I asked him what kind of cookies he liked so I can bring a thank you to him, he said, "Cap's favorite are chocolate chip." I LIKE Ladder 8!

One more thing for this week. I wanted to share an example of how good God is. I have a fellow student in my class who sits right next to me. He is kind of quiet and perhaps a little unsure of himself, but from what I can tell, he is deeply caring and compassionate. I think if he gains some confidence he will make an excellent EMT. He confided in me that he really could not afford a sphygmomanometer set (cuff and ears to those of you who don't know) and he needed to practice taking blood pressure outside of class where our hands on time is severely limited. God really put it on my heart to do something. But with my husband's recent demotion and pay cut, I was not sure it was prudent to be spending money that was not absolutely necessary. Still, I really felt drawn to do this. I talked to the hubby about it last Sunday before church. After some discussion, he said we could talk about it more after church. At church, a woman came up to me and said, "I have something for you." I was quite surprised. She took my hand and carefully palmed a few bills, folded, into my hand. She said to me that it wasn't much but she was sure that I could use it. That maybe I had a need or want that I could not afford and she hoped it would help. Well, I was very surprised and thanked her for it but I didn't look to see what she gave me until I went home. When I unfolded the three bills, it was almost exactly enough to buy the set I was looking at. And then I heard from my mother-in-law that the keynote speaker at women's retreat that weekend had focused on this: Use what is in your hand and be faithful.   The tears just rolled down my cheeks as the Lord confirmed not once but twice what I was to do and He provided a means to do it! I purchased the set on Monday and brought it to class. I asked my friend if he had been able to obtain a set yet and he said that he had not. I took him aside and told him that God had put it on my hear to help. I asked if he would accept a loan of a set until June 10th, the last day of class. I thought he was going to cry. Happily for me, he accepted. My plan is to watch and see how he does. If he remains serious and stays with the class, I intend to give it to him at the end. If for some reason he is not able to remain, (which I seriously doubt will happen) I will speak to my instructors and make sure that someone else who needs it in a future class gets an anonymous donation. It isn't mine after all, I was just given the privilege of sharing a gift from the Lord. God is good!

Well, this post has been long enough. Thanks for reading and thank you for all of your prayers, e-mails, comments and cheering for me. You are all amazing! I am truly blessed.

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Stayin' Alive!

2010-04-18T17:24:00.000-07:00

April 11-17, 2010     Days 203-209

Hi Team!

I have completed my third week of EMT school! And I'm still here!

Here's my report card:

Physical Training: C

Rest&Relaxation: B+

Health: B

Study Hall A+ and Extra Credit

Total grade for the week B

I did not study as hard this week as I did the previous two weeks but I have in well over 20 hours of study on top of school so I think I am okay there. I got a bit more sleep and more recreation time this week because I was going crazy without it. I could be doing better with the fluid intake, but I am keeping a bottle of something with me where ever I go, with the exception of weekends, and if it is there, I tend to drink it without even thinking about it.

The exam this week was a lot harder than I had anticipated. I scored an 89 and the average class score was 82.4. With 80 being passing, that means some of my classmates didnt' make it this time. And I noticed by thursday there were only 31 of us in class out of 34. It will be sad if we've already lost three students. I was really hoping all 34 of us would make it.

The practicals were hard! I was unvelievably nervous! Airway Module: Mouth to Mask Ventilation had 6 points possible, all critical failures if missed. Airway Module: Oropharyngeal Airway had 6 points possible, all critical failures if missed. Airway Module: Nasopharyngeal Airway had 9 points possible, all critical failures if missed. Airway Module: Ventilatory Management: Bag Valve Mask -Respiratory Arrest had 6 points possible, 4 were critical failures if missed and ventilations had to be initiated within 30 seconds (to avoid critical failure) and demonstrated for a minimum of 30 seconds. Airway Module: Oxygen Administration had 15 points possible, all critical failures if missed. No pressure to perform here. It is only Do or DIE! But, by the grace of God I aced them all. (Though I don't believe I should have.) I think my evaluater was very kind to me because I know I let go of my oxygen cylinder to reach for an oropharyngeal airway without laying the cylinder down first and when I realized it I said, "Crap, I let go. I wasn't supposed to do that!"but she did not mark it as a critical failure. Perhaps because I caught it before she did, I do not know. In any case, I'll take the pass. I knew the right thing to do and I won't make that mistake again!

When the written and practical exams were over, my class mates on either side of me and I exchanged high fives and one of them did a little song and dance "Stayin' Alive!"   It was appropriate. We're all still in!!

One thing that sticks out in my mind from this week was a demonstration that Cliff, one of the instructors did for us. We were talking about trauma patient assessments and blood loss. He told us that blood WILL freak us out. He said that when we do exercises later in the quarter there will be moulage (make up of injury simulations). He said he will be able to make one tablespoon of blood cause us to miss major threats to life, even though he is giving us advance warning. To demonstrate he took a one liter bottle of water and mixed some stuff in it to simulate blood. Then he took us outside and poured it out as he walked, leaving a six inch wide trail of "blood" that was probably a good 30 feet long. And he finished with, "And that is not a life threatening amount of blood for an adult!" It was pretty impressive, especially for a visual learner like me.

In other news for the week, I got brave and contacted a firefighter in a large metropolitan area to the North of where I live, whom I "know" from the Crusty Jakes website I frequent. I asked him if he would be willing and or able to pull some strings and arrange for me to do a ride-along so I can get some visual experience. He was very kind and spoke with a paramedic buddy of his and with his captain, who was happy to agree to it. He got back with me and told me who to contact formally to make the request and gave me dates that would work for him. It looks like it's going to happen!  : D I have to write the letter this week but it sounded as if that was merely a formality. I also spoke with one of the guys on our Fire Buff Battalion who just retired the 30th of March from our local FD and he gave me the contact name for our department and some tips to try and get a ride-along with them.    And the Fire Buff Battalion crew was very kind to me as well. They all have been very encouraging of me in my schooling and several of them allowed me to take their vital signs last night at our meeting. I really feel very fortunate to have made such great friends there, on this blog, on some of the social network sites and my fan fiction writing website. Everyone really encourages me and supports me and it really makes a difference!

Another thing that happened this week is that Emergency! Season 6 became available. I have been looking forward to this for a LONG time! I went to Borders the day after it came out and they did not have any copies in store, even though I asked about it three weeks ago and they told me it would be in. I was not happy. I went over to our local mall to the FYE store to purchase it. I could not find season 6 on the shelf, only seasons three and four. I inquired at the check out and they said they had one in store. But then another associate leaned over to the first and whispered something. The associate helping me said, "Well, we have one in store but we cannot sell it because it is on hold for another customer." I am sure I did not look pleased. Here I was, in store, with cash in hand and they would not sell me what I came for. He offered to order it for me and told me it would only take about two weeks. OH GOODIE!   I am afraid I wasn't very nice. I was mad that they told me they had a copy they wouldn't sell. It would have been better to say they didn't have it. I looked at him and said, "NO, if my money isn't good enough for today, it won't be good enough for tomorrow or any other day." and I turned and walked out. I felt (still feel) a little badly about it because the man seemed nice enough and wanted to help, but for an item that was JUST released, you would think they would have copies available. I am pretty sure they did not have lines around the block for 36 hours and just sold out before I got there! And I think it is terrible customer service the way they handled it. I was very unhappy. On saturday morning I let my fingers do the walking and found out that Best Buy had it and cheaper than Borders or FYE told me it would be. I went and bought it right away! : D
I have watched four episodes this weekend. I like it.

One other thing that is really awesome happened this week but I have been sworn to secrecy until it can be formally announced to the part(y/ies) involved. It is KILLING me to keep quiet because I am very excited about it. I hope that I will be able to share it in my next report!

That's about it for this week, pallies.

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 I'm Doing It

2010-04-10T20:50:00.000-07:00

April 4-10, 2010   Days 196-202.

Hi Team!! (yes, TWO exclamation points.)

This was the second week of EMT class which wasn't quite as intense, thankfully.   Before I tell you about my week, let me give you my report card.

PT: C

R&R: B

Health: B

Study Hall A+ and Extra Credit

Total grade for the week B

I have not really improved in my PT because I still don't have much discretionary time. But I have been as active as I can. I am going to count being purposely active as at least partial credit since it is an effort being made. Therefore, when I am purposely active, like taking the stairs instead of elevator, walking around the area that I'm supervising instead of standing in place, etc. on a daily basis (at least 5 days in the week), I will allow a one letter grade upgrade for the week.   I think that is fair.

This week I have gotten a lot more rest than last week. I went to bed early Sunday night and Tuesday night. I even took some naps this week because I was on a modified work schedule for Spring Break. It felt so GOOD to sleep! I could still do a lot better here though.

I have been keeping a water bottle with me filled with either, water, orange juice or iced tea at all times. I find that when I am sitting in class, I will drink my water bottle without even thinking about it. In fact, in class on Thursday night I drank three waterbottles full. (48 ounces in three hours). For ME that is amazing! I also learned this week that it takes 1 1/2 litres of water a day for the body to humidify the air we breathe on it's way into the body when the humidity and air temperature are normal for our area.   That is why when you are in the elements, especially windy, dry or hot environments, you need more water. Now I know one of the reasons it is so important to drink our fluids!

Monday was our first class test. We had a 50 question multiple choice quiz and two practicals. The practicals were to put a patient into a rapid extrication device and then transfer the patient to a long spine board and secure the patient to the board. Our instructor allowed us to come in very early before class time to practice and to have our questions answered before our test. I was glad I was working on my spring break schedule because it allowed me to attend the extra lab time. I scored 43 originally on the test which made it 86%. 80 is the minimum passing grade. Our instructor allows us to argue or "challenge" the ones we get wrong as a class and if he agrees with our challenges, or partially agrees, he will give us credit.   He will only give us credit if we provide solid medical support for our challenge. And then everyone who got the answer that you get him to agree with gets credit for it also. BUT... if you get a question that way, it will still be wrong if you mark it as such on a futrue quiz or test. In otherwords, if he gives you a future test with the same question and you get it wrong again, you will never get credit for a right answer for that question. In anycase, class discussion and challenges raised my first score to a 98! :D And... I ACED the practicals! WOO HOO and YAY ME!

At the end of this post is an embedded code to see a video of the practical skills I tested on. In the video, it is shown how to apply a KED (Kendricks Extrication Device) to a seated patient, such as a passenger or driver of a car. The second half of the video shows how to move a supine patient (lying down, face up) onto a long back board. My actual test included, applying the KED and moving the patient to the long board and securing the patient to it. We used three rescuers and the video only shows two. We learned to do things a little differently and I noticed one BIG flaw in the video, which was that the medic did not measure the patient for the cervical collar. So, this video isn't perfect and it isn't exactly what I learned and practiced, but it will give you a general idea, if you care to watch it. It is just under 9 minutes long, as I recall.

Monday I also had to turn down a fire call. =(   The call came in around 12:30-12:45 in the day time. I had just gotten to the grocery store after my shift at work. The call was for a mutual aid structure fire but I did not recognize the address. When I called in I was told it was at Brown's Point. Ah, instructor Cliff is Assistant Chief at Brown's Point, Fire District 13. He may have been there! I don't know. It was too far out for me to go on an afternoon when I had school in the evening. :( I hate declining calls even though we do provide a voluntary service!) And wouldn't you know it, when the week settled down, I put in my request to the Fire Buff Battalion President, Cat to bring on the next Big One because I was now ready, willing and able to respond and all she could do was say, "I'll see what I can do." Nothing has happened yet! That was Thursday night!

On Wednesday, Cliff taught us about Adult Learning styles. He helped us learn some techniques to retain more of what we were learning and to memorize things better. He also demonstrated his point by teaching us to memorize all of the first 10 Presidents of the United States in ascending and descending order in about 4 minutes. And guess what?   I still remember them all! Of course it had nothing to do with becoming an EMT but the technique and exercise made me feel more confident.

Confidence. I guess that is what the week really was all about to me. We studied the hardest and most important chapter in our book this week, all about airway management. I was pretty worried about messing up on it but we had our airway lab on Thursday and I did just fine! I am pretty comfortable with the equipment now and I know the difference between a Pocket Mask, a Non Rebreather Mask, a BVM and a FROPV Device. And I can insert an Oroesophogeal or Nasoesophogeal airway into a dummy (who is not fighting me and who's gag reflex and the result of said reflex are not actually present)! And I can pronounce everything I just wrote! All in all I am feeling a lot better about this class and my abilities to learn and to do what is needed. I actually found a little time to chat with friends online and to get in some writing. YAY!

One more thing I got to do was spend some quality time with my best friend, Coach Alex! YAY! We went to the Gem Fair at the Tacoma Dome on Friday evening and we bought the most BEAUTIFUL shell beads I have ever seen! It felt SO good to have a little bit of a life outside of work and school!

Well, that is about it for this week. Here is the link to that video I was talking about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDmgAC8hAGk&feature=related

Have a great week and stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 What In the World Am I Doing?!

2010-04-03T19:03:00.000-07:00

March 28-April 3, 2010 Days 189-195

I have been giving this new and improved blog some thought and I realize, that under my current circumstances, it is going to be very difficult to get a good grade for myself here. I decided not to worry too much about it though and here is why: In class this week we learned about vital signs. The first set is called the baseline vitals. This set of vital signs is a basis for determining how well our patient is doing when compared to later readings. We can see through trending if the patient is staying stable or if the patient's condition is deteriorating. When I thought about that, I thought the same is true of my grade in this blog. Each week's grade is a baseline vital for the following week. Keeping that in mind and knowing that I am giving my all in this endeavor to become an EMT, I feel a lot better about the grade, even though it doesn't meet the standard of where I WANT it to be.

This week's report card:

PT Who has time to exercise? D
R&R What's That? C
Health B-
Study Hall A+ and Extra Credit

Total grade for the week C+

Monday was the first day of class for me. I hope that the weather was not a sign of things to come. All day there was nothing but a giant storm cloud following me around. One minute we had a brief glimpse of blue sky and sunshine then the angry black clouds would roll in and release their wrath of rain and hail upon us. When they were through, they would quietly disappear and the sunlight would show for another moment before the next regiment rolled in. The wind was relentless and unforgiving too. All in all, it was an ugly day outside. Great day for the first day of EMT school. SIGH

I had been nervous and anxious about the first class all day. One of my child care parents came in to pick up his son before I left for school and when he saw me he asked me if I was okay. I wondered why he would ask. I was smiling. I was engaged in activities with children. I told him I was fine and asked, "Why? Is my face red or something?" (I have Rosacea, a skin condition that causes blotchy redness, among other things) Sometimes when the Rosacea acts up people think I am sick or getting sick so I assumed this was why he had asked. He said that I looked fine it was just that God had really put it on his heart to pray for me. WOW! It is always so special to be loved and acknowledged by God.

When five o'clock rolled around, I waved goodbye to my staff and the kids and I did something I have not done in over twenty years... I went to school. I walked into my classroom about 35 minutes early. There were two young male students in their seats, no where near each other. I felt very shy and uncomfortable but, since I have been trying hard to overcome my shyness, I painted on a smile and walked in. I made eye contact with the nearest student to me and said brightly, "Hi!" I got absolutely no response whatsoever. Really. I glanced at the other student, across the room and he didn't look up at me. I sat down at the seat in front of the first student and began looking through my text book again, reviewing the material that was to be covered that evening. Rough start!

Shortly after that another young male student sat next to the one I had chosen to sit in front of, the one who had so blatantly ignored me. Their conversation was annoying at best and I realized I was sitting in front of two very immature boys who were going to annoy me to no end if I did not move. Several students later, one walked in who was female and roughly my age. She sat in the front row, which is where I really wanted to sit to begin with but didn't for some reason so I moved and introduced myself. Her name was Cindy and she was at least friendly. We chatted for a few minutes and presently, Adrian, a young man who had been in my CPR for the Professional Rescuer class spotted me and sat next to me on the other side. I was very glad to see that he had made it into the class!

Our instructor, Tom, is a fire chief and paramedic for a local county fire district. (We have a second instructor, Cliff, who is an Assistant Chief for another neighboring county fire district.) Tom told us that we were no longer going to have any friends, social life or time for family or anything else for the next three months. He gave us our course outline, walked us through the process of becoming an EMT Basic in Washington State and launched into the night's materials. He was kind and understanding about people's schedules and personal lives but firm about his policies and the DOT requirements for the course. At the end of the night I went home, expecting to be entering a dark house where everyone was asleep only to find out that my hubby waited up for me for my first day of school. As soon as he hugged me and asked how it was, I burst into tears! I was so overwhelmed. I don't know how I am going to go to school and work full time. I know God knows all about it, but I have to say, I am stressed out.

Tuesday morning I did something I have never done before. I attended the housing ceremony for our local fire department's new Engine 10. As anyone familiar with the fire service knows, traditions are an important part of any department's history. Some traditions universal to fire departments include bag pipes, red fire engines and dalmations. It is even a tradition that if one firefighter gets shown on television he or she must buy icecream for the rest of their crew. Another tradition is the housing ceremony.

Housing ceremonies date back to the 19th century when fire apparatus was usually a horse drawn wagon filled with water. Even back then, when a fire company bought a new fire wagon, they invited the community to come see it. After the community came to view it the fire crew would "push" the wagon back into the firehouse because horses don't easily go in reverse!

While we no longer use horse drawn wagons for fighting fires, the tradition of a housing ceremony still exists in varying forms today.

The program was about a half an hour long, maybe a little shorter. The prelude consisted of a lovely piece by a piper from our city's honor guard. It was followed by a short speech by the fire department's spokesperson. After that the Fire Chief spoke of the many runs that Engine 10 has made in her tenure with our department. Our station 10 is the busiest in our state and the chief spoke of what great care that her crews gave her to keep her in such good shape.

The COO of the Darley Company gave a short presentation about what remarkable shape the old Engine 10 was still in. He spoke of the demanding specs that the city required of his company when ordering apparatus and how Darley Company had worked so hard to meet those needs in great detail. His speech was followed by the Vice President of Spartan Motors who shared similar information from the Spartan Comany's perspective.

Then came the fun. "A" shift pulled out old Engine 10 onto the apron and the guests of the ceremony were given an opportunity to look her over one last time and take pictures before the crew "pushed" her off the apron for the last time. Then "B" Shift backed the new Engine 10 onto the apron. Again there was time given for pictures and admiration of the new rig before the invocation and Blessing were given by the Chaplain Emeritus (he retired after many decades of service with the department this past January). His prayer was beautiful asking that Engine 10 and her crews would be a blessing to the community in their service to it and praying for protection for the crews and citizens they serve. I was very touched by it.

Once that was done, the community was invited to assist in pushing Engine 10 into the bay to begin her career and service. I was first to take position on the front passenger corner and together we all "pushed" as the "B" Shift Chaffeur backed her into place.

It was a beautiful ceremony and not something I will forget for a long time. After it was over, fire fighters and their families, administrators, citizens and the like all visited and shared light refreshments. I made my rounds to the few that I knew and then went home to study.

Here are some facts about the retiring Engine 10 which was also a Darley Pumper on a Spartan Chassis:

Engine 10 has proudly served our city's South End neighborhood since 1996. In it's lifetime it went on nearly 60,000 calls and travelled an amazing 201,428 miles in serving our community.

Some facts I learned about the new Engine 10:

The new Engine 10 is a state of the art fire engine. E-10 has enhanced safety features and is compliant with EPA emission and fuel conservation standards. The electronic pump and valve controls (for regulating the water supply) have been improved and designed to increase dependability and efficiency. Engine 10 is 9 feet 5 inches tall and 31 feet 8 inches long. It has a 1,500 gallon per minute Darley pump and two booster line reels. The Engine carries 30 gallons of foam, 2,500 feet of hose and has a 500 gallon water tank. It also contains a Class A compressed air foam system.

***************

Tuesday after the ceremony I hit the books then went back to work. I came home and hit the books some more before going to bed. Just before going to bed, I did something I really didn't want to do. In fact, I hated to do it, but it was the right thing to do. I used my fire phone and put myself, "Canteen 7" out of service for the next 96 hours. It was not a choice really. Our code is family first, work second (including school) and Buffing third. I will not be able to respond to many fire calls until I finish school. I will be in service when it is appropriate to do so, but this class is definitely my priority. I want to live the dream!

The rest of the week consisted of getting up in the morning, going to work, coming home and studying, going back to work, then on Wednesday and Thursday I went back to school and finally came home to bed. I didn't make it to bed before 11:15 any night this week until Friday night when I came home from work and spent about two hours goofing off (catching up my email, mostly). Then it was back to the books until I went to bed about 11, but I didn't get up until 6. SEVEN WHOLE HOURS!!! WOO HOO! When I got up at six I went back to the books and finshed up preparing for today's class. Today we had lecture for four hours on lifting and moving patients and taking baseline vitals. Then after an hour lunch break we had three more hours of class to practice our skills. Monday will be our first test, both written and practicals. EEK! Class was over at 4:00 but I stayed after when Tom asked for a few volunteers. (I'm not a dummy! When the instuctor asks for volunteers, it is a learning opportunity and I was not about to pass it up!) He had a few of us stay after and participate in a test for a former student who had taken an incomplete last quarter due to some extenuating circumstances. One of us got to be his patient, the victim of a car accident, and the rest of us were part of the student's crew and were directed by him as he took charge of the scene as the EMT.

All in all it has been a very hard, challenging and trying week. I spent many hours studying, few sleeping and pretty much none recreating. I spent mostly driving time praying and did a fair amount of crying in private moments and while talking to God. I am feeling a little better right now and I am still glad I am doing this.

I don't know what I would have done with out all the support I have gotten from you, my team members, my friends, co-workers, family and the families that I serve at work. I am very blessed.

Stay safe, Team!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 The New and Improved Blog Plan

2010-03-30T22:16:00.000-07:00

March 21-27, 2010 Days 184-188

Hi Team!

This past week has been long yet went by quickly. I can’t really explain it except that it is finally over and I am very tired from it all and wishing to go back at the same time.

Friday morning at 2:45 am I was dispatched to a 2-11 (2 alarm structure fire) in a commercial building. It was a medical building and when I arrived it was spewing flames from the front of the building and the roof. Sadly it was arson. The fire chief released us just as my alarm went off (I use my cell phone for an alarm clock) to get up for work. Sigh.

Saturday my husband and I spent four hours at the Fire Training Center going through the practical exercises for CERT and received our certificates. It was a great class and I learned a lot there but I want more than that. I can hardly wait to finish school and get working!

Saturday my brother surprised me with a visit so in the evening the Fire Buff Battalion all went out to Shari’s to meet him and visit. After I dropped him off at his in-laws where he was staying I went home. He had asked that I call him to come play if we got anything and I didn’t expect it to happen. I’ve gone weeks without a call and never had more than one in a week before, but hot damn!… (no pun intended) at 22:30 a call came in. 1-11 in the north end. (Single alarm structure fire) and we got to play!

So, as you see, it has been a busy and constructive week for me. I only got two days of planned exercise in but went on two fire calls which I worked at so that sort of makes up for the one miss. I drank all my fluids for the week but my sleep was in the tank! I must figure out how to improve that and fast.

I have talked about redesigning this blog and now I think I know what to do. I think I will give my self a weekly letter grade. A,B,C or D. Sort of like a weekly report card.

The subjects will be Physical Training (PT), Study Hall (studying for school), Rest and Recuperation or R and R (Sleep), and Health (where I will report on my fluid intake and occasionally on my weight loss efforts).

The report card will have a section for Extra Curricular activities: Fire Buff Battalion stuff, Dream stuff, etc.

Here is how I will grade myself:

If I purposely exercise 3 times a week I will get an A for Physical Training

2 times a week will be a B

1 time will be a C

No times on purpose will be a D

Studying will be added to my list of things to be held accountable for. (We’ll say a minimum of one hour of study is a unit. I’m sure there will be much more than that.)

5 days of studying gives me an A

4 days will be a B

3 days will be a C

2 days will be a D

Each day I drink at least 2 quarts of fluids including skim milk, water, tea (hot or iced), 100 per cent juice, or sugar free drink mix I will give myself a point.

Seven points will be an A

Five or six points will be a B

Four points will be a C

Three points or below will be a D.

You might notice there are no E grades or Failing grades. I am doing it that way by design. If I am going to do this, failure is NOT an option! I am going to do this, one way or another.

Now, I am not unrealistic. I know I have a lot of challenges that could prevent me from getting to the top of the ladder I’m climbing. I may never be a firefighter/paramedic. Physically it is an extremely demanding job and my old, beat up body might never be able to hack it. But I’m not going to roll over right now and say, “I can’t.” It is not part of my vocabulary. I am going to shoot for the moon. If I become a paramedic and have to work for a private company, I’ll do it. If I don’t make it as far as paramedic, I can be an EMT for a private company. Or even in a hospital.

Either way, I am going to do this. I will be certified to make a difference. Even if I never save a life I can make a difference if one person feels like their emergency was a little more bearable because somebody cared or somebody allowed them some dignity. Even if I never hear “thank you,” I will know I have made a difference by seeing fear start to subside or by being able to reassure a frightened patient or family member. I want to be there. I want to help.

Last night I sat down to think for a moment and it suddenly hit me! The time between “I’m going to go to school” and “I AM going to school” has disappeared! This is it! No more talking. This is where the rubber meets the road. Bring it on!

Thanks for staying with me through this. I know I don’t always post interesting things and I ramble, etc. But you, my team, have remained faithful and give me more encouragement than you might ever imagine. Half of you came to my blog by invitation and half of you stumbled upon me one way or another all on your own. Either way, I am grateful to have you here.

I hope you like the new and improved Report From Ladder Company 40. It starts with the week of March 28-April 3rd.

Until then, stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 178-183

2010-03-22T22:19:00.000-07:00

Hi Team!

(March 17-22)

Wow, have I gotten behind or what?! My life is picking up speed and I am finding it harder and harder to sit down and get my blog done. And the sad thing is that it isn't because I'm avoiding it. I like my blog. I think personally that it can get to be on the boring side when it is all accountability report and no anecdotes to go with it, but I love the the feedback and encouragement I get from blogging. And when I do have stories to tell it is really fun to tell them. The problem is simply that there are not enough hours in a day or days in a week to do all the things I want to do.

Why am I rambling about all of this? Well, it is because it is high time that I find a solution to the problem.
I could, of course, just stop doing some of the things I do to make more time for others. Actually, I already have. I could blog less often. I've done that too. It isn't going so well because by the time I get to it, I have forgotten details of the very things I am hoping my team will hold me accountable for. I could stop blogging all together. I don't want to. I have made some nice friends here and, as I said before, I appreciate the comments and encouragement I find here.

Those are the only ideas I came up with, save for one. What is that, you ask? Okay, so maybe you didn't ask but I'm going to tell you anyway. The ony solution I can come up with is to revamp this blog. I don't have all the details yet, but I am thinking of blogging weekly, (on the weekends) reporting on my progress with keeping active, drinking enough fluids and getting enough sleep. (well, more sleep than I used to anyway. I am not sure I will EVER get to the point that I get enough sleep!) It would be a general weekly rating instead of my daily three for three. I give details of how much I drank, just the number of days I met or exceeded the goal. Same for exercise and sleep. Then I will try to tell something about my week in each blog. That should be easy now. I have this week to finish up my CERT training. I am sure there will be something interesting to talk about from that. Then next week on Monday EMT school starts.

OMG! I can't belive it is almost here! That sure creeped up on me fast! And CERT classes made me realize I am probably overdue for my second hepB shot. I wonder if that means I have to start over? UGH! I hope not! Oops, that wasn't what I intended to write about. Back at the ranch....

I hope that I will have the basic format figured out in my head by this weekend. I probably will not blog again until then. I hope that isn't too disappointing for you, my loyal team. I need your support and encouragement as much as ever and I want you to know I truly appreciate it. You have been faithful followers and I doubt I would be where I am without you all gently kicking me in the backside from time to time.

Feel free to leave input as to what you would like to see here. I don't want to make this a chore for you to read as I fear it has been too often already. If you like seeing certain things here or have questions, please let me know. I do like to talk. I just don't always know what to say!

I will write at you all later!

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 176 and 177

2010-03-17T21:55:00.000-07:00

Hi Team!

As you saw by my pre-post, I am very happy to announce that I am NOT pregnant! The thought of being pregnant at 41, having a kid graduating high school when I'm 60 and kissing my last shot at my dream goodbye had stressed me greatly. Although, after I laid it on the alter, I really started to feel at peace with the possibility. I knew I would be sad to let go of the dream yet, I started to think it wouldn't be so bad. And then when I found out for sure I was not, and I told my husband, I really had a flood of mixed emotions. He said to me, "Well, you were the only one who was worried. I wouldn't have minded."

                                        o_0

For years I wanted another, and he never seemed concerned when we didn't get pregnant. Now he's the one feeling sad? Wow. I never knew he felt that way. And now I just want to hug him non-stop and tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am for the disappointment. Not that I personally disappointed him, but I am feeling sad for the loss of what could have been for him. Does that make any sense?

Well, thanks for letting me just ramble about it a bit. I feel a little better.

Monday I did not want to go, again, to work out. I have been having real issues about just getting there lately. I felt very tired and ill. I went any way. (Because Coach Alex doesn't like it very much when I cancel!)   Although I only walked two of the three miles we planned to walk, I was glad that I went. Alex just happily chatters away while we walk and I occasionally throw a word or two in of my own. This time she was talking about a lesson she learned when she went to see TD Jakes on Friday night. And the message was very uplifting to her. It was uplifting to me in her re-telling. God is so good. He always sends the encouragement I need just when I need it. Sometimes it is something from His word. Sometimes it is a call from a friend I haven't seen in a while. Or a new team member for my blog. Or any number of things. Every day I feel His blessings upon me and I am very thankful.

Not only did I work out, but I drank all the fluids I set out to drink for the day. 2 1/2 quarts of water and iced tea. Lately, it has been an effort to get the fluids down too. Maybe the stress of my busy schedule and anxiety about school is affecting me worse than I thought. No matter, I have a strong desire to succeed and a good support system.

I also slept well last night. I don't remember waking up at all. But even though I slept through the night, I am very tired. That is probably due to trying to adjust to daylight savings time more than anything else. In any case, I had a three for three kind of day. Yay me!

All in all, it was a really good day.

Tuesday

Report first: Slept well, drank 3 quarts today and was as active as possible at work. It was not a scheduled work out day so I score three for three. Yay me!

In CERT class tonight, we started Disaster Medical Operations. Our class tonight was taught by a 25 year veteran paramedic from our town's fire department. She was funny and fun to learn from. We had been warned ahead of time not to volunteer for anything. We didn't have to. She never asked for volunteers, she chose victims. And I got to be the one she demonstrated pressure bandaging on. She was built as solidly as they come but definitely the size of a woman. Except for her hands! They were giant MAN sized hands and that woman could grip! Somehow she gripped the gaping arterial wound in my arm with one hand as she showed how to wrap it and apply pressure at the same time. Even before she wrapped my arm, I felt my hand start to throb. Then she wrapped it expertly and tied it in a tight little bow, on the first try without catching her fingers in the bow, with two pairs of nitrile gloves on. And she made it look simple. And for her, it WAS simple. Then she continues holding my hand up showing off her handy work and talking about the technique. She looked like she might untie it at one point but then I swear I saw an evil grin cross her lips as she stepped away from me and continued to lecture the class. Then she'd step back and look and talk some more. She was pleased to see a good vein in my arm and announced she could easily get a 14 guage in there. NO THANKS! I didn't sign up for that. She let out an evil laugh when I declined. Then she walked away and continued talking again. My hand started to look a little ashen in color. My hand and fingers were throbbing. I swore anyone could see it if they glanced my way. She kept stealing glances at me. I was waiting her out knowing it was a test and she was waiting me out, knowing she would win. Finally I could stand it no longer and tried to non-chalantly untie it. She stopped talking mid-sentence to ask me why I was taking it off so soon. And then gave that evil smile again. I think she likes me.

Later, when we had learned how to triage, she sent a third of the class out while the rest of us were given assignments as vicitms. Oddly I had another arterial bleed. This time in my other arm on the upper part. I was propped up agains the legs of a table, underneath the table for cover. We had just had a terrible earthquake. I was in the center of the room. As I screamed about the spurting bright red blood I waited for somebody to help me. I freaked out because it was shooting across the room and I knew I was going to die and I just couldn't stop the blood. Still it was five minutes before anyone looked at me. She was very nervous and she tied my pressure bandage on me as she talked trying to calm me down. She was so nervous that she tied it underneath the wound. And she asked me if I had children to distract me from asking questions about the blood. I told her I had a 17 year old son then started to freak out because I didnt' know where he was. She didn't know what to do. I felt sorry for her. I wasn't a nice victim. Finally I felt sorry for her (really I was just feeling glad to be a victim rather than a rescuer!) and I pretended she calmed me down. I should have been dead by then anyway, right?

My turn is coming. Next time I will be the nervous rescuer. I can't wait to find out what I won't remember. In fact, with all we covered last night, all I could think about on the way home was how much there is to learn and how little capacity my brain seems to have available. And this is the tip of the iceberg. EMT school is less than two weeks away. Oh BOY!

Thursday night we will cover Disaster Medical Operations, part two. I'm nervous but looking forward to it. If nothing else, when I graduate from CERT I will have learned a few skills and will have had some wonderful networking opportunities at the very least. I am hoping for more than that. I am hoping to feel comfortable practicing my new skills and I hope to feel more confident that I am ready for a true emergency and ready to help. God help me. Even though this is strictly voluntary, it is a big responsibility.   I want to rise to it and do it right.

Stay safe, team!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 176 (Pre-post)

2010-03-15T11:00:00.000-07:00

Hi Team!

Guess what???

. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:) :) :) :) :) :)

Now I am a happy camper!

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 174 and 175

2010-03-14T22:07:00.000-07:00

Hi Team!

Friday

I am feeling much less freaked out and more calm today. On my way to work this morning I laid everything on the alter. I told God how I felt about this whole thing. I admitted selfishness in that I really want to pursue this dream of mine and I am not eager to give it up. But I love God and I know He loves me and wants what is best for me. I realize what amazing obstacles have already been overcome to get as far as I have and I still feel in my heart that He has directed every step of the way. Then I thought about some of my recent words.
"Nothing is going to stop me." "I'm not going to give this up for anything." "I'm going to have my cake and eat it too." And the list goes on. Things I said to keep myself motivated, but also prideful things. I realized that living this dream is my Isaac. And I prayed God would forgive me for putting it first above all else. I had been cautioned against this by my friend Gigahertz and still I let it happen. I prayed that God would take my life and use it for His will. That he would use it to glorify Him. I told him I would give it all up if that is what He asked of me and I prayed that if I should have to He would fill my heart with gladness and fulfillment in His will. I prayed many more things on the way to work that morning. Finally, I find I am at peace.

I still don't know if I am pregnant or not, though I suspect not. I have taken two tests and both have come back negative. However, I have not had any corroborating evidence. I still don't like not knowing. But I am not freaking out.

To those of you who have been sending me well wishes and offering prayers on my behalf, I thank you so much.

OKAY, report time!

I slept fairly well last night, surprisingly. I guess when one gets tired enough that will happen. By the time my morning shift ended however, I was feeling pretty tired and run down. Again, I only showed up for my walk with Coach Alex because I didn't want to be "disciplined" for not doing so. LOL (Because Coach Alex is SOOOOO scary!) Seriously though, I was glad I went, as I always am. And Coach rewarded me with a white chocolate dark cherry mocha. Mmmmmmm! Besides the coffee, I had two quarts and 12 oz. of watered down juice today. That puts me at three for three! YAY ME!

Saturday

I slept VERY well last night. :) =D =) Today I drank well over three quarts of fluids but they were not all good ones. There was about one quart of water, one and a half quarts of iced tea, 8 oz. of dark beer (left over from cooking for my potluck), some juice and lots of punch (consisiting of lime juice, 7-up and strawberry-kiwi sherbet) at the potluck. I was as acive as I usually am for a Saturday which isn't terribly, but I have done everything I am supposed to do so I am saying three for three today.

It was a day of running for me. First I took my mom and step dad to the train station so they could go to band camp. Mom plays tenor sax and Pop plays barry. Mr Flash and I got them all settled at the train station and then went to take my Explorer in for a recall issue. (of course they called it a courtesy repair, not a recall). As we pulled out of the dealership in my husband's truck my cell phone rang. It was my mom all upset that they had forgotten her walker. My mom needed the walker to be able to move around on the train and she even uses it most of the time at home. Luckily she has made an excellent choice and had arrived at the train station nearly an hour early. My husband and I scrambled to get to the train station, pick up Pop, take him back to the house for the walker and a few other things he wanted to look for and we got him back just in time to board.

Next we drove to the fire training center so I could show my husband where it is. Our next CERT class is being held there and we both will be arriving in separated vehicles straight from work. After that we had to do some grocery shopping. UHG!

By the time we finished all of the running around, we had barely time enought to change clothes and run out again to go to a party! the Fire Buff Battalion St. Patty's Potluck. We got home around 9:30 pm but since we lost an hour, we counted it as 10:30 and hit the sack.

Stay safe, my friends!

Hotflash out.

Report from Ladder Company 40 Day 173

2010-03-12T23:21:00.000-08:00

Hi Team. (No explanation point, sorry)

I am still very freaked out. A little more calm but still freaked out. I know I should not be when I don't have any evidence one way or the other, but it's easier to know that than to practice it. I keep thinking about it. My kids would be 18 years apart. I'd be sixty when my kiddo was ready to graduate. I guess that is one way to ward of empty nest syndrome. Sigh. I just feel like if that happens, I'll have to kiss my dream goodbye again. And it won't be revived after that. I'm pushing it now. I think I've gone from panicky to feeling very low.

I told my husband. He took it like I knew he would. He stayed very calm and didn't appear the least bit concerned. He said I shouldn't stress it until I knew something. I said that I knew that. Then he started to get on my case about "why are you stressing then?" I had to explain to him what I just said in the first paragraph of this post. It's easy to know when you're being irrational. It's not so easy to change the feelings that go with it.

Those closest to me who know what I am going through are having a wonderful time of it. The evil laugh of my assistant when I told her was almost unbelievable. Then later she came to me out of the blue and said to me, "Mrs, Hotlash, I'M NOT!" and jumped up in the air and clicked her heels together.

At first, being out of context of our work, I didn't know what she was talking about and I said, "Not what?"
But the big gleeful smile and the evil laugh that followed made me realize what she was talking about. She is having WAY too much fun at my expense.

I told my mom tonight and now she's freaked out FOR me. Even she commented on how ironic it is though. Another time would have been fantastic! Now, not so much.

OKAY: Report time.

I didn't sleep much at all. :( I did drink plenty of fluids... Nearly three quarts. Most of it was sugar free iced tea drink mix, though I did allow myself a glass of Cherry Pepsi at lumch out with my staff today, but only one 12 oz. glass! That's a habit that could re-form WAY too easily. Since lunch was also a staff meeting and I ran errands for work during my entire split today, I worked 12 hours straight today. I didn't go out of my way to exercise but it was not an exercise day for me either. I can fairly claim two for three for the day.

In Ladder Climbing news:

My second CERT class was tonight. The topic was "small fire suppression". Our fire departments inspector taught our class tonight. We covered all kinds of prevention stuff, more in depth than most talks and lectures I have heard in the past. We talked about how fast fire grows and about the kinds of conditions that can change rapidly during a fire. We covered the importance of the buddy system and that reverting to "Plan A" was always a good option to take. (Plan A is RUN AWAY!) After lots of lecture, lengthy question and answer periods, and a few videos, we were ready to put on our green CERT helmets, goggles and gloves and go practice with the fire extinguishers.

My CERT issued gloves were a joke! I think they would have been too big for my feet, with my shoes ON! When I saw them on Tuesday night I made it a point to make time to go buy gloves that would work better for me. I had a hard time finding leather gloves small enough. I found some that were close but on some parts of the back of the hands there was some kind of "polysomething" fabric. I didn't know if the CERT class instructors would accept them as a substitue for the standard issue "one size fits all" (that doesn't really) gloves. I needent have worried. When my partner and I stepped up to take our turn putting out the fire, the Fire Inspector looked at my gloves as I took the extinguisher from him.

"I see you got some practical gloves! Nice going," he said.

Sadly, we did not get to put out any real fires, though it had been planned that we would at least have flames! They use a computer operated fire machine, for lack of anything better to call it. It creates controlled flames and you spray the extinguisher at the sensors on the side panel of the machine that the flames come out of to simulate sweeping across the base of the fire with the blast from the extinguisher. Unfortunately, while we were inside the classroom, the rain messed with the machine and then the Inspector was not able to ignite the fire. So we put out invisible ones. BORING but probably not any more boring than putting out "fake" fires. Still, I guess it's better to have fake fires than to be called on to put out real ones. I guess! Seems logical anyway. Unless you're a goofball like me who has dreamed of doing just that her whole life. Sigh. (At least my bro lives my dream! -well... Part of it anyway. He isn't a paramedic.)

Last but DEFINITELY not least, I want to wish a BIG WARM WELCOME and THANK YOU to Brian for joining my team and following my blog! I have been enjoying his blog: Switch 2 Plan B: Misadventures of a Firefighter http://www.switch2planb.com/

*Note to Brian: I have to admit I was a little embarrassed at the thought that you joined when my "freaking out" post was the post of the day! But you have a wife. I'm sure you understand. LOL And it really made my day to see you as my new blog follower!

I cannot tell you all enough how much it means to me that you stick with me even through the most boring posts and continue to encourage me and lift me up in prayer the way you do. I feel so blessed to have friends like all of you. Even the ones I have not met. I hope some day to have the pleasure of meeting all of you. I'd give you a great big hug of appreciation, that's for sure!

Stay safe everyone!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 172

2010-03-10T22:04:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Wednesday

I am feeling crappy still though the nausea seems to have passed. OMG!! as I write this I realize that many of my recent symptoms are reminiscent of... AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! NO it CAN't BE>>> I am NOT pregnant! But I have been way tired lately. And I am peeing a lot. I mean often but not a lot at all. YIKES!! I better not be late! As if I can judge that. I haven't been regular in three years! OMG OMG OMG!!! I'm really scared!!! That would SO suck!!! Just this past weekend I saw a mom with a teeny tiny infant and said, "Oh, I want one of those..." then shocked myself when I quickly said, "But not to keep!" I was just thinking I had finally passed a major milestone in my life. OMG!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!

OK, stop freaking out. Nothing to worry about until I know something. RIGHT? I cannot believe that I am going through this thought process on my blog. Well, that's life. It IS part of my journey right now. OMG I am freaking out! I mean like... almost panicky! The timing would really suck! I WANT TO BE A PARAMEDIC!!!

I'm too freaked out to write right now. Sorry to leave you hanging!

Stay safe!

Hotflash out!

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 170 and 171

2010-03-10T22:03:00.000-08:00

Monday

Ok I admit it. I only exercised today because I was afraid to call Coach Alex and cancel. I'm glad I walkd though! I just felt so tired and worn out. Even after 12 hours of bed time on Friday night. I drank my fluids today, two quarts plus a little more. I don't remember what time I went to bed Sunday night so I'll be conservative and say I am two for three though I may have been better than that. I am still feeling crappy.

I just feel sick to my stomach, and very tired. Nothing else to report for Monday.

Tuesday

Well, I have had a headache all day but otherwise have been feeling a little better. No nausea. I drank about 3 quarts today of WATER, and iced tea. I have kept busy today, not exercising on purpose but not lazy either. It isn't a scheduled workout day so I am giving myself three for three. (oh, I got a fair amount of sleep!)

Today was the first CERT class. We have quite a varied bunch of volunteers taking this class. Child Care directors, , Paramedic wannabe, School librarian, Traffic engineer, architect, safe streets leaders, former first responders from NY, retired CIA, young adult neighbor of mostly elderly people, military guy just back from Afghanistan and his wife, etc. Great mix! This should be very interesting.

We got our green CERT helmets, goggles and gloves made for andre the giant! (seriously, I couldn't do anything in my gloves if my life depended on it!) I will have to go find some other gloves and buy them. We are required to bring these items to each class hereafter. When the class is over we will be issued substantial disaster kits. I am told they cost the city 60 dollars each before tax. I can see waiting to make sure we are serious before issuing them. We are not being charged a penny. And they feed us too. Today was pretty much orientation to CERT. Thursday we will launch into small fire suppression. Using extinguishers complete with practical exercise. I hope they'll accept whatever gloves I find as a substitute for what was issued. My gloves would be too big for my feet with shoes on!

Not much else to report.

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 168 and 169

2010-03-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Saturday

Today was a humdrum kind of day. I went to bed a little past 8pm last night, or maybe a little closer to 9, I'm not quite sure but friday night wrestling was still on (UGH!). I just couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and Brian did not get me up until 8 this morning so I had PLENTY of sleep last night. I drank 2 quarts of juice/sugar free drink mix today, barely. I did not go exercise even though I am a little behind. I simply did not feel that well today. I have to give myself a two for three. I did go with my husband to help my mother-in-law pick up one of her two vehicles that were in the shop and then we went to breakfast together. It was nice to catch up with her for a change. We only live 6 tenths of a mile from her and we both love her dearly, but we haven't been connecting much lately. I enjoyed our morning together. After that Brian and I did some much needed grocery shopping. How fun! (NOT) After that, I was pretty lazy the rest of the day. The long week must have caught up with me because even after 12 hours of rest I am still exhausted.

Sunday

Today I am in worse shape than yesterday. I woke up feeling fine. But after I ate breakfast (the largest banana I have ever seen -and I shared it with my gluttonous brat), I started to feel nauseous and that remained feeling that way for pretty much the remainder of the day. I went to church anyway and then came home and napped. Nothing else was accomplished today. I awoke around dinner time feeling much better. I did get two quarts of sugar free drink mix down today, after dinner. I simply didn't feel like or think about drinking anything much earlier. That makes me 2 for three again today. Could be worse. I'll try to get better, I just think my body got worn out.

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 167

2010-03-06T21:18:00.000-08:00

Friday (FINALLY!!!)

Hi Team!

I did it. I survived to Friday. I'm not sure how. But I did drink three quarts of iced tea and juice today and I slept 7 hours. YAY ME! (I did not go meet Coach Alex to walk today so I have to take a two for three today.) Instead, I met with a fellow Fire Buff Battalion member and our most recent wannabe (John) to go visit some fire stations. John has been an unofficial buff for a long time and has taken a lot of pictures and posted them on various websites he has created. Photographing fire apparatus is a hobby of his and he wants to be a firefighter some day. He is kind of shy and so is Firekat, the member that went with us. I claim to be the shy one but they put me to shame.

We went to station 15 first. When we got there, Firekat told us to go ahead of her. John starts to go to the back fo the fire station and I tell him to follow me, the front is over there (pointing). He says to me,
"I never knock on door before" (he is Japanese with good but not perfect English) "I always stop when they are washing trucks." This particular fire station is a converted house with a large bay built along side of it for the fire engine. The windows on the bay door are so far up that none of us can tell if anyone is even in quarters. I told him we'd have to knock because no one was out and proceeded to lead the way. Being shy as I am, I signalled for him to go first when we got to the door. He backed away quickly. I looked at Firekat who very quickly said, "Don't look at me!"   AUUUUUGGGGHHHH! Okay. Babies! I knocked on the door. They both stepped back. The door opened and I was holding a clear plastic box of home made chocolate chip cookies in front of me. An older fireman looks down at us and says, "Nobody's home! Go away! (I am sure he has noticed my fire buff battalion patch on my sleeve of my coat and Firekat is wearing a fire buff battalion sweatshirt). I said, "But we have home made cookies!" He opened the door wide and looked at only me saying, COME ON IN!!! Funny how cookies always seem to break the ice. I introduced myself to him and the other two firefighters, who came to the door when they heard "cookies" and I introduced Firekat and John and explained why we were there. They were so kind and obliging! One of the guys pulled the engine out onto the apron and another one said, "Hey, it's kind of dirty from the last shift. It's got a little mud on it, should we wash it?" The officer nodded in the affirmative and the three of them began washing it. I tried to make some small talk with one of the firefighters just so I could feel a little more comfortable. John was kind of demanding, I thought, in his requests but I think it was a cultural thing in how he went about it. I tried to throw in the pleases and thank you's and explain a little about what John was doing this for. The guys were very obliging moving the engine into the best light, closing the bay doors, removing the helmet from the dash and out of the picture, etc. They joked with us and were really very nice. They quizzed John on CPR because he told them that one of the guys from the C shift had been his instructor. I told them about my dream of becoming a paramedic and that I was starting school soon and hoped to be doing my ride-alongs with our fire department. They were very encouraging. Our visit got cut short when they got a call but they thanked us for our interest and thanked Firekat and myself for our work with the Battalion telling us how much they really appreciated us working to take care of them. Aw shucks! They are way too kind. I love firemen!

When we left 15's we went to 8's. I had never been in 8's in their current building but always wanted to. (Remember I grew up near 8's original station house). At 8's John knew one of the firefighters. She remembered him so that made things a little smoother. They were happy to see cookies and were then willing to oblige us as well. I told one of the guys I would never show up to a fire station empty handed and he laughed. We talked quite a bit while John was making requests and doing his thing with the camera. This guy, whose name escapes me now doggonit, was around the old 8's when my brother was around there. I was telling him that I grew up four houses to the south of the old 8's and he started asking me questions about when and exactly where. He knew the exact house but he was there several years after I was gone from the area. I told him about some of my brother's antics and he had heard all about him. In fact he knew very well who my brother was! My poor bro, his reputation preceeds him! He is infamous. I told the guy my brother grew up to be a good guy and a father of six and a fireman. He was quite impressed. He almost choked when I said they all lived in a fire station and of course I had to explain. He thought that was really cool and said so. I told him my brother was pretty embarrassed about his legendary past but he blew it off. He said we all do things when we're kids and then we grow up. Then he started telling me about his kids. It was really fun talking with him.   Later he asked me what I did and I told him what I currently do and about school and my dreams. I even admitted that I grew up secretly wanting to be Roy DeSoto, to which he laughed again. I told him that I knew it was likely too late to become a career fire department paramedic but that I was going to do my best and see where it took me. He asked why I thought it was too late and I told him about an email I got from a new fire chief back east that I had contacted. (She just became the first full time female fire chief in her state!) She told me that if I was looking at a paid gig, civil service, then 41 was too old to get started but that if I was interested in a volunteer department to go apply. This firefighter said that was not true. He added that it might be where she's from but that our town did not have a cut off for civil service. He told me of a man who was 51 when he was hired on as a rookie just a few years ago. He told me to not give up and to go for it! Forget could nine, I'm now on could 57! I LOVE FIREMEN! (Did I mention that already?)

Shortly after that Engine 10 pulled up to station 8 and the Lt. of 8's went to the engine to talk to the crew. After about five minutes, Firekat and I were talking to each other waiting for John to finish up his pictures and Engine 10's crew was ready to leave. We didn't know it though. Before they pulled out they turned on every loud noisemaker they could and Firekat screamed a little and we both jumped out of our skin! I may have screamed a little too, I don't know because I was watching Firekat and hearing her scream! After Engine 10 was a half a block away they turned off their siren. So I guess they did it on purpose! GOOD one guys! You GOT us!!! It's nice to be loved!

When we left 8's we tried to deliver cookies at 7's but they were not home and we waited until John had to leave for work. We dropped John off at his car and drove back to 7's to wait for them. After a while though, we gave up and decided to go to 10's. I'm sure they would have gotten a kick out of it if they had been home but they were out too so we tried 11's, which was on my way home. They too were out. Busy day I guess for the local FD. I can't give away the last dozen cookies. Oh well. My staff are looking foward to them.

Yesterday, I told my staff I would be visting fire stations today and that I had to bake cookies when I got home last night. One of them said, "Sure, she makes cookies for the firefighters but she forgets all about us!" I said if they called me Chief I would bring my crew cookies! When I got there I found my teacher and called her Captain. I gave her cookies. My assistant was the Leiutenant and our substitute assistant was the boot. (he asked if he could at least be the helmet! LOL I had to explain what boot meant.) They didn't seem to mind. They like cookies as much as firemen do.

Today at work I was so tired that I couldn't even write an incident report without sleeping. Seriously, my eyes were open but I had no control over what I did. I was writing a report about a child's unsafe behavior. It started out fine. "Joe's" behavior was unnaceptable when he continuously tried to leave the play area today. There was a stranger on the playground who had balloons and he kept trying to talk to this person even after he was talked to several times about it. Ms. "McGillicutty" attempted to discuss the......   (you won't believe what I wrote next) "beholden monkey stealth." Suddenly, after I wrote it my brain started to re-engage and I thought to myself, "What did I just write?" Then I looked.

"...attempted to discuss the beholden monkey stealth."

What in the WORLD???????
Where did THAT come from???? What does it even mean?

Oh my gosh I am SO tired!!!

Okay, not only am I so tired, I am certifiably insane. On that note...

Stay safe.

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 165 and 166

2010-03-06T20:12:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Wednesday

Well, I did not meet with Coach Alex today because I had an early release day at work, meaning I had to come in early to greet kids that got out early. In addition, I had a meeting with the Fire Buff Battalion during the shorter split. Today I received my set up for my car to be used as Canteen 6. I got two magnetic signs, gatorade, water, and cookies. I just need an ice chest now. (pictures coming in a future post)

I did well on fluids today. 3 quarts! YAY me. I did not go exercise but was again very active at work, especially since I had an extra two hours and extra children. I slept about 7 hours so that makes me three for three. I'm still really tired though. It is hard to catch up on missing sleep.

Thursday

Good gracious me, I am TIRED!!!!!!!!!! I am a walking Zombie, officially! I drank two quarts today, barely. I was as active as I usually am on a non scheduled exercise day. But I can only claim 2 for three because last night I did not sleep. It wasn't my fault but as tired as I have been this week already, I'm not gonna try to defend it. I'm just too beat. Here's what happened:

It seems my dog got into the garbage this morning, where she found about 2 1/2 pounds of chocolate. It had been mixed with Craisins and was a great snack, until the craisins crystallized (well the sugar in them did anyway) and left a texture that was less than desirable (apparently) to my son and husband. My son threw them away.

Although my dog is not perfect, Kaylee has always been pretty well behaved even without formal training. However, lately she has decided to knock over recycle bins and the garbage can every time she is left home alone. Usually we put the trash can in the bathtub to prevent this. Unfortunately, my son forgot to put it back after his shower. When I came home after my morning shift the can was knocked over and there was garbage strewn about. I cleaned it up after scolding Kaylee and didn't think about it again. I did not know that it HAD been full of chocolate.

When I came home from my morning shift, Kaylee seemed a bit more "clingy" for lack of a better way of describing it. She wanted lots of cuddles and attention. Okay, so I figured she was lonely. No big deal, I took a nap because I was exhausted from the night before and Kaylee cuddled up to me and napped too.

That night after dinner and after everyone else had gone to bed, I was starting on writing my blog. (I did not finish it due to the next event but I saved it and finished it later.) As I was writing, suddenly I heard Kaylee start to wretch. Oh no! I turned to look at her and she threw up chocolate puke all over my carpet. I ran to get something to clean it up and before I got back and cleaned it, she had done it three more times in different places. (Sorry to gross anyone out!) I cleaned up several messes and called my husband out of the bedroom to give me a hand. Kaylee went and drank a bunch of water then tried to settle on the couch next to me while I petted her and tried to comfort her. By this time I had figured out she had eaten chocolate because it looked and smelled (sorry) like chocolate. But I had no idea where she got it or how much she ate. After about an hour of this happening over and over and after a lot of prayer, she seemed to settle down and want to sleep. I let her curl up in my lap in the recliner chair and we started to go to sleep. Shortly after the light was off she did it again. All over my top blanket. In order to contain it and to try and keep my second blanket from getting yucky, I wrapped her up in the top one. Of course, this covered her in the mess. I hollered for my husband because I could not let go of the dog to un-recline the chair and I couldn't get up with it reclined. He came and took the bundle from me and started her bath. I got the laundry started. This cycle of puking, drinking water and trying to sleep lasted all night. My husband took over her care at 11:45 because he knew I had been up the entire night before due to the fire. ( I LOVE my husband!!)

I am happy to report that at about 4:00 Kaylee stopped puking and she has been fine ever since. Thank God!! I really thought she was a goner this time. I would have been SO sad. I love that little brat. (get it? She's a weiner dog! hee hee) -sorry

Sorry this has been posted so long after the time it should have been. I had it almost finished in draft form but not posted because I kept falling asleep at the keyboard before I could finish and post it. Now I'm playing catch up!

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 164

2010-03-04T22:36:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Tuesday:

WOW I am TIRED!!!   :)   And happy! Last night at 10:45 pm we got a call for a structure fire. Reported to us as a garage fire that moved into the house. I woke up fast enough to get the light on, grab paper and pen and get the address written down before Our fearless leader finished the PTT call out. Then I radioed back, "This is Flash. I am responding!"

The fire was less than three miles from my house. My heart was pounding as it sunk in that this was a working fire. I remember thinking, "This is silly that I would get so excited. I'm not going to FIGHT the fire. I'm going to support the guys who do." Still, I was excited. My husband chatted with me briefly as I threw my clothes on and got ready to head out the door.

"Be careful," he said.
"I will, but my job isn't dangerous, you know." I replied.
"I know, but drive carefully, and you never know what can happen," he answered.
"Yeah, I know." As I tied my shoe I looked up at him. "Wanna come with me?"
"Are you crazy? I'm going back to bed!"
LOL

I ran out to the car and opened the back, grabbed my orange turnout coat and threw it in the passenger seat up front. It had the Fire Department ID on the front of it and I knew I might need it to get past police blocking intersections near the fire. I "raced" down the road. (Actually I drove the speed limit because I have no special privileges, but with the streets fairly empty, it was kind of racing.   My heart was. I certainly wasn't dawdling!) About half way to the fire I found myself on a main thoroughfare following about two blocks behind a fire engine running lights and sirens. We were headed south. The fire was ahead to the south west of where we were. About three blocks from where it will be necessary to head west, the fire engine pulled over on the east side of the road. I thought, "?????????" and then as I passed I saw them hopping out, removing turn out coats and heading into an apartment building. Ah, another call. Not a fire.

When I got to the intersection where I would need to turn west, it was full of smoke hanging low. It was not impeding visibility but I could see that the Fred Meyer parking lot on the south west corner was full of smoke too, and it was fairly heavy. The light was green for me but nobody was going anywhere. I thought to myself, "This is weird." I looked around. No visible flashing lights except several blocks to the west and they were stationary.    I looked again to the left, the right, in front of me, behind me in the mirror. Nope, nothing. No emergency vehicles coming. The light was still green. Still nobody was moving. "Okay people, I am on my way to the fire. I don't have time for this." I looked again, all directions then slowly pulled out into the intersection and turned west. A few blocks down was a fire engine blocking the oncoming lane. I turned south the block before it and approached the scene from behind. Surprisingly there were no police cars blocking my way this time around. (Last fire I responded to I had to show my ID to get through. When they saw it, they just rolled their eyes at me and waved me through.) I parked about a half a block from the nearest fire engine. I did not want to be in the way. I jumped out of my car, grabbed my coat and threw it on, reattaching my ID badge as I did so. I shut and locked the car and started heading rapidly toward the fire, in search of the chief to find out where he wanted us. Citizens were everywhere. The first couple who saw me approaching stopped me and said, "excuse me ma'am. Are you the fire inspector?" LOL "Uh, no." I'm laughing inside. "I'm with the canteen." (That's what it says on my BUTT!) "Oh," they said and I headed off on my way. ( in retrospect I kind of wish I had glanced toward the burning structure, squinted my eyes with my hand open above them as if trying to scan farther and said, "Yep. That there... THAT's a fire! -I would never do that!) I was the first of the Fire Buff Battalion to arrive on scene. My car wasn't set up as a canteen unit yet. I had no water, no gatorade, no cookies and no signage. I approached the scene and crosed over some small red hose sphaghetti. There was a gaggle of about 6 or 8 firefighters kind of huddled and talking. I could see a blue hat (safety), red hat (officer) and a lot of yellow hats. I didn't see the chief. I saw that nobody was overly concerned with the citizens milling around close to them also stepping over red sphagetti. There were no flames visible from where I was in front of the garage. There was a steady stream of smoke still. One of the guys in the huddle of firefighters looked my direction. I could see he recognized me as one of the good guys from the crew that re-hydrates and feeds and takes care of him and his buddies. He smiles my direction. I can do nothing helpful yet so I smile and wave and just look cute. Sigh. Where is the rest of our crew? Patience! "Remember," I told myself. "You were the closest. They'll be here soon." I staood around looking pretty for about 10 minutes before the cavalry arrived but we set up quickly and firemen started coming over before we even finished. We passed out a lot of water, gatorade and cookies. The chief talked to us and told us what was going on. He told us how much he appreciated what we were doing for them. The firefighters thank us, tell us how much they appreciate us, and give us hard time. This is great! They only give you a hard time like that when they like you. When they accept you like their own. We were there until nearly one in the morning.

Our crew went to Coffee afterwards at an all night diner. We shared stories, observations and laughs. I looked at Mike, one of our crew. He is twice my height. (well almost :) ) He has heard abaout the couple that approached me when I got there. I looked up at him and said, "Excuse me sir, are YOU the fire inspector?" He looked down the end of his nose at me, towering over my 4'10 inch self. "Yes," he says sternly. We laughed. This is a lot of fun. I am glad I got involved.

I got one hour of sleep last night. I did not exercise on purpose but I was very active at work. I also drank 2 1/2 quarts of water and lemonade today. Yes! you read me right... WATER! Okay, fluids, activity, good... that's 2! I get to count 3 though because i was responding to a call! LOL either that or 2 + 10!!!

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 162 and 163

2010-03-01T22:05:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Sunday was a good day. I went to church and then my husband and I had a "date" and went to lunch. Just the two of us. It was a nice time. We have been married nearly twenty years but through out that entire time I don't think we have gone out, just the two of us, for simply the purpose of enjoying our selves and each other more than about 50 times. And I think that is probably a generous guess. My husband isn't and really never was the dating type. We spent a lot of time going out with his family, or him coming to things our family was doing. We went on some dates, but they were not what most people would call dates. We went scouting for animals in the woods and did some hiking, picked up a lot of garbage in the woods, that sort of thing. LOL I just love when we have REAL (by that I mean TRADITIONAL) dates, even if they are rare.

I drank fluids all day long and didn't keep track because my hubby has been very congested and I have had some issues with it as well. I wasn't any more or less active than I am on any other Sunday and I did sleep well so I am calling it three for three.

On Friday I think it was, I found the blog of Peter Canning, a paramedic and writer. He has also worked in government and has done a lot to further the advancement of EMS and build its status as a valued profession.

I have read one of his books, Paramedic 471 and am currently reading the book he wrote prior to that, Paramedic. Both are very good books. Paramedic 471 tells of several of the calls he has run over the years and how he has handled them. It shares successes, not so successful calls, the ups and downs he went through and so forth. He shares what it was like working with various people and all of that. He was an experienced paramedic when he wrote that one. Paramedic was written before that one. In it he is a brand new paramedic and he talks a lot about his doubts and fears as far as his abilities are concerned. I have found it challenging to read Paramedic because I often feel a lot of similar doubts and fears. I just don't have the confidence for the job yet. I know it will come in time and I am not horribly worried about it but it was kind of affirming to read the same kinds of feelings coming from someone I admire in the profession.

Anyway, I found his blog, Street Watch Notes of a Paramedic http://medicscribe.com/ and I just love it. Mr. Canning clearly loves his profession. He is passionate and wants to help others with the same passion be better Paramedics and continue learning to be the best that they possibly can be. His blogs are informative and easy to read. I was very impressed. I went to the page to contact him and sent him a message:

My name is "Hotflash." I am 41 and making a career change. As a child I always wanted to be a paramedic. I ended up working as a manager of school-aged child care programs for the last 20 years instead. Now I am going for my dreams. I start EMT school the end of March and I am taking CERT training during the month of March. Enough about me though, here is what I really wanted to ask you:

What suggestions would you give me to help me in this journey? For example, Is there anything you wish you would have known before you started going to school to become a paramedic? Anything you can tell me along those lines would be appreciated.

Also: I read Rescue 471 and it was eye opening and fascinating. I finally got my hands on a copy of Paramedic and I am reading it now. In it you expressed many of the doubts and fears I am feeling right now, even before I start classes. If I hadn't read Rescue 471 first and seen for myself your confidence and what experience did for you, I don't know if I could continue to read Paramedic because as much as I want to do this and feel I was born to do this, I'm scared. And admittedly, my being twice as old as most of the students is a little intimidating too. What are some strategies that worked for you in beating the doubt monster down? Any advice you have to offer would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for sharing your stories in your books and thank you in advance for allowing me to contact you through this blog site.

Yours Truly,
Hotflash

(I used my real name but that doesn't matter here.)

On Sunday I was pleased to get this in my inbox:

Hi Hotflash-

Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you are enjoying my books.

I think your best bet in class is to read the material carefully and don't be afraid to ask questions. Also, take every opportunity you have to ride as an observer on an ambulance or to do ED observation time if allowed while in class. If the instructors see you are serious about doing this, they will give you extra help.

best of luck and I hope you find EMS as rewarding as I have, i know many people who have entered this career in their 40s and been glad they did.

Peter C

I was very happy to get a response. I know he is a very busy man but I appreciate that he took the time to write back. I most appreciated his last sentence though. All of you have told me not to sweat the age thing, but it really is hard to ignore when all the people I have seen and met so far trying to get into this field are almost young enough that I could be their mother! I just wanted to share this with you because it was very encouraging to me.

Monday:

Today was another good day. Although I was worried at the start of it. When I left this morning to go to work, I got to my car and stepped up on the running board to get in. (Remember I am a shorty and I drive a full sized SUV). Somehow over the weekend, I'm not even sure when, I pulled something in my left side and a pain shot through me that almost caused me to fall. OH BOY did it hurt! I was really worried that it would prevent me from doing much today but I prayed about it and went to work. I went for my walk with Coach Alex and her son, James too. I only did two instead of three miles today and I skipped the stairs. And I spent a good ten minutes stretching before I even started. But I am happy to say that I didn't let it stop me altogether and I am glad. I still hurt tonight but usually only when I try to step up with my left leg. I took some ibuprofin and I am trying to push those fluids. With any luck, by wednesday, I'll be back on the stairs.

I made my quota of fluids just barely today. Two quarts of greentea/lemonade. I really didn't get enough sleep last night, truth be told so that is only 2 for three, in all honesty. Before I call it a night, I promised a pic when I got the patch on my coat. And I have forgotten a few times now to post it. Here it is:

Until next time, stay safe everyone!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 160 and 161

2010-02-27T20:33:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Friday,
I have to say Friday was not the best day I've ever had. First, I had to cancel with Coach Alex for teh morning due to some situations that came up at work. In some ways that turned out to be okay becuase Coach Alex a.k.a. The Smiling Beader, was miserably sick, again some more. It was a good day for her to rest.

I did get plenty of sleep and drank just over two quarts today. And although I did not go for my walk I did stay moving on my feet for 12 hours today. I am definitely counting it as a three for 3 day. I am TIRED!

As I went about getting my work situations taken care of Coach Alex sent me a text informing me that there had been a school shooting in our town and a teacher had been shot and killed. Immediately, even without further details I began praying for that teacher's family, students and co-workers. And even though at the time I didn't know who the teacher was I began to cry. The more I prayed the harder I cried. Then Coach Alex texted again to say that no children had been present and they were all safe, and that the gunman had been shot and killed. I began praising God for the safety of the students and that the gunman was no longer a danger. I remember feeling sad that the gunman was going to hell and wondering about the teacher's spiritual walk.

Later, that night I discovered that I knew the teacher that had been shot. I didn't know her well and had not talked to her in several years, but I did know her. She was a well loved and respected Special Education Teacher. Her name was Jennifer Paulson. And thankfully I know that she is with the Lord. She loved the Lord.

My heart goes out to the students who's lives she touched, to her her co-workers and especially to her family. I pray God would lift up each one and comfort them and restore a feeling of security that has been stolen from them.

Saturday

Well, I have had a relatively lazy day. I spent it studying, writing and reading. I wasn't feeling very well today and my husband is sick so he has been very low key today too. I did, however, make up for my cancelled walk from yesterday. My husband and I took our little dog, Kaylee for a walk for almost 50 minutes this evening. I slept about 7 1/2 hours last night and I have just finished my second quart of fluid for the day. That makes me 3 for three again.

Here's a picture of my Kaylee. She is a purebred Dachshund and she's called a silver dapple. She's a sweetie and she LOVES her walks.

Thanks for supporting me and for all the kind words you send my way regularly. I appreciate your encouragement very much.

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 158 and 159

2010-02-24T21:18:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Tuesday was a hum drum kind of day. Nothing spectacular to report, just that I slep well, drank two quarts of water and sugar free drink mix and was as active as possible during the course of work. 3 for three.

Wednesday

Today Coach Alex and her son James and I hit the mall for our walk. James, having just graduated from college, started walking with us on Monday. Coach took our picture so I could show you our newest team member.

Of course she took the pic at the end of our workout. We don't look pretty, but we worked hard and earned our ragged appearances!

I am trying hard to finish up my minimum fluid intake before bed. The last few days I have not been interested in drinking my water, tea, etc. for whatever reason. It has been a challenge and a concerted effort to do so. I don't know what is up with that. I did get enough sleep and as you saw, I was very active today and I even included another 15 sets of stairs in today's workout... so three for 3! Yeah baby!

I learned something today that I did not know. I learned that my brother's oldest son wants to be a firefighter someday like his dad. I've visited several times since I started this blog and I didn't have any clue! I found out from a school assignment he did that my bro posted. He loosely gave permission to repost as long as the last name was removed to protect anonymity so I did that. You might get a kick out of it.

This autobiography was written by my 11 year old nephew!

Introduction/About myself

Hello. My name is Frank James "Doe" V (5th in descent. See Family/Heritage) I prefer to be called Jimmy, and that is my nickname. My birthday was April 2nd, 1998. My hair color is irrelevant, but if you want to know, it is a moderate brown color with blond tips, a sort of dirty blondish color. My weight changes on what I eat, but it averages at about 85 lbs. I do not know my height, but if I had to guess, I’d say somewhere around 4’7”.

Favorite things

My favorite things consist of family, friends, video games, fencing (sword fighting), snowball fights, and other boy stuff.

My favorite movie is Avatar. It is a movie about a guy who blah, blah, blah, blah. I would just take up space telling you about it.

My favorite book (series) is the Harry Potter series. It has 7 books: The Sorcerer’s Stone; The Chamber of Secrets; The Prisoner of Azkaban; The Goblet of Fire; The Order of the Phoenix; The Half-Blood Prince; and The Deathly Hallows.

Hobbies

I don’t have any official hobbies, but hobbies aren’t exactly official in the first place. I babysit, and I like to play piano. I’m very good at hooking up TVs to DVDs, VCRs etc. I shoot rifles and bows.

Family/Heritage

I am the fifth descendent of Frank "Doe" I. Frank "Doe" I named his son (and my great grandpa) Frank "Doe" II. Frank James "Doe" II named his son (and my grandpa) Frank "Doe" III. Frank "Doe" III (deciding to carry on with the “Frank descent” as my dad calls it) named his son (and my father) Frank "Doe" IV. You can probably guess where I ended up. I am Frank "Doe" V, and hopefully this “Frank descent” will continue. My father’s siblings number to about 25! I didn’t believe it until he explained the unfortunately large number of divorces and adoptions.

My mother’s parents also had many divorces, but not so many children.

I have 5 siblings though, and it’s an adventure.

Personality/Characteristics

I don’t want to go into this subject because I’m afraid I’ll exaggerate some facts about myself. Almost all my family agrees I’m a nut (I’m partial to cashew). Even though my older sister questions my human quality, I’m pretty sure I’m human.

Friends

I’ve had so many friends, I can’t keep count, but I can still name them. This is the order I met them in: Nick, Riana, Molly, Celia, Madeleine, Robert, Quinn, Jacob, Kurt, Aubrey, Joey, and Olivia. I’ve had other friends; I just can’t remember their names.

Conclusion

I’ve had a good life, and I look forward to the rest of it. In the future, I hope to become a firefighter like my dad. I also hope to continue the “Frank descent”.

***********************

I loved it! He can tell a story just like his dad! The only inaccuracy I saw is the siblings. (I mean they are my siblings too, right?) I only count 15, one more legally but not really. (Don't ask, it's complicated) And then there are three more who are "steps". That makes at most 19, but that isn't all that big of a deal in the scheme of things. WE HAVE A LOT OF SIBLINGS!! And when Jimmy said his family thinks he's a nut and he's partial to cashew, he's not kidding. Each of the "Doe's" has been given a nutty nickname! Jimmy's is cashew and I think Johnny's might be "wing" (as in "wingnut! LOL) I can't remember who is who but if you ask me their just a bunch of mixed nuts!

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 156 and 157

2010-02-22T22:01:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

I hope today finds you well. I am doing fine. Sunday was a good day of rest for me. I barely got my two quart minimum of fluids (but the minimum counts!) I slept about 7 hours and then I also had a nap in the afternoon. I was otherwise lazy with my day, really relishing the day of rest! You can call it either 2 for three or three for 3, as you see fit. I did not exercise much but it was a NORMAL Sunday, so you decide. I am content with it.

Monday

Today has been a great day. I am glad to be back at my regular site for work this week on regular school schedule. It beats the crazy staffing and shifts of the mid-winter break and I only have 32 children to work with instead of 90 plus!

Coach Alex and I had our walk today and her son James joined us. We had a nice walk of two laps indoors at the mall (two miles) and a partial lap outside and I did 15 sets of stairs! YAY ME! It has been a while since I have been doing stairs so I felt very good about doing all 15 sets. Coach Alex took a picture of me doing the stairs. It isn't a great or flattering shot of me, and it is at the top on my 15th trip so I am tired! Here it is:

Coach said to post it so I did! I love my coach!

I slept well last night and felt energetic most of the day today. I drank 2 1/2 quarts of water, green tea and lemonade today. That makes me three for 3!

I finally got my fire buff battalion patch for my coat, (I don't remember if I already mentioned that in an earlier post) and today I took the coat to a shop to have the patch sewn on and the flag patch on the other arm re-sewn as it is coming loose in one corner. The cost to have it done will be four times what I paid for my coat!! (hee hee, remember I only paid three dollars for the coat!) I'm pretty happy with that. I can have my coat back on Wednesday. I can't wait, but I guess I have to! I'll post a picture, of course, when it is done.

Stay safe my friends.

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 152, 153, 154 and 155

2010-02-20T23:59:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Okay, this is lame, I know. I let myself get behind and that isn't working so well when it comes to blogging.

I didnt' take notes so I can't give specifics. In that way, I let us all down and I am sorry for that. What I can tell you is that Wed, Thur, and Fri I did drink plenty of fluids, (three quarts each day) and I got enough sleep because I purposely did so and although I did not go walking as I usually do, I DID purposely exercise. I spent two hours on wednesday and three hours each on thursday and friday supervising between 50 and 90 kids on a playground. (Not by myself, mind you). During the time I was supervising, I purposely walked continuously. I didn't walk at the pace I would ordinarly walk for a work out but I did it for a lot longer than my workouts would have been. I also worked 8 hours each day barely finding time to sit other than when powdering my nose! It was Mid-Winter Break for the school district that my child care program is run in and that meant that we had the kids for 11 1/2 hours each day. Instead of working 6 hours in a split, I worked six hours straight, had a short break then worked two more hours breaking other staff, or vice versa.

Knowing that I am a procrastinator by nature, I realize that blogging every other day is going to be a real act of self discipline for me. If I miss one time, I have to write four days worth and I don't think that works very well for the accountability factor. I will try this one more time. If I do not stay consistent with every other day I will go back to blogging every day with just the occasional two day blog.

Okay, so I've told you about wed-fri. Today is saturday for a few more minutes and things are fresh in my head for the day, so here it goes....

I slept in today, YAY! After getting breakfast, showered and etc. I took my son to his girlfriend's house then went to the ceramic shop I go to sometimes. I may have mentioned a long time ago that I was painting a set of ceramic salt and pepper shakers -cows in turnout gear! I finished the pepper shaker before Christmas and when I was doing some house cleaning this week I discovered it in a box and remembered that the salt shaker was still needing to be finished. Today was the perfect day for that so I spent about 3 hours painting. It was so relaxing! I must remember to do this more often.

I had my monthly fire buff battalion meeting tonight, the first one as the official secretary and I took a lot of notes. Tomorrow I will have to organize and type them up to submit. The president let me have two of our battalion patches. One for my fire coat to replace the McChord Fire Department patch that I removed after I bought it and one for my patch collection. I offered to buy them because I know they weren't made for free, but Cat said "No charge!" Lucky me! :) The quart and a half of iced tea I drank at the meeting and dinner that followed put me at 3 quarts for the day. I didn't get much exercise today, but no less than usual for a weekend day. I'm pretty satisfied.

Now it is time to meet another member of the team.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny Boy!

Here is Johnny Boy enjoying a buffalo burger.

If you like meat, you too can be Johnny Boy's friend!

Johnny Boy is Coach Alex's husband and he absolutely adores his wife, which is adorable to watch. He is kind and thoughtful and sincere. And he has a great sense of humor. John is a great cook too. I have had the pleasure of dining at his table on a number of occasions and I have to admit, I am kind of envious of Coach Alex that her husband is such a great cook and loves doing so!

Another great thing about Johnny Boy is that he puts up with the two of us (Coach Alex and I) hanging out together. He even encourages it sometimes! That is something that our kids say is dangerous because Coach Alex and I are highly entertaining (at least to ourselves!) when we're together. We both talk way too much and Johnny Boy patiently waits for us and then manages to get his 2 cents in at precisely the right moment. And he is very good natured about it all. More importantly, he is a man of his word and a good, kind, thoughtful and moral, Christian man whom I am honored to call my friend.

Thanks John, for all the prayers and encouragement. I cannot tell you how much you mean to me as my friend.

Well, in four minutes it will be tomorrow so I better post this now and get some sleep before church.

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 150 and 151

2010-02-17T21:42:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Poor Coach Alex. She just got back from her trip watching her son graduate. We were going to get together today to walk because although we had both said we would not be meeting this week, we both had forgotten that we each had the day off today. Sadly, about an hour and a half before she was to meet me she texted to say she was SO staying in bed. She had gotten sick!! BOO. NO FUN.

But... I was a good girl!! I went to the mall without her and did two laps inside then one lap outside. That meant I walked 3 1/2 miles today. I SO did not want to do it. And I wanted to quit after the first inside lap. Today, my attire paid off. I looked down at the fire department logo on my shirt and said to myself, I CANNOT QUIT! I WANT THIS. That was when I decided that after my second lap I would walk outside forcing an extra half mile. And I'm glad I did. :)

I have not done as well on the fluids today. I haven't quite made two quarts but I will be sure I do before I go to bed. I really notice now the day after I don't drink enough. And I did sleep plenty last night because I was able to sleep in!! Yay me! By the time I go to bed I will be three for three for the day!

Tuesday:

Today was a great day. I got to sleep in a little because I didn't have to be at work until 9:30. Then the first two hours of my shifts was just giving breaks to the other staff. I didn't have to take responsibility for any problems!!! :)

I drank all of my fluids today (3 quarts) and I got plenty of walking in, even though it wasn't a scheduled day because for this week, all of our child care sites are combined in one place due to Mid Winter Break in the schools. When these breaks occur, I rarely get to sit in a six hour shift. That means I am walking all the time. Somehow it isn't so challenging when I'm doing it for work, but it still burns calories!

That made me three for three again. :)

I'd like to share a memorable part of my day with you. When I arrived at work, my counterpart, another Site Manager said to me, "there is a fire engine on the table for you!" That was a little odd sounding, but upon closer examination I discovered, still in the package, a brand new hotwheels fire engine. On the back it said from (insert whatever random name you like, I can't tell you!). Awwww, what a sweetie! It was from one of my boys. He's in fourth grade and I have had him in my program since he was in kindergarten. When his mom picked him up in the evening I thanked her, knowing that he had gotten his parents to buy it. She told me he likes to play "the Claw" at the store. You know, the game where you put your 50cents in and use a joy stick to sort of control a claw that drops down and tries to grab a prize. They always let him play but when he asked if he could get the fire engine for "Mrs. Hotflash" they told him he had to choose between the fire engine and the claw, and he chose the fire engine!!! What a love! I know I am not supposed to have favorites, but if I did, and of course I don't, he'd be right up at the top of the list! I love my job!

Until next time, stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 148 and 149

2010-02-15T21:02:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Saturday was a very slow day for me. I had a headache most of the day and so did my husband so we really didn’t do a lot. I did sleep in in the morning and therefore got plenty of sleep, and I drank 3 quarts of water and iced tea so I was two for three.

I had planned on walking to make up for not going out specifically on Friday, but that did not happen. L We just didn’t feel up to it. It was a quiet day at home, sleeping, swallowing ibuprofen, drinking tea and water and later, watching movies. Nothing at all exciting.

Sunday

I felt much better! My husband did too. We got up early and went to church. Before service started I had already gotten my first quart down for the day! J After the service we went shopping for groceries. BORING, except we picked out our dinner and we got some walking in. We decided to fix thick pork blade steaks, mashed potatoes and mushroom gravy and asparagus for our Valentines dinner. YUMMY!!!! We couldn’t really afford to go out and we enjoyed our dinner in. Our teenaged son was away at his girlfriend’s house so we had a date at home! J J

We did take the dog on a forty-five minute walk so I made up for my missing walk on Friday! YAY ME! Not only that but we had a good time doing it. We haven’t taken very many walks together (my husband and I) in the last year or so. I would always get winded because he would walk too fast. Today was not like that at all! I kept up and did not get too tired or winded. I really enjoyed it actually.

By bed time I had drank three quarts of water and iced tea so for Sunday I was three for three. WOO HOO!

Nothng else exciting to report.

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 146 and 147

2010-02-12T20:54:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Not much to report for thursday or friday.

Thursday I drank 3 quarts of weak iced tea. :) I was active throughout the day, though I was extremely tired. My dog kept me awake all night jumping up on me then getting down, then up then down, etc. I wanted to tie her long nose in a knot!! So, thanks to her I can only say I got 2 out of three. Nothing exciting to report though. Sorry.

Friday

THANK GOODNESS IT IS FRIDAY and I have a 3 Day weekend!!!!! I drank lots of fluids today, I lost count after 2 quarts. My assistant handed me fluids occasionally and I also had a water bottle that was next to me most of the day. I did not get to go for my walk today due to some work I had to do to prepare for mid-winter break (which means our kids are out of school but we combine our 4 programs and provide care ALL DAY). I did not sit down for more than 20 minutes after 1 pm and I was pretty active prior to that. I am sure that I got an equivalent workout in. And last night I slept like a baby! = D

I think I can fairly call it a three out of three day.

I have nothing else to report today either. But you should see the cutest picture ever! (My brother sent the pic to me.)

Gabriella wants to be a firefighter! Sweet!

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 144 and 145

2010-02-10T22:29:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Tuesday was a good day. I kept very busy today, sitting very little at work. I drank plenty of fluids, about 3 quarts, and I slept great the night before. Three for three! Woo Hoo. The best part of the day though is the fire news!

On the playground at work today was a man with his son playing basketball. He was wearing a sweatshirt with a worn off maltese cross on the chest. One of my boys, a firefighter's son, asked him, "Are you a firefighter?" I heard him answer affirmatively and I stepped in closer. I recognized him from the fire department award ceremonies. I struck up a conversation with him and discovered he is a medic at 4's. I told him I recognized him from the ceremonies and told him I was the newest member of the fire buffs. He told me he had great respect for us and really appreciated it when he sees us at two in the morning. I told him it was an honor to serve but that I had not yet had the privilege to so. We chatted while he coached his son on technique and I supervised the kids on the playground, and then he had to go to pick up his other kid. He said he hoped to see me around. Sadly, I either didn't get or don't remember his name. But I remember the face!

After work I was doing well and had gotten into bed by 9:15. 9:15!! I was very proud of myself for that one. Anyway, I was having this great dream. My family and I were at some sort of block party. There was a guy riding around on a motorcycle and he had been drinking. He dumped it but he got up and was walking around. Somebody called the fire department and they came out. Before they got there, the guy that dumped the bike was smoking and he tried to pick the bike up, dropped it, and dropped his cigarette. He tried to stomp it out but as I watched him struggle with trying to get to it, the bike blew up. (remember it was a dream!) Now it is mass chaos. We're all ducking and covering waiting for flying debris to land, people are screaming, it's pretty hairy. The fire department rolls in and gets to work right away. Once I realize that I am safe and not hurt, I start looking around me. There are people with cuts and burns, but I notice that my husband has melted plastic and burns on his left shoulder. He is too excited to realize that he is hurt but I noticed so I start to drag him along with me over to the firefighters. As I am pulling him through the crowd I start to think, "this is ridiculous. I'm a trained professional! What kind of EMT am I anyway?" (yep-still dreaming) so I decide I am going to treat his injuries myself. All of a sudden I hear this strange series of beeps. I open my eyes and realize that my fire phone is beeping. Before I can react, Cat's voice comes on with something like "Attention all fire buffs. We have a working fire at blah blah blah address. All fire buffs responding please report." Well, I shook off the cobwebs and fumbled with the phone. I hadn't actually used the push to talk feature before and it was kind of awkward but I reported that I was planning on responding and asked her to please text me the address as I had not gotten it written down fast enough. She said she would and I started running around the house trying to find something warm enough for the chilly night and good boots to wear. (I sleep in a recliner chair because it hurts me to lay in our bed so I was in the living room). I barged into the bedroom looking for my boots, much to the chagrin of my husband who had just gone to sleep after getting home past 10 pm. I said, " I need my boots. I've got a fire." He said, "It's late. You have to work." I told him they would let me leave when I had to go to work. He just shook his head then told me to be careful and rolled over. I got out of there, got dressed and headed to the car. Right then the text with the address came in. I hit the navigator control on my phone and nothing happened. Then it asked me if I wanted to install it. AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

Ok. I push the button to install it. It tells me that I need to go into tools and settings and change something but it didn't tell me quite where in there to look and it wasn't in the list. I had to click on something else first. That took me a while to figure out and I am thinking to myself that valuable minutes are being wasted. I finally figure it out and get it installed and then try to get navigator to work with the voice command feature so I can do it while I drive. No luck. Cat radios me and tells me the fire is out, it is all overhaul now but buffs are still responding. I tell her I am still on my way. Navigator is not working for me. I am not saying the right words and I don't know what the right words are. (rolls eyes, a lot!!) I give up and head the direction I think the address is in. I am not sure where the street is that I need to get to but I have a pretty good idea. About the time I pull onto the main street Cat radios me telling me the chief wants to know my 20. I tell her I am just turning onto fill in the blank street. She gives me directions and I head to the fire. Only problem is that when I get close, the street she tells me to turn on she says to turn east. I do. I can't find any flashing lights, police cars, fire engines or anything. I can smell smoke in the air but there isn't even much hanging around. I drive around a few blocks then radio Cat. She gives me directions again but this time says turn left instead of saying go east. Ah now I get it. Left is west!! Sigh. Nobody's perfect, not me, not Cat!

Finally I see police cars almost blocking the intersection and I pull out my fire department ID badge, roll down my window and stop to flash it at them. "I'm with the buffs," I say. The officer rolls his eyes at me and waves me through. (Grin!) I park behind the farthest back engine, as I had been instructed, put on my orange coat, lock my car and head to the canteen vehicle. In this case, it is Cat and Bob's personal vehicle. Cool. Cat and I have a good laugh about the comedy of errors it took to get me there. No worries, they are set up and ready. We chat, watch the scene, Bob stops a car from trying to come through explaining that they CANNOT drive over the 5" supply line across the road.

Presently firefighters start meandering over a few at a time to have something to drink and a cookie or two. One of them checks carefully to see what kind of cookies they are and when he confirms they are chocolate chip, he helps himself. Cat gives him a bunch of crap for being picky, good naturedly, of course.

A little later I see a familiar face. It is Will, from 8's. I brought him cookies on Saturday. Well they were for all the guys, but he's the one I talked to. The one my husband told that he wasn't that involved with the buffs, YET! =) Will said, "It's nice to see you again, Karen." He remembered my name. :)

We were there about an hour before engines started rolling out and then the chief excused us. I got home at 12:01. I was too keyed up to sleep. My mind wouldn't slow down. Suddenly it hit me why the navigator wasn't working on my phone. It wasn't my phone I was using. It was the fire phone. (blushes with embarrassment) I installed it on the fire phone. Now I owe the club ten dollars. SIGH. I lay there in the dark, praying for sleep to come easily and for the amount of sleep I got to be three times more restful so that I would be fully awake and refreshed when I got up at 4:30. I still was awake a half hour later so I practiced deep breathing. Sleep finally came. I awoke energetic but I was tired most of the day. Still, it was worth it!

Wednesday,

Before I got ready for work today I e-mailed Cat to tell her of my silly mistake in all the "excitement" last night and warn her that I owed the club ten dollars. (more blushing from embarrassment.) After my morning shift though, I was a good girl! I went walking without Coach Alex today ( remember she is unavailable the rest of the week). I also drank about 2 1/2 quarts today. I didn't get much sleep but that was because duty called. I had gone to bed early so I am counting myself 3 for three! YAY ME!!!

Now, however, it is way later than I would like and I am going to bed. IF I don't get a nap tomorrow, I will only be able to claim at best, 2 of three. Sigh.

Stay safe everyone!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Days 144 and 145

2010-02-08T20:46:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Let's see, Sunday was a typical day of rest. I got plenty of sleep last night. YAY ME!! I didn't get a whole lot of exercise in but wasn't lazy either and I drank two quarts today. I know that is my minimum goal but at least I made it. 3 for 3 today =)

This morning when I was getting ready for church there were a lot of sirens that continued for a long time so I knew it must be a pretty substantial fire. We didn't get a call to respond but it did make the news. Check it out. It happened less than two miles from my house!

http://www.kirotv.com/news/22493858/detail.html

I found out that CERT (Community Emergency Response Teams) training is available this spring during the month of March. It is taught by our local fire department. The classes are based on the model developed by FEMA and teach citizens how to help each other in the first few hours after a disaster until emergency responders are able to get there to render professional help. (we all know that in a huge disaster, a few hours could be a lot longer!) Students will gain hands-on skills such as how to put out small fires, render first aid in a disaster situation, and perform light search and rescue. There are six classes and one day of practical exercises. Many cities across the country provide CERT training and in our city it is provided to us free of charge unlike some other places.

I will be in CERT classes starting the second week of March, every tuesday and thursday from 6:30-9:00 pm and will finish up on Saturday the 27th. Then I will start EMT school on Monday the 29th! I am very excited to be able to participate in CERT and even more excited that my husband signed up to do it too!

That's all for Sunday.

Monday:

Today was an awesome day. I met Coach Alex and we had our morning walk. I really enjoy walking with Alex because we both talk too much and it makes the time pass quickly. Before we know it, we've completed our hour/3 miles and it's time to go! It's going to be tough the next week and a half or so. Coach Alex and Johnny Boy leave for California on Wednesday so I won't have her to kick my butt if I don't walk on Wed and Fri. In addition, my work schedule is crazy the week of the 15-19th so I won't be meeting her to walk that week either. BEFORE you all decide to collectively kick my butt about that... (because you are all so awesome that way) I am still planning on walking. I will just have to be motivated to do it without my Coach. But that's the beauty of blogging... built in accountability!

I drank 3 quarts today. YAY ME! I also slept well last night so I am three for three again. WOO HOO!

Well, that's it for today, team! Thanks for the support. You are all AWESOME!!

Stay safe.

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 142 and 143

2010-02-06T21:28:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Here is another two day report. I am just finding it hard to find time to blog lately. I have tried to spend less time on the computer lately and get other things done, so that is part of it.

Friday was a very busy day for me. I had my morning shift, then my walk with Coach Alex, then home for a short stint, then a meeting for work, then my afternoon shift and finally a 4 hour extended program we call Parent's Night Out until 10pm. That's why I didn't blog friday!

Coach Alex was funny. She sent me a text friday morning that said,

"so. how are we doin? am i getting out of bed to showr or am i rolling back over to sleep?"

(admittedly it has been a crazy week with me getting my exercise on the college campus monday and getting to the mall to walk on wednesday and promptly tossing my cookies instead, but i thought about it this morning before the text about how I did not want to go but by golly I was going come hell or highwater)

So I texted back:

"Get your tushie out of bed!"

She responded with,

"ooo so viscious! are you sure your not the coach?"

Well, today I guess I was. Coach and I had a good walk and our own private body guard was there to keep us safe! LOL ( CoachAlex knows what I'm talking about and so does Johnny Boy who has made a complete recovery from his recent attack by a mutant killer curb.)

I was so surprised on our walk today. It is the first week in February, right? Look at what Coach and I saw outside the mall:

Not only did I get my walk in, but I drank 3 1/2 quarts (yes 3 not 2) of fluids and I slept very well over night so I am 3 for 3! Yay me!

Saturday:

Today was kind of a lazy day. I slept in for the first time in a while which was really nice. I spent some of my day cleaning up my computer, deleting junk and making more space on it. I did some studying and I spent some time cleaning out the kitchen. We are in need of weeding out the entire house and we have both agreed that the kitchen is where we will start and I did that while my husband hauled off brush today.

So I have had my sleep and I've been reasonably active for a weekend but I have not had much to drink today. I know better than to not just keep something near me but I haven't taken the time to do that today. I have maxed at about 1 1/2 quarts today so I can only qualify as 2 for 3. Sigh.

Here is the pic I promised several days ago. I do not photograph well but here it goes anyway. I wish I could send you my Fire Department ID pic instead but it isn't something I have access to other than the ID badge itself. =(

Before:

After:
*I don't know what caused the line to go across the top of the pic. :(

I like the new hair color though it was weird the first few days when I looked in the mirror. My hair was similar to the new color every summer when I was a kid. Late in the summer it would be hilighted with blonde as well giving it a reddish gold shimmer.

Okay, well, it off to bed soon so stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 140 and 141

2010-02-04T10:22:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Sorry I have been making a lot of double posts lately. It's not that I don't want to blog, I am just choosing to go to bed a little ealier and have been very busy during the day, for the most part.

Tuesday, Not much to report. I drank barely two quarts (but that was the minimum goal, right?) and I slept very well. It was not an exercise day but I kept busy and active. Thats 3 for 3. Nothing exciting to report for the day.

Wednesday: Well, I did well on sleep. I went to bed early Tuesday night and got an extra hour. YAY ME! I drank lots of fluids, probably closer to 3 quarts. I did NOT get my workout with Coach Alex. I did make an attempt, but I decided tossing cookies was workout enough. :( I woke up tuesday morning with a sore throat and by the time I was ready for work my stomach was churning. I went to work and after my shift I drove to the mall to meet Coach Alex. I figured I would at least try to do my walk. I barely got parked when the cookies were tossed and I called Coach to tell her I was not walking. I went home and went to bed. I woke up at noon, had some yogurt to put something on my stomach and drank some tea. Then I went to work. (No subs available... staff/child ratios to keep) I did okay the rest of the day.
But that puts me 2 for 3. Or maybe 2.5 for effort.

I did post on the Crusty Jakes on Monday that I had been elected secretary of the fire buff battalion and had been issued my coat and phone. I posted a picture of me in the coat and mentioned that I probably won't be issused bunker pants and boots for a very long time as the city budget is in the tank. I checked the thread Tuesday and a chief from Detroit posted in my thread that he might be able to scrounge me a pair of boots and pants! OMG! That BLEW me away!!!! This man knows my background, somewhat. He has a business in audio visual technology/advertising and is hiring ff's police and ems people to work for him all over the country. (EASY work, GOOD pay, works well with ff's rotating schedules and requires no financial commitment from you to get into the job: if you want to know more about it ask me! He's still hiring!) He hired me so he knows I'm a wannabe and that I want to go to school etc. Even so, I was so surprised and tickled by his offer! The "guys" on the Crusty Jakes are SO supportive. I LOVE them!!! I am posting a cut and paste of the thread I started there so you can see why.

The title of the post is: A FEW BABY STEPS FORWARD

I wrote:
Hi! I just wanted to share my recent successes.

I was recently elected Secretary of our local Fire Buff Battalion and issued a FD ID badge and Fire Buff Battalion phone so that I can now respond to fire calls and serve with the canteen unit. I got my coat but due to budget issues may not get my boots and bunker pants for a LONG time.

So.... I'll get wet. Sigh.

Even better though...

Yesterday I was accepted into the EMT program at my local community college. (I finished all the pre-requisites over the weekend). I start class in late March. I suspect most will be half my age in the class. I wish I had done this 25 years ago, but I'm not letting anything stop me now!

ROOKIELZ Wrote:

And the chant starts.

"Go Flash Go!"

Every step no matter how small is another step closer. If you want this bad enough, nothing will stop in your way.
And as for the age of the others in your class?
So?
You have kids. They probably are in the process of putting you through as many hair raising experiences as they can. It actually helps in the long run. You've done vomit, diarrhea, sleepless nights, organizing, multi tasking. You know a yell of frustration from one of true pain without even being in the same room.

You've got the upper hand here, IMHO.

Now, go gettum Flash!

cjminick390 wrote:

Sounds like you are off to a great start.

Ladder8 wrote:

Go Flash!

depchief135 wrote:

Very nice!

capfiremedic wrote:

Canteen....

Never seen one. We aren't that well thought of until called, then it's "What the hell took you so long?"

Good deal though, study and learn well. You'll do fine.

(Note: I wrote Cap back and told him I thought well of him!)

Chief54 wrote:

Hey flash! Maybe I can scrounge up some bunkers and boots. What size boots? I have your address from your application so if I can get them I can ship them to you.

Also I'll be in Seattle just before I do the Firehouse World Expo in San Diego on 3-1-10 or just after, to work on a display for Microsoft and to find out if FF can build and install them. how far are you from Seattle?

I wrote:

OMG! That is a very nice offer! Might be a tough one to fill. I wear a women's size 6, (Mens 41/2 ) shoe. Don't know what the correlation is to boot sizes because I've never owned a pair! As far as how far am I from Seattle? Not very! I am 1- 1 1/2 hours away (to the south) depending on traffic. It would be great to meet you in person either way! You have my cell number if you want to call me.

fireball wrote:

i'm very happy for you.congrats.

MikeWard wrote:

Congrats on the gear.

You will do fine in the EMT course.

kjohn23 wrote:

comgrats

Dalmatian90 wrote:

Nice.

nwfdcapt26-respctdajob wrote:

You're only too old when you're dead! Never let age hold you back. Often it's only the condition to what you aged to, and not the the age you've reached.

Scrappy wrote:

I'm the oldest in my paramedic class by 6 years. I'm nearly as old as one of hte instructors! Age means nothing..in fact, most of the 'older' EMT students I know do better than the young kids, and are better EMTs. As for boots, I had to buy my own because I take the same size and my dept didn't have them. It's a write off on your taxes...

(Note: Not as a volunteer with the fire buffs it isn't. Sigh)

drkblram wrote:

Scrappy, just thinking about it, in my EMT-B class. we lost almost 1/2 the class. The VAST majority were "college age" kids. The adults (use 24+ for this situation) had maybe a 10% drop out rate.

I wrote:

Thanks guys for all the encouragement. I am definitely not dead yet!

And another thing I have on my side is that I know what it is like to have let my dreams go. The youngin's have no idea how hard that can make life.

I'm not letting go again!

So, now you can see why I hang out there! They know who I am and what I am up to and they allow me to be a part of their family. I keep telling you I am very blessed and this is just more evidence of it.

THANKS BRO FOR SENDING ME THERE!!!

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 138 and 139

2010-02-01T22:12:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Sorry, I have been really busy lately and it is hard to find time to blog. I don't even feel like doing it now but know that I cannot let it get any further away from me if it is to be an effective tool.

Sunday was a day of being VERY SORE!! Lots of water, lots of rest, ice and ibuprofin. Long island iced teas might have worked better, or at least might have made me feel like they were working better, but alas, I did not tryi them to find out. =(

I have bruises on my knees and on my butt. Both the left and right sides are bruised. The muscles in my legs, butt, arms and neck are also killing me. My hands hurt from having to squeeze that mask so tightly onto the face of that dummy. I'm glad the masks seal better on real people than they do in this situation. Seriously, I knew this would be work but I had no idea how intense of a workout I would get in that class! I have an awful lot of work to do!!!

I drank about 2 quarts of fluid and got lots of rest. I slept fairly well saturday night and I napped on Sunday. Considering the workout I had on Saturday and the fact that Sunday is a day of rest, I can fairly give myself a 3 for 3.

Monday

I had my fluids, herbal tea... lots of it... all day. I slept VERY well because I couldn't stay awake if my life depended on it!! And as you will read below, I am definitely 3 for 3 today!!!

Today I learned what it felt to be a pinball! Go here, go there, back over there, no over here, no that way, come back...!!! That is what it was like at the college today when I went to apply for the EMT program. And to think that I had called Coach Alex to tell her I would miss our workout because it was way more important to me to apply for the EMT program and be one of the first 27 to successfully do so. I GOT my workout, and then some. I would bet I got more of a workout than I would have otherwise. I forgot what a wealth of misinformation and miscommunication community college could be! It took a lot of walking, a little talking, a lot of smiling and appreciating that everyone meant well and a lot of patience, but I am officially enrolled to the college and my application to the EMT program has been accepted. I start class the end of March! : D =) : > = > : ) = D

I had planned to write with a lot more details of today, but I am very tired. Sorry about that. I think you can read that I am very happy and excited though. And thankful for all of the prayers that have been offered on my behalf and all of the obstacles that God has cleared for me and the encouragement, etc. etc.

One more fun thing for the day. I took cookies (orange vanilla ones, of course) and a card to Station 8 tonight. I met Will, the firefighter who answered the door. He invited us in the lobby of the station and we chatted for about 10 minutes. He has a deep respect and appreciation for the Buffs, and I shared that I (and also the rest of the buffs) also have a deep appreciation for the ones out there doing the job of saving lives and property. He was humble, as most firefighters are and downplayed it. He engaged my hubby in conversation some too and my hubby said something that surprised me. Will said that he looked forward to seeing us on the canteen unit. As I started to say that my husband wasn't really into the whole gig he was just along for the ride with me, my hubby said, "I haven't gotten that far into it... yet." YET!!! He said, "YET"!!! Maybe someday? =) That would be SO cool to share this with him!!

I'm going to bed.

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 136 and 137

2010-01-30T21:38:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Sorry I did not post yesterday. I had a very busy day and then went out with friends last night so I did not get a chance to post. Yesterday was a good day. I met Coach Alex and we had our workout-walk. We only did 2 instead of 3 miles because we both had so much else to do for the day but it was a good workout anyway.   I drank 3 quarts of fluid as well. And I slept very well the night before so I was three for three for Friday, Jan 29th. YAY ME!

I met with the Fire Buff Battalion president, Cat and her husband Bob so that they could take me to the fire department to get my ID badge made. When we went to 9's, where they do that, nobody was home. Darned fire department chooses to be busy when we are available for a visit!! LOL   Well, while we talked about where we would go to wait for them, she asked me if I had gotten the fire call the night before. I had not. We discovered that my fire phone had serious problems. Actually all 8 of the Battalion's fire phones were having problems. Mine, like the other seven, was going off at 3 am for no reason with a busy signal. When the phone was closed, even when it was on the charger. Nothing would shut the busy signal off except to completely shut down the phone, wait a few seconds and restart it. Weird stuff, I tell you. We took my phone back to Verizon, along with Cat's and she let them know in no uncertain terms how unhappy she was with our service. The Battalion has had 8 phones for six months and the longest that we have gone without having to go into Verizon to get something fixed was about 4 weeks! Cat kept stressing to them, we work with the FIRE DEPARTMENT, we NEED our phones to do what they are supposed to do so that we can RESPOND to fire calls. I think the phones are fixed now. At least, I HOPE they are! While Verizon fiddled with our phones, we went to lunch. After lunch we got our phones and headed back to 9's to see if we could get that ID badge. We were in luck, they just rolled in ahead of us. The door was still up when we got there.

We had to try several times to get my picture done. Digital cameras can be touchy and we had a tough time in the station finding the right lighting and background to make a decent picture. At one point they asked me to stand in front of a beige door. I was about to when I looked at the plate on the door. Just above my head would have been the words, "Battalion Chief". I laughed and suggested that perhaps that wasn't the best spot to take my picture. =D   They took me in the day room and suggested I sit in one of the recliner chairs. They are huge, I am not. I said to them that I might get swallowed up in the chair. I had visions of me looking like a miniature person sitting on the furniture in a giant's living room. They decided that didn't look very good either. Eventually I got my picture taken in front of a white cabinet they found in one of the rooms. The firefighter who took the picture then inputted (is that even a word?) my picture and my information into the computer. A few more clicks of the mouse and voila! I now have an official Tacoma Fire Department ID badge with a darned good picture (W. Spencer did a great job) which is amazing because I don't generally photograph all that well. Now I can officially respond to fire calls!! YAY!!!!
Basically, that made me week!

And then there was today!

I got up and got ready to go this morning feeling a little nervous and a little excited at the same time. In order to apply for the EMT program at the college, I had to take CPR for the Professional Rescuer from either the Red Cross or the American Heart Association. As I mentioned before, (I think) I sweet talked my way into the class for today.

The class was an all day INTENSE training. CPR, Rescue Breathing and AED training for professionals is more intense and involved than the basic classes are. It was a fun, hard, intense, challenging and exciting class to take. I have to say that I am physically exhausted far beyond any level of exhaustion I have had in a very long time.   I was definitely the oldest participant in the class. One of the instructors was older than me. She had been a paramedic locally for quite a while and then an injury forced her to quit. She then taught with the Red Cross for 17 years and recently took the EMT program again. She has decided to become a Physician's Assistant. We bonded instantly because we both decided to follow our dreams late in life! Anyway, I was telling you about her because, when we started doing practicals, she suggested I get some padding for my knees. She singled me out. Not because she was trying to discriminate, she just felt some sympathy or empathy because I have old knees! She would not take no for an answer and she found me some decent padding. It's funny though because it was never placed in the right position to be any help no matter what I did. Medical emergencies are not particulary predictable. LOL It was okay with me though because I really did NOT want any special considerations. In fact, she told us if our wrists hurt we could take it easy, etc. I told her I would not modify any thing I was expected to do because I would not be able to in real life situations. She liked that. She said to remember that in real life situations I would not feel the pain as much, and might not notice it at all even, until everything was done and over with. Adrenaline has a way of doing that. She seemed to like that I would not whimp out.    I definitely felt good about it too. And it showed me a little of what I need to do to prepare for this kind of career too.

Now I am legally considered a "professional" emergency responder. I am legally obligated to respond to any medical emergency I come upon, 24/7/365 (and sometimes 366) unless someone more qualified is on scene. That is a huge responsibility. One that is at the same time a little scary and empowering. I am qualified to make a difference. I have a lot more training and experience to get in order to reach my dreams, but this was a good start today and I am proud of my accomplishment and excited to be one step higher on my ladder. And WOW... am I ever tired!!!

Next step: Monday morning I will take my information and my money to the college and apply for the EMT program. I heard from one of the other students in my class that there are 10 applicants so far. That leaves just 17 spaces. I hope he and I get two of them. He still needs the immunizations.

I'll keep you posted. In the mean time, stay safe.

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 135

2010-01-28T20:17:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

Things are looking good for me. I still don't know if I will get into my EMT class or not, but I am looking at all the things that have happened this week and thinking, God really loves me! First, I took the intitiative to call about the waitlist and found out that everything was a mess. Second, I scrambled and located the vaccines I needed. Third I located and obtained my TB test. Fourth, I convinced the Red Cross to allow me into an already over crowded class to get my CPR for the Professional Rescuer class taken care of by Saturday so that I can then apply to the EMT program on Monday. God continues to clear obstacles as he has all along this journey. If He wants me in the class this time around, I will be there. If not, it can only be because he has better plans for me. How can I lose?

I want to thank all of you again for the prayers, encouragement and openness you have shared with me or offered up on my behalf. I am feeling much more positive, even though I have stumbled a bit. I feel like today, I could move mountains!

Speaking of today... I have had two quarts of fluids, I slept very well last night and I have had an active day, though it was not an exercise day. I am three for three. =D

I also went and got my shots today =( Both of my arms are sore. I feel like swiss cheese! I'm full of holes! The nurse was amazing. I barely felt the needle pokes. Unfortunately, the vaccines that were injected were not so subtle. They burned and smarted! But I did not kick the nurse. I didn't cry or yell even, though for one of them I did say, "Ow, ow ow!" Before I left, I told her I was glad she had poked me today! (That brought a laugh, let me tell you!) Tomorrow I get the TB test site checked and mail my transcript requests.

The first BIG step in reaching my dream is so close I can almost taste it! Almost.

And I did something fun today too. I colored my hair for the first time in 25 years. No more silver bangs peeking out when I'm not looking for them. I lightened up my hair a few shades from a medium brown to Golden Light Brown which on me is sort of coppery brown. I have natural red hilights and the red is much more prominent now. I like it though. My husband noticed and complimented me almost right away when he saw me. I didn't warn him I was going to do this. I was surprised he liked it so much. He is the type to give his honest opinion so it is really cool that he complimented me on it. =) I'll try to post a pic soon.

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 134

2010-01-27T19:24:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

I have worked very hard today at being active. I got my three miles in with Coach Alex this morning and I was on my feet much of the day as well at work. I am a little behind on my fluids but will catch up by bedtime to 2 1/2 quarts. I got plenty of sleep last night and have felt pretty good most of the day. Yay ME! 3 for three (I promise to finish the fluids so I don't have to report back about that).

I have had a pretty productive day. I discovered I could not get my TB test with my immunizations because they are not open on Saturday and that is the day they would need to check it but I was able to obtain it elsewhere today and will have it checked on Friday. :) Tomorrow I will be the human pin cushion :( The best thing that happened today though, was that I was able to convince the Red Cross to let me into an already OVER capacity Professional Rescuer CPR class for Saturday. I was polite but persistant and even asked what the odds of getting in would be if I just showed up and hoped somebody else didn't. The lady I spoke with, Catherine, took pity on my and spoke with the instructor about the situation I was in and I was allowed in! THANKS CATHERINE!! By Monday, I should have everything I need to go register for the class! With any luck ( or better yet, divine intervention) I will get in.

I have also hit a bump in the road. My recent lack of discipline has caught up with me. I weighed today, finally. I regained 5 pounds! I am back up to 194. This is my first relapse I think and I can beat it but I will have to be on top of things. I have to be careful about emotional eating and remember to watch how much junk I eat. There has been more around the house lately, post holiday stuff so it has been a little challenging. I was at first very discouraged even though I suspected the outcome. But then I remembered some kind words from a Crusty Jake that I posted a while back. I will post them again because they still apply and I find them to be an encouragement.

nwfdcap26-respectdajob wrote:

Having a dream is the same as having a goal. Accepting that it may take some uneven roads, and a few bumps, and maybe even a wrong turn or two are just part of the journey.

I had a dream too. I dreamed it everyday. Conscious and subconscious thought. Day dreams....it was all-consuming. I hit a few snags along the way too. But in the end, what I thought was almost impossible became a lifestyle that I KNEW I wanted, but wasn't sure I would obtain.

Now, sometimes I have to look back at it all to stay grounded, and realize what it took to get here.
You'll do fine. If it was so easy it wouldn't be worth it.
Thanks for the lift, brother! (again!)

I'll blog at you later but stay safe in the mean time!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 133

2010-01-26T19:15:00.000-08:00

Hi Team!

It is good to be back and I have a fresh attitude and I am ready to dig in and climb hard! Last night I slept very well! YAY ME!    I drank 2 quarts of herbal tea today and I was very active and on my feet for most of the day. Yay ME! 3 for 3!!

I still haven't heard from the college about registration for the EMT course. I called them today and was shocked at what I discovered. Apparently whomever I spoke to in September, or October, whenever it was that I called them, did not know what they were talking about and misinformed me. I don't know if I ever was on the waitlist or not. Apparently I was supposed to fill out an application for the program already. I don't know how long ago the applications for the spring class became available but if I am not one of the first 27 to complete all the requirements and turn it in, I don't get into the class. *&^$!!!!

The nice lady I spoke to today e-mailed me the application. I need transcripts, (official ones, mailed directly to this college from the other colleges -which takes as long as two weeks) which I expected, but I didn't know I needed them right now! I need a whole mess of immunizations, which insurance won't pay for of course: TB test, MMR, Diptheria/Tetanus, Hep B series (must be started to apply for EMT program), Flu shot, H1N1 shot (note from doc will suffice since I had it, I checked on that) and chicken pox! I have an appointment tentatively scheduled for this thursday at 11:30 (if the doc can get the vaccines in by then) and I will leave there looking like swiss cheese!

As frustrated as I am about the crunch to get this done and be one of the first 27, I have to realize that this was not a suprise to God and trust that all will work out in HIS timing, remembering that his timing is always perfect. I am doing my best to consider that and keep a good attitude. Nonetheless, for you prayer warriors out there, please pray for me to get everything in quickly and get into the program this spring. If I do, I will be hirable by summer and since I don't have a job in the summers with my current employer, that would be especially helpful!

In other news, Cat (Fire Buff Battalion President) e-mailed me today and wants to get together to get my fire department issued Fire Buff ID badge at which point I will officially be designated Canteen 7 (not 6 like I had been told earlier) and be able to run calls when needed. =D   Yay ME! We also finally launched the Fire Buff Battalion website. If you are interested in taking a look it is still under construction but the address is: http://www.tacomafirebuff.com/

Now, I am late on this but as promised, it is time to start meeting the team (for those who chose to participate). Team, meet Coach Alex: (Giving me a cheesy smile)

Coach Alex is my very best friend in the whole wide world! Alex is the kind of friend that can kick your butt and still make you smile and say thanks! She will not hesitate to administer a good butt kicking when needed and that is exactly why I chose her as my coach. She is positive and always speaks the truth, even when it is something you might not want to hear (but need to).

Alex and I met at work at a Christian School where she was the playground supervisor and I was a Camp Counselor in the summer. She was determined not to like me because I came across to her as a know it all in a meeting when we first met so she kept to herself mostly. One day, she and the children were out on the playground chasing an escaped rabbit around a small fenced in portion of the playground. The kids were trying to help her catch it but they kept getting excited and running and shouting. None of which are conducive to capturning a scared bunny rabbit. Finally one of the kids said, "Mrs. Hecker, just sneak up on it!" to which she replied, "There's no sneaking in gravel!"   Well, the sing song way she said it sounded exactly like Tom Hanks (albeit with a higher toned voice) in the movie "A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN" when he said, "There's no crying in baseball!" and I said that out loud because it struck me as funny.

Alex heard me. She and her husband had recently had a conversation that only 1 per cent (or maybe it was 3, I never can remember) of the population regularly quotes movies. Right then she discovered that we were BOTH members of the one per cent club. We have been inseparable ever since. We have since discovered that we are so much alike it scares our kids (and our husbands). They all say when we are together it is scary because it's like having two moms/wives at once. We laugh so much together that my face often hurts when we spend much time together due to the big smile that attaches itself to me.

There you have it. Coach Alex, you are amazing and I love you!

I'm getting off the computer to get some dinner and get to bed at a reasonable time (at least that is the plan) so stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 128-132

2010-01-25T20:49:00.000-08:00

Hi Team.

I'm back. The last week or so has been long and hard, but I am amazed at how much love and support I have received from friends and family, from God, from strangers even. Today I layed my grandpa, George Blue, to rest. He was buried with full military honors and Portland Fire and Rescue attended to pay tribute to a wonderful, compassionate man who loved deeply and shared his love and compassion with all he came into contact with. Grandpa served 30 years in the fire service and never tired of talking about his passion for helping others and of telling great stories about his work. He was a wonderful man, an awesome grandpa and I will miss him very much. Rest in peace Grandpa.

I learned something this week that perhaps deep down I knew all along, but now I have to face. I am an emotional eater. I eat for comfort. And when I am sad I eat anything and everything. I fear I may have a lot undoing to to do. And I didn't drink enough either. And because I wasn't sleeping much, I didn't exercise much either, though I DID make my friday workout with Coach Alex.

I realized, too, that I have not fully gotten back into the swing of things since November when I had the swine flu. I need a swift kick in the axe to get back in the game, and prayers for some strong will power to do what needs to be done, no matter how I feel. I DO want this for myself. I WANT to live this dream and I have been letting life drag me down. It's time to toughen up and buckle down and get to work! The way I see it, I've been climbing this ladder for four months and I've made progress. Now I've misstepped and slid down a few rungs but I'm back and it's up, up, up I go from here.

Thanks so much for your support. You'll never know just how much it means to me.

Stay safe!

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 127

2010-01-21T09:17:00.000-08:00

Hi Team.

I just want to start by thanking you all for the tremendous support you have been and continue to be during this hard time I am going through. I cannot say enough how much I appreciate the outpouring of love and support. I am SO blessed.

Today was a little better day. I was a zombie for the better part of the day because I had only about 2 1/2 hour sleep. I drank 2 1/2 quarts of water and tea today and I was very active at work! That makes me 3 for 3! I guess I had better figure out how to sleep under stress or I'll never make it as a paramedic! Today was an extra long day at work so after the first few hours I was really wide awake and doing much better than the beginning of the shift. When one works with kids it is kind of a sink or swim kind of deal. Either I had to pull some strength out of my pocket and get it together or I'd have been eaten alive! I chose not to get eaten!

My assistant (the rock of my staff) was out and will be all week because her grandmother is very ill. My substitute is a wonderfully nice person but pretty much useless. She takes no initiative and when given directions and asked if she needs clarification or assistance with anything she says no. She talks as though she understands what is expected and then does nothing! I'd almost rather be a staff person short and over the legal ratio of staff/kids than have to deal with that. The kids are always rowdy and squirrelly when they get out of school early so that can be challenging and today was no exception. On top of it, one of my 4th grade boys really slammed his thumb in the door (heavy metal school doors). He had a small cut or puncture, hard to tell which, on the outer thumb next to the thumbnail and it stubbornly bled. I applied pressure for about two minutes and checked it but it didn't stop. It finally took about 10 minutes of pressure and elevation to stop it. It wasn't a lot of blood but it didn't want to stop. He got upset and started to get nauseated and a stomach ache, pale and generally not looking so hot about the time I got the bleeding stopped and a bandage on his thumb so I took him inside and had him lie down, elevated his feet, kept him warm, I got an ice pack for his thumb and I talked to him as I monitored him for the next 10 minutes. While I dealt with the minor medical emergency my childcare program fell apart and my teacher and the sub did not communicate or effectively handle the 28 kids that were there. Now the teacher is a good teacher and works wonderfully well with me ordinarily, but she was trying to deal with the group with the sub as her back up and nothing was happening. I could see it all falling apart but I could not leave the inured boy. It was very frustrating.

After monitoring the boy for 10 minutes he seemed to be doing better. His color was back, he was talking and animated but still not his usual self and he insisted that his stomach still really hurt and he felt like he would be sick. At this point I managed to get the staff to get all the kids inside from the playground so we were all in the cafeteria. I had the injured boy away from the group and mostly out of site of the kids. He was visible enough that I could monitor him while assisting my staff in getting control of the group again, which I did. Within the next 10 minutes, my injured boy was smiling most of the time he was talking and he was telling me about his dad's previous injuries of having impaled his arm with some part of a broken bicycle one time. I figured this kid would be okay now. Somehow during all of this I had called my boss to inform her of the situation and called the kids' parents. Sadly, mom's work phone went straight to voicemail and the home phone and dad's cell phone, (which were supposed to be emergency back up numbers) gave me a recording of having been disconnected! It was another 40 minutes before his mom called me back and I filled her in. I let her speak to him and it was decided that his dad would come and get him and they would go home. By the time he got picked up he was complaining to dad that he wanted to stay and have a corn dog for snack! It was a very long day!

Once home for the evening I discoveredt that My grandpa's service will be on Monday so I will be taking the train Saturday to the station nearest my brother and will stay with him for the weekend. My husband will drive down on Monday, attend the services and bring us both home. I also found out, however, that my sister, whom I haven't seen in probably 10 years, will be coming from Nebraska and staying with my mom for a week -a mile from my home. I am so excited and happy that I will get to see her. My mom is happy that she will have all her children in one place for the first time in decades!

As I said, I am doing a bit better for now. I'll try to keep current here as much as possible.

Stay safe.

Hotflash out.

Report From Ladder Company 40 Day 126

2010-01-20T09:51:00.000-08:00

Hi Team.

Simple report is all I have the energy for. I am not really sleeping but I have remembered to drink my fluids. I was busy today and therefore pretty active so I guess that is 2 for three. Just functioning at minimal levels today. Sorry this post is such a downer. I'll climb back out of this hole after I've had a few days to deal with things. Thanks for caring.

Stay safe.

Hotflash out.